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  • The Atlantic

    Dear Therapist: Should I Just Accept That My Relationship With My Mom Is Beyond Repair?

    I’m getting married, and I want her to be a part of my life.
    by Lori Gottlieb Nov 02, 2020 6 minutes
    Source: Bianca Bagnarelli

    Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

    Dear Therapist,

    I am getting married in February, and I recently picked out my wedding dress with my mom. My mom and I have had a strained relationship for most of my life, but I was hoping to include her in the wedding planning. I made the trip to Florida to go dress shopping together, but that day devolved into a horrible fight that has left me wondering if I should keep trying to include her, or just accept that our relationship is beyond repair.  

    My mom is incapable of forgiving others and whenever we have any kind of disagreement, she brings up everything I have done wrong throughout my life—not doing chores as a child, sneaking out of the house as a teenager, losing my temper with her as a college student, and so on.

    I am now 30

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