Kick the Jerk out of Your Life: Don’T Let Anyone Fool You Again!

By Liz Aimeé Hernández

This book does not talk about men who have taken their responsibility as parents and partners in a serious way. It does not talk about men who have loved sincerely and honestly. It does not talk about men committed to the feelings of their partners and determined not to make them suffer. It does not talk about men who cooperate and turn a relationship into a team. It does not talk about men who accept when they are wrong and do everything they can to make their relationships work. It does not talk about men who accept you as you are and value you for your feelings, not for the size of your butt or the amount in your bank account. It does not talk about hard-working men and good providers, who can separate their work from their personal life and balance the two. It does not talk about men who see their children as a blessing and get involved with them beyond a monthly alimony. It does not talk about men who are faithful and loyal, despite the pressure of their friends or the temptation of a beauty queen. It does not talk about honest men who accept when they are in love and defend that love without hesitation. No book needs to be written for them, but for their partners, so they know how to take care of them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: May 30, 2012
• ISBN: 9781466909250

Liz Aimeé Hernández

Liz Aimeé Hernández Fernández was born in Puerto Rico. She has a BA in Industrial Relations from the University of Puerto Rico and holds a Master's Degree in Psychology granted by the University of Phoenix. Liz became an entrepreneur at the young age of 24, and has also worked in modeling and public relations. In 2006 she joined the Armed Forces of the United States, in which she continues to serve. Liz uses her spare time to write and to study in order to obtain a Doctorate in Psychology with an emphasis in Counseling. She aims to become a couple and family therapist. Liz has two precious children: Javier Antonio, who is eight years old, and José Antonio, who is six.

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© Copyright 2010, 2012 Liz Aimeé Hernández.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

ISBN: 978-1-4669-0924-3(sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-0926-7(hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4669-0925-0(e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011963033

Trafford rev. 05/24/2012

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Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgment

Introduction

Chapter 1: What is a Jerk?

Chapter 2: The characteristics of jerks

Chapter 3: Why do jerks hurt us?

Chapter 4: Kick him!

Chapter 5: How to heal when a jerk has hurt us.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my sons Javier and José, with the desire that they would grow up with good values, being always men with morals and of their word. I also dedicate it to my former partners, who were one-hundred-percent jerks, who did not appreciate my qualities, and underestimated my love and dedication. I thank them because they inspired me to write this book and helped me to value and love myself more every day. Thanks to them I have discovered my strength, developed major projects, and achieved my goals.

Acknowledgment

I thank my mother for her support and help during the making of this book. Thanks to her dedication, this book is a reality.

Introduction

This book does not talk about men who have taken their responsibility as parents and partners in a serious way. It does not talk about men who have loved sincerely and honestly. It does not talk about men committed to the feelings of their partners and determined not to make them suffer. It does not talk about men who cooperate and turn a relationship into a team. It does not talk about men who accept when they are wrong and do everything they can to make their relationships work. It does not talk about men who accept you as you are and value you for your feelings, not for the size of your butt or the amount in your bank account. It does not talk about hard-working men and good providers, who can separate their work from their personal life and balance the two. It does not talk about men who see their children as a blessing and get involved with them beyond a monthly alimony. It does not talk about men who are faithful and loyal, despite the pressure of their friends or the temptation of a beauty queen. It does not talk about honest men who accept when they are in love and defend that love without hesitation. No book needs to be written for them, but for their partners, so they know how to take care of them.

We all want a man not a perfect man, because we know they don’t exist but we do want a man with high moral values. We want a man who does not make us suffer, but makes us happy. This is not impossible, although jerks think otherwise. Even in our world there are still good men, but they are very scarce, and you have to search very closely for them. And just as my mother says, the devil always strikes first. This book is not aimed at men, because they know very well what their role is.

Not all women are lucky enough to find a man that makes them happy; however, all of us, at some point, have run into some who have come to make us rather unhappy. These are not men: They are jerks. I must admit that I have been in love with some jerks, some bigger than others. I must also say that it took me some work and time to realize it, however, I discovered that there are many kinds of jerks in this world.

This book was thought of, written because of and dedicated exclusively to jerks. Above all, it is due to those jerks that are not easily distinguishable, because I think any woman who loves and values herself tries by all means to stay away from someone like that. Nobody wants to go stumbling and hurting herself. On the contrary, if someone desires this, she needs psychological help immediately. This book is dedicated to women who want to stop suffering and being wrong about jerks. It is aimed at women who want to heal their wounds, to find themselves, and be happy with someone who values them for what they are, that respects them in every moment and loves them unconditionally.

In this book I refer to those jerks in disguise that have their music inside, a pitiable look, and who play victims in pain to take advantage of our love for them. Those who know very well when and where to stage their plays, while you are totally unaware they are doing it. I speak about that kind of professional or in-progress jerk, good-looking, with his rightful and gentle appearance, that seems to be very focused and has well-laid plans for the future. At first glance it looks like the sky opened, thought about us, and dropped us an angel. We mistakenly believe we won the jackpot, and then we fall into the trap. Perhaps you looked for him, maybe he looked for you. Who cares? What you should care about is if this guy in front of you is more than the next jerk to try to play with your feelings.

