Summary of Susan Forward & Donna Frazier Glynn's Mothers Who Can't Love

By IRB Media

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.

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#1 The mother myth is so strong that if your mother was unloving, you’ll inevitably run into a wall of resistance from external forces that defend her. You may be met with skepticism, sharp criticism, and counterproductive advice.

#2 The pain of having an unloving mother is intensely lonely and isolating. It is common for even a well-meaning friend or relative to discount an unloved daughter’s pain or blame her when she looks for sympathy.

#3 The great common denominator among women with unloving mothers is the desire for validation. They all want to find someone who will say, Yes, what you experienced really happened. Yes, your feelings are justified. I understand.

#4 The grin and bear it approach to your mother’s behavior keeps the peace, but it’s a form of paralysis brought on by shame and fear. You fear the consequences of admitting your mother is unloving, and you can’t change that relationship, so you just have to live with it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: IRB Media
• Release date: Mar 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669366737

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Insights on Susan Forward & Donna Frazier Glynn's Mother's Who Can't Love

Contents

Insights from Chapter 1

Insights from Chapter 2

Insights from Chapter 1

#1

The mother myth is so strong that if your mother was unloving, you’ll inevitably run into a wall of resistance from external forces that defend her. You may be met with skepticism, sharp criticism, and counterproductive advice.

#2

The pain of having an unloving mother is intensely lonely and isolating. It is common for even a well-meaning friend or relative to discount an unloved daughter’s pain or blame her when she looks for sympathy.

#3

The great common denominator among women with unloving mothers is the desire for validation. They all want to find someone who will say, Yes, what you experienced really happened. Yes, your feelings are justified. I understand.

#4

The grin and bear it approach to your mother’s behavior keeps the peace, but it’s a form of paralysis brought on by shame and fear. You fear the consequences of admitting your mother is unloving, and you can’t change that relationship, so you just have to live with it.

#5

Daughters of unloving mothers often can say: My mother is depressed, My mother is incredibly self-absorbed, and My mother is driving me crazy. They may also say My mother is an alcoholic, My mother was verbally abusive, and still is, or My mother is a bitch.

#6

There are five types of unloving mothers: the severely narcissistic mother, the overly enmeshed mother, the cold mother, the neglected mother, and the overly critical mother. The mothers in this half of the book fall into the first three categories.

#7

The Control Freak mother makes her needs, wants, and demands clear, and she will punish her daughter if she tries to honor a different agenda. The Moth Mother neglects, betrays, and batters her daughter.

#8

The mother wound is the most powerful source of unloving behavior. It is the result of a girl’s experience with an unloving mother, and it leads to high tolerance for mistreatment and people-pleasing.

#9

The term narcissistic is often used to describe someone with self-adoration, like