Loving to Communicate: Avoid Misunderstandings and Develop Stronger Relationships

By Daniel Louis

LOVING to COMMUNICATE

Avoid Misunderstandings and Develop Stronger Relationships

 

Daniel Louis

 

Discover the secrets to effective communication and connection in all areas of your life, from personal to professional...

 

We all want to be understood by others.

 

Whether you're in the workplace, at home, or out and about, being able to communicate what you're thinking is an essential skill to have.

 

After all, we've all experienced the frustration of being misunderstood or having our words twisted.

 

How often have you found yourself in the middle of a conflict that could have been avoided with the right communication? Or been forced to deal with issues that arose from a lack of understanding?

 

Communication is about more than simply speaking your mind.

 

To effectively convey what you're feeling and thinking takes skill and requires effort — no one is born knowing how to be the perfect communicator.

 

While it might seem like some people are naturally gifted at getting their ideas across, the truth is that they learned how to do so.

 

What does that mean for you?

 

It means that you're capable of becoming a person who speaks their mind clearly and honestly, and is able to connect deeply with others.

 

You can become a master communicator, even if you find yourself often feeling tongue-tied and hesitant.

 

 

In LOVING to COMMUNICATE, here is just a fraction of what you will discover:

 

Practical, tried and true techniques that will transform the way you communicate with others

 

The critical communication mistakes you may be making without even realizing it

 

Simple and effective tips for managing conflict without escalating to fights and confrontation

 

Essential questions you should ask yourself before embarking on a new relationship

 

The four communication styles and how identifying your own tendencies can strengthen your connection to others

 

Warning signs that your relationships may be suffering from a lack of clear communication and what to do about it

 

Why emotional maturity is essential to effective communication with your partner, family, and colleagues, and practical methods to improve it

 

How to argue the right way, apologize effectively, and avoid miscommunication and misunderstandings

 

And much more.

 

Relationships take work to maintain, and your time and effort is hugely valuable.

 

Putting in the work to strengthen your bonds with others can seem daunting at first, but you don't have to worry about where to start.

 

With this simple guide, you'll find tools that will allow for better communication, transforming your relationships to be more loving and harmonious.

 

(Ebook length:150 pages)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Innovate Books
• Release date: Mar 16, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201237059

Book preview

Introduction

Chapter 1: Communication

Chapter 2: Good Communication and Entering in to a Relationship

Chapter 3: What Prevents Good Communication?

Chapter 4: Relationships and Gender

Chapter 5: Understanding Your Partner and Their Needs

Chapter 6: Communication Techniques

Chapter 7: Attachment Styles

Chapter 8: Miscommunications and How to Avoid Them

Chapter 9: I Was Wrong

Chapter 10: Commitment

Conclusion

References

Introduction

Throughout my adult life, I've become more and more aware of the importance of communication - not only in my relationships and of those around me - but in my life, work study and as a member of my community. Good communication makes a huge difference to the quality of our lives and relationships with those we live with, work with, and interact with daily. As I became more and more interested in the dynamics of how humans relate and interact, I began to notice the results of positive, effective communication in contrast with poor communication between people.

In this book, I will focus mainly on communication within personal and intimate relationships. However, many of the topics, techniques, and understanding discussed here can also apply to wider relationships. It took me many years to better understand the importance of good communication or realize that a lack of good communication was often the main source of problems in my relationships or those of friends, family, and other couples I knew. 

As I studied the causes of many relational issues, I discovered and understood more about the problems communication or lack thereof could cause and how common those were in so many couple relationships. It soon became clear that communication and the quality of a relationship were interconnected in numerous ways.

I spoke to many friends and couples who individually disclosed that they had no idea what their partner thought or felt concerning varying topics. As a result, it created a void or had  already destroyed the relationship and resulted in divorce or separation. 

This was a tragedy, and I wanted to understand why these issues were so common in society. What were the causes of these communication breakdowns, and what could be done to improve our understanding so solutions could be found?  My studies pointed to one truth; everybody yearns for connection, and fulfilling relationships depend on effective communication skills.

Why? Well, animals are, by nature, social creatures – human animals in particular. From the time of our births, we bond with others, grow from others, and get the most out of our lives by being with others. We were designed to live in communities, to be relational beings. I believe God designed us that way because we function better within a team. We all have different strengths, weaknesses and abilities, and skills. We benefit greatly from these facets when we are united, share our lives, and help each other.

The 17th century English poet, John Donne, wrote: 

"No man is an island,

Entire of itself,

Every man is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main."

He was writing about humanity as a whole being interconnected by God, its creator, and how we are designed by nature to be better off united than as isolated individuals.

Thus, if we are unable to communicate effectively with the people around us, to become united, we feel pressured and incomplete

While it is true that you don’t need constant fulfillment in this facet (constant company or parties every night etc.), it is a simple truth of nature that we all need to feel a connection to others.

