How to Fall in Love & Not Do Stupid Sh*t

By Viola Ramkissoon

When you're in love, things are fragile, and the last thing you want to do is mess it all up... with stupid sh*t. In this book, I'll tell you exactly how to avoid sabotaging things with your crush, date or partner, and what to do so you'll have the best chance of things going smoothly.

This is for anyone who has fallen in love with someone. If you've been shot by Cupid and want to avoid acting like a fool or being with someone who's wrong for you, this is for you.

For decades I've been observing love-stricken singles and listening to stories from frustrated, miserable and heartbroken people. Needing to understand and help persons in these situations have led me to do tons of research into dating and relationships, become a certified relationship coach and write this book.

This book will help you:

Understand why people in love act the way they do

Avoid those embarrassing and disastrous mistakes made by most love-stricken people

Determine if someone is right or wrong for you

Know how to be an individual who's extremely high-quality and attractive

Included are some fun images, 40 red flags to be wary of, and 22 types of stupid sh*t to avoid doing, so you can keep your dignity and successfully navigate the tricky world of dating and relationships.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Viola Ramkissoon
• Release date: Jan 20, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201136505

Viola Ramkissoon

Viola Ramkissoon is a Life, Health, Relationship and Spiritual Coach, visual artist and author of 21 books including "How to Fall in Love & Not Do Stupid Sh*t", "The Formula for True Happiness", and "How to End Suffering so All Will Have Supreme & Eternal Bliss".

Book preview

1

Falling in Love

Demystified

Being in love makes a person euphoric, full of energy and dizzy with excitement. No wonder so many people love the feeling of being in love and actively seek out the experience. The feeling is so intense that it might even seem mysterious, otherworldly or divine. But here’s the thing – there’s really nothing miraculous about it. Why people fall for certain individuals and feel the way they do when in love can actually be scientifically explained.

Why Humans Have Types

Everyone is different and every relationship-seeking person has at least one type. A person might be inclined to fall for someone with physical attributes they find attractive, a certain scent (natural or artificial), specific personality traits, similar beliefs and values or a combination of these.

Some people tend to crush on people who have qualities they lack or admire quite a lot. For example, a timid person might have the tendency to be infatuated with those who are powerful and dominant. Someone who has a problem expressing themselves might be drawn to painters, writers or musicians.

Some individuals fall for persons who remind them of those who were kind and caring to them while growing up. Someone’s type could be persons who are similar to their kindergarten teacher or a neighbour who was like a loving guardian to them when their parents weren’t around.

There are people who tend to fall for those with similar beliefs and values to their own. To these people, similar beliefs and values are bigger turn-ons than looks and other characteristics.

So, a person might fall for let’s say, someone with tanned skin in a military uniform, a big brawny individual with a moustache, a natural masculine scent and a certain type of humour, a kind person with huge muscles, a wide smile and a shiny bald head, a Christian with a chiselled jaw-line and big hands, a person with a perfectly round behind and a pouty face who resembles a teacher from their early years or someone with light skin, long black hair and a wild laugh... I’m sure you got the idea.

In-Love Chemicals

Falling in love triggers the release of high amounts of certain chemicals by the brain and reproductive organs into the blood. In normal amounts, these chemicals are beneficial for physical, mental and emotional health, but when an individual is smitten with someone else, these chemicals are being released in high amounts, making them feel like they’re on a drug trip. Below are the in-love chemicals and how their surges affect love-stricken humans.

The in-love chemicals are as follows: dopamine, norepinephrine, adrenaline, phenylethylamine, testosterone and oestrogen. In high amounts, dopamine, the feel-good hormone, causes exhilaration and gives people extra energy. High levels of norepinephrine make people super alert and anxious and prone to over-thinking and worry. Surges of adrenaline, the fight or flight hormone, is what causes someone’s cheeks to feel flushed, palms to get sweaty and heart to race when they’re around someone they’re crushing on. Phenylethylamine in high amounts is responsible for the butterflies, and surges of testosterone and oestrogen cause feelings of lust.

I hope you fully understand that falling in love is not a miracle or Macumba or hoodoo. Keep this in mind and it will help you stay in control of yourself and carry on as you normally do.

If you’ve fallen in love and you’re angry about it, don’t get angry or blame the person you’re having these strong feeling for. Remember, it’s not their doing. It’s all you. Try not to be upset. You don’t have to let your feelings throw you off-course. In fact, you can enjoy the in-love feeling for as long as possible while keeping sane and going about life as usual. I’ll show you how to do this a little later on.

Falling in love is an exciting feeling, but with all that’s happening in your mind and body, it’s easy to also become quite delusional and irrational. If you do not keep perceptive and logical while you’re in love, it can cause you to do some really stupid sh*t. We’ll get into the How to Not Do Stupid Sh*t section of this book later on, but for now, here are the 14 signs that you’re smitten with someone else.

2

14 Signs Cupid Has

Shot You in the Butt

Falling in love is intense as hell, and many people who are in love feel as if they’re on a drug like no other. Falling in love however, is often confused with mere attraction. Just liking someone doesn’t mean you’ve fallen for them. If you’re wondering if you’re really smitten with someone, the following signs will let you know if you are or aren’t.

1. The world looks brighter and more vivid. The colours of the sky, water, land and animals seem to be on steroids.

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2. You’re feeling more adventurous and invincible. Fears you had before magically disappear and you tend to be riskier. You feel like you can take on the world.

3. You’re intensely curious about your crush. You might Google them, check out their social media accounts or ask them a couple hundred questions in one conversation.

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4. You want to do things to make them happy, impress them and draw them in. You sly creature, you...

5. You can’t stop thinking about the next date. So what if it falls on Grandma’s birthday?

6. You are inclined to sleep and eat less. This is because your serotonin drops. You’d need to make sure to sleep and eat well so you won’t drop.

7. Your libido skyrockets. Except for asexual people of course. You know what tends to happen when your libido goes through the roof. Just be safe and don’t do reckless crap.

8. You’re so high that stuff that pissed you off before no longer does. No, you didn’t become a saint overnight. No, your triggers and issues didn’t suddenly vanish. The chemicals surging through your blood are giving you such a high that you don’t want to fuss and fight like you used to. That annoying music from the ice-cream truck that used to make you want to kill everyone now makes you dance foolishly across the living room. Your family and friends might wonder if you were born