There are some signs that they show us, because being a jerk shows up, even if they try hard to hide it. What happens is we do not see the signals they send us because we are blinded by being in love. As the Shakira song says, you turn brute, blind, deaf, clumsy, fretful and stubborn and do not take the advice others give you to get away from jerks. People around us, not being idiotic from love, can receive signals jerks send us.

Jerks, like serial killers, have a pattern; they may have an occasional difference, but most maintain the same characteristics and behavior. We just need to keep our eyes wide open and we will be able to spot their signals. And you will say, Yeah right, as if it were that easy to discover this. True, it is not that easy. I have fallen in love with some that I will call one-hundred-percent jerks and which have inspired me to write this book, to help you identify them and help you avoid the mistake of falling into their traps, as it happened to me.

Later I will show each of the definitions and characteristics of a jerk. You will be surprised at how many they have. Read them and analyze them carefully, so you are not deceived anymore. It is not necessary to end up in a therapist’s office waiting to be psychoanalyzed in order to understand why this jerk did not treat you like a lady. Have you ever had to call your best friend at two in the morning so she can listen to you as you repeat the same thing over and over, drowned in tears to the point that your poor friend can barely understand you? Have you seen yourself trying to mend the broken bits that remain of what once was your heart?

I want to help you identify the jerks, get away from them and, best of all, teach you to kick them out so they don’t play with you anymore.

You have not defeated me!

What a fool I have been!

I left everything to stay with you,

to fulfill hopes and dreams

you would not share with me!

What a fool I have been!

I gave everything I had and

put a halt to my dreams

to fly after yours, unfulfilled!

What a fool I have been!

I offered you all my love,

and from you, never,

nothing have I received!

What a fool I was!

What a fool I have been!

How much I believed you!

But listen very well:

You have not defeated me yet!

Liz Aimeé Hernández

Chapter 1: What is a Jerk?

When I came up with the idea to write this book, I knew exactly all the things that I disliked about my former partners. I was angry and hurt to acknowledge that someone to whom I had given all the best of me, did not value that action. These guys had fooled me and given me only crumbs of their love and time, while I had gone out of my way to make them happy. I asked myself again and again what had I done wrong and why this had happened to me. There were so many words to describe them, and yet I could not find the perfect one for the title of this book. I wanted to describe all their qualities in just one word, but, what word would that be? I thought I would never find it. I searched and searched . . . and finally, I found the perfect word: Jerk.

Jerk is a short word, and it even seems insignificant, but it is very accurate; it’s the perfect word! The dictionary defines the word jerk as uncouth and ordinary. Maybe you’re thinking, So? That tells me nothing! But if you continue searching, you will find out that the dictionary gives some synonyms for jerk: disloyal (acting without loyalty, love, faithfulness or honor.) Treacherous, with unpredictable reactions, more damaging than they seem. It describes a jerk as a scoundrel, rogue or rascal, who commits illegal acts to his advantage. It adds that a jerk is vile and despicable, and has bad habits. Evil, wicked, cunning, shrewd and difficult to govern. And the dictionary keeps saying: vile, one who does not or poorly corresponds to the confidence placed in him. He is perverse, intentionally causing damage; one who corrupts customs and the standard order of things. But above all, according to the dictionary, a jerk is a rogue, a low-life, a person of despicable and evil dealings. Perverted, of habits or sexual orientations that are considered socially disruptive and immoral. Irrational, without reason. Wild, foolish, stubborn and rude. Jerk also means vulgar, uneducated, beastly, ignorant, stupid, hard to take or annoying. Reckless, stubborn in what he does or says. A big talker, impertinent and bothersome to those who listen, who by negligence or malice tells everything he sees and hears; a braggart, bully and a liar. Unworthy, that is, below the quality and merit of someone. Rough, without doctrine or teaching. Vile, having no honor. Bummer, that talks a lot without substance, indiscreet, trickster. Villain, discourteous and rude, and many more; if I keep going this would be endless, because the word jerk has so many meanings and synonyms, that this book would not be enough to cover each of them. On the other hand, the dictionary does not mention that jerks are loving, discreet, loyal, faithful, honest, trustworthy and respectful men and, you know why? Because these are their antonyms, in other words, opposites of what jerks are. So, if they have so many negative features, why didn’t we realize sooner what a jerk they were? This is the question that we all ask ourselves when we break up with a jerk.

The answer is that jerks do not show their tricks a priori, because behind their appearance of perfection there is a strategy to benefit from us. Their goal is to increase their emotional, physical, financial or professional status, even as they hide their failure in their previous romantic relationships. They also play pretend to get someone to take care of them, to serve them, and incredibly, to hide their sexual preferences, their cunning and their tricks. There are many types of benefits they can obtain by keeping up appearances. Because there are different types of jerks, the benefits they are looking for will vary, and I will show you later the different cases.

No matter what the motives of the jerks are, that does not give them the right to use us. This is why Kick the Jerk out of Your Life will serve you as a guide to identify them, kick them out of your life and stop them from using you again. So go ahead: Learn to kick the jerk out of your life . . . forever!

Chapter 2: The characteristics of jerks

In order to prevent something from hurting us we first need to know exactly what we are facing, as in the case of toxic substances. Toxic substances are around us, everywhere, in our home, at work, in entertainment places, etc. There are different types of toxic substances, with different brands, prices and uses, however all are extremely