If He Doesn’T Come a Callin’: Practical Tips on Dating

By Charlene Sabb

If He Doesn't Come a Callin' is a dating self help book for women. It was created to help women avoid certain dating pitfalls. The book offers very candid and often humorous advice on dating for women who are serious about attempting to find a healthy, fruitful relationship.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 30, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456799038

Charlene Sabb

Charlene Sabb is a middle school teacher who enjoys providing relationship advice. Her desire to assist women in need of dating help was the motivation to write If He Doesn't Come a Callin'. The dating mistakes and mishaps that she and other women endured afforded her the experience and ability to speak directly from the mind to provide tangible, straightforward dating tips. She is the proud mother of one son. She is from New York City but currently resides in Raleigh, NC.

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If He Doesn’t Come a Callin’:

Practical Tips on Dating

Charlene Sabb

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AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2011 by Charlene Sabb. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 11/22/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4567-9905-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-9907-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-9903-8 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011915913

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

1 Sex on the First Date

2 Space and Avoiding Neediness

3 Time to Cook

4 Presentation Is Everything

5 Clean

6 Speak Up

7 Time to Meet the Family (His and Yours)

8 Reciprocate

9 Be Nice, Not a Doormat

10 Hunting Is Not for Ladies

11 Nagging… Not!

12 Do Not Give up the Dream

13 Can’t Buy Love

14 Change Is Bad

15 The Children under the Rug

16 Common Ground

17 Setting the Tone and the Standard

18 Don’t Be Pressed, Verbally or Non

19 Let’s Talk

20 Always Be a Lady

21 Flirt

22 Bedtime

23 Stamp of Approval

24 Reputation… Reputation

25 Handouts

26 Bad Attitude

27 Class

28 Funny Money

29 Between the Two of You

30 Jealousy

31 Venture Out

32 Demands, Demands

33 The Baby Game

34 Inclusion

35 Marry Me Please!

36 Down to Earth

37 Resilience

38 Wife Material

39 Industrious

40 Sensitivity

41 Intoxicated

42 Spendthrift

43 Coming Between

44 Breath and Britches

45 Leave the Past in the Past

46 When It’s Time to Let Go!

To My Family and Crew

This book is dedicated to all of the women desiring a stable, loving relationship. It is the result of some of the shortcomings that I have observed in others, as well as in myself. In many situations, I, along with many women who I know, have made costly errors in regards to the way we deal with men. The purpose of this book is not intended to be the solution to relationship woes, but it is meant to give women something to think about in regards to the way in which we deal with men, as many of the problems that we face with men are due to our own attitudes and actions. I wish all of the women who read this book the best of luck in obtaining the love that they want, need, and deserve.

-Charlene Sabb

1

Sex on the First Date

No! Ladies, don’t do it! Having sex with a man on the first date is a wonderful way to kill a relationship before it has the chance to get started. That’s not to say that a relationship can’t prosper after having sex on the first date, but it starts the relationship off to a very shallow and superficial start. We may even fool ourselves into believing shortly afterwards that we are in love, since the sexual act is such an intimate and personal act for most women. We take men into our bodies, and we tend to form emotional attachments to them very quickly and confuse love with lust.

For men, sex is not so deep! Sorry ladies! Their penis is literally and figuratively an extension of themselves. They can poke their appendages into many different holes and females without catching true feelings. Men can talk lines to make a woman feel empowered, beautiful, and in control, but if we succumb to their sexual desires and our own, they truly have the power. Ladies, do not fall victim to the gift of a man’s gab! Once we give into our sexual desires, we tend to become clouded by our emotions; we may really believe that we are in love, but we are confusing love with lust and sexual gratification.

I have often witnessed women lose all senses and control once a relationship has been consummated. Some of us get very clingy and overly caught up. We are extremely emotional creatures by nature; we cannot help it, as it is part of our genetic fiber. Conversely, a man does not have it in his repertoire, in general, to be a walking ball of emotions; it’s what makes them who they are. The differences between men and women are something that we must all recognize and accept. Knowing these grave differences, we must protect ourselves and our hearts. Jumping into bed too soon may actually cause some of us to lose our heads and hearts, especially if the relationship does not flourish or work out to our satisfaction. For many of us, the expectations have been raised, as we begin to want much more from a man once the sex has become a part of the relationship. We become very delusional, and in some cases, we heighten the relationship and make it into something that it is not. Sex can be very powerful for both men and women. In some cases, individuals, both male and female, can get too intertwined into the other person. It has been my observation that it is usually the female getting caught up and not the male. Some of us go crazy by calling him constantly, doing drive bys to check on his every move, or straight up stalking a man. All of these outrageous actions will assure that you will no longer have a relationship, and you will rightfully be exposed as the unstable, crazy person who you are; he will definitely stop calling you.

I have been there, and I have witnessed women of all walks of life, some even holding prestigious positions, absolutely lose their minds over some penis. What makes matters worse is when we have a tendency to equate great sex or sex in general with love. Do not fall victim by confusing sex with love. I cannot stress to you the importance of postponing any type of sexual act with a man until time has elapsed, and you are sure that he is the person who you truly want to be in a relationship with, and he has let you know that you are, in fact, the woman who he wants to be in an exclusive relationship with too. If you do not want to have a serious relationship and just want a casual, sexual relationship, you would not be reading this book. If