Summary of Sharon Salzberg & Robert Thurman's Love Your Enemies

By IRB Media

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.

Book Preview:

#1 There is no way to know what parenting is like until you do it. Whatever thoughts you may have had about becoming a parent, bringing that first child home is a jolt. The only guarantee is that raising your child will be more difficult and rewarding than you could have ever expected.

#2 The two parental orientations are warm-friendly and demanding-firm. They are not contradictory, and they should not be treated as such. Parents should expect good behavior from their kids, and they should like and love them.

#3 Effective parents are warm and friendly on the one hand, but also demanding and firm on the other. Both orientations are critical to raising emotionally intelligent and mature kids.

#4 There are two types of parenting styles: automatic and deliberate. Automatic parenting includes the things you do without really thinking, such as comforting a sobbing two-year-old who has just fallen down. Deliberate parenting, on the other hand, involves the things you do with careful thought and consideration.

• Language: English
• Publisher: IRB Media
• Release date: Feb 21, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669350132

IRB Media

With IRB books, you can get the key takeaways and analysis of a book in 15 minutes. We read every chapter, identify the key takeaways and analyze them for your convenience.

Book preview

Insights on Thomas Phelan's 123 Magic

Contents

Insights from Chapter 1

Insights from Chapter 2

Insights from Chapter 3

Insights from Chapter 4

Insights from Chapter 5

Insights from Chapter 6

Insights from Chapter 7

Insights from Chapter 1

#1

There is no way to know what parenting is like until you do it. Whatever thoughts you may have had about becoming a parent, bringing that first child home is a jolt. The only guarantee is that raising your child will be more difficult and rewarding than you could have ever expected.

#2

The two parental orientations are warm-friendly and demanding-firm. They are not contradictory, and they should not be treated as such. Parents should expect good behavior from their kids, and they should like and love them.

#3

Effective parents are warm and friendly on the one hand, but also demanding and firm on the other. Both orientations are critical to raising emotionally intelligent and mature kids.

#4

There are two types of parenting styles: automatic and deliberate. Automatic parenting includes the things you do without really thinking, such as comforting a sobbing two-year-old who has just fallen down. Deliberate parenting, on the other hand, involves the things you do with careful thought and consideration.

#5

There are three separate parenting jobs that require different strategies. The first two involve discipline and behavior concerns, while the third focuses on the parent-child relationship.

#6

When it comes to discipline, children present two basic problems for adults: doing something negative we want them to Stop, and not doing something positive we would like them to Start.

#7

Parents should control their children’s obnoxious behavior, or Stop behavior. This includes frequent, minor, everyday issues, such as whining, disrespect, tantrums, arguing, and so on.

#8

The second parenting job is to encourage your children’s positive behavior, or Start behavior. Start behavior includes positive activities like cleaning rooms, doing homework, practicing the piano, getting up and out in the morning, going to bed, eating supper, and being nice to other people.

#9

When dealing with a behavioral problem, you must first determine if you have a Stop or a Start behavior problem. If you have a Stop problem, counting is an easy way to get your child to stop the