Through communication, we build these unifying relationships. That is not the endpoint, however...not by far. While eventually creating and building relationships is wonderful, the key (that many people overlook) is that relationships are dynamic. They are constantly changing and evolving, and only through proper and constant communication can we keep up with this evolution. 

The Double-Edged Sword of Relationships

As someone who has found myself single for some extended periods of my life, I understand fully the desperation and pressure that arises from friends, family, and loved ones when you lack an intimate relationship. We, as a society, put an unnecessary amount of weight on being with others. When you are alone for too long, you can be seen as weird, obsolete, or odd. 

And yet, something I realized once I found a relationship to latch onto (a romantic one, that is) was that simply entering a relationship does not immediately eliminate all of the questions and the self-doubt you had before the relationship began. Most of those issues are something you need to learn to cope with before taking on the challenge of an intimate relationship.

Moreover, simply entering a relationship and counting that as a full success is dangerous in itself. Relationships take work to grow and maintain. It is no surprise that ...the actual percentage of marriages that end in divorce in the US varies between 40% and 50% (Vuleta, 2021).

Of course, there is more than enough doom and gloom to go around for one sitting. If you are willing to put in the work, resolve your issues early on, and strengthen your relationship daily, the benefits of a happy and healthy relationship easily outweigh the periods of negativity. And here’s another tidbit: every relationship goes through bumps and hurdles. That’s the nature of life. Anyone looking for a perfect relationship where they do not need to put in any work is fooling themself and their partner. Every problem is an obstacle to overcome.

What this Book Is (and What it Isn’t!)

Simply put, this book is designed to help you better understand the ins and outs of communication. Along the way, we will take you through a self-evaluation process to determine areas you may be lacking and provide methods for improvement. An important note early on is to throw your ego away. We can all use improvements in our various relationships, whether with your husband, wife, spouse, mum, dad, child, or cat. 

This reference is not a glossary for all the issues you may have with your partner. Instead, this book focuses on the communication aspects that are common in relationships. If your issues go beyond this and into the level of abuse (sexual, physical, verbal, etc.), immediately seek help beyond this resource. Those are serious issues that need to be resolved by professionals. 

You may notice that some of the topics discussed in this book may initially seem not to be communication-related or veer into the area of good relationship advice. However, it is important to realize that the best approach to successful relationships and results cannot be achieved without good communication and vice versa. One cannot be without the other!

I'm also guessing at this point you might be thinking that it's all well and good for one party in a relationship to be willing to learn and self-improve, but what benefit is that if it's only one-sided. Your partner isn't as interested in doing the same or to the same degree as you might be? After all, you've bought this book which just shows how important a better understanding is to you. Ideally, of course, the best scenario would be that both of you have the same level of interest in change and take this journey together. Of course, it's not a perfect world, so that might not always be the way things happen.

My advice would be not to let this put you off from going forward. An important and exciting aspect of this book is understanding how you are almost guaranteed to see your work reflected in your partner. If you are willing to put in the effort and time, you may be surprised to see your partner or child doing the same thing in response. Relationships are all two-way streets, and thus your partner will recognize that they need to up their end of the bargain to keep up with your self-improvement. 

Lastly, this book is valuable because it should be seen as a holistic guide for all relationships. While the West’s definition of a relationship is usually categorized as a lover or spouse, this book aims to give advice that can be helpful to all relationships. Whether with a significant other, a child, or a co-worker, improving all of our relationships through improved communication is the end goal. 

View this book as a helpful guide and friend to help take you and your relationship to a happier, healthier, and more enjoyable place. 

I can’t wait to begin, and I thank all of you for coming along on this journey toward self-improvement. 

Now, are you ready to get your relationship on track?

Chapter 1: Communication

You and your partner are driving to dinner, and a song comes on the car radio that has special meaning to both of you from the time you first met. Your partner looks over and nudges you on the arm and smiles. You respond by smiling back, and you both nod along to the words without saying anything to each other, not wanting to interrupt the moment.

Thats it! you just successfully communicated and connected without actually speaking words. You both wanted to give and receive affirmation and reassurance from one another that each is still important and loved by remembering a special shared moment that symbolized the start of your relationship. 

Too often, we as a society and planet consider communication simply the words written on a page, spoken aloud, or stated in the fine print. In reality, communication is any sort of action or spoken word that conveys information. A head nod? Communication. Sign language? Communication. A finger point? Communication. Whether conveyed verbally or nonverbally, communication is one of the single most important aspects of any relationship. 

Why? Because for something that we spend so much of our time doing, it is appalling how often we do not understand one another. Miscommunication, an offshoot of classic communication, is one of the biggest issues that cause divisions in relationships.

Learning to communicate effectively and accurately with your partner is paramount in building any relationship. A relationship built on miscommunication is destined to lead to fights, anger, and hostility. 

In this chapter, we will focus on communication in three specific, important lights: 

We will find out what it is.

We will ask, why do we need it? 

We will figure out how it can help us.

Though it may seem simple on paper, the power of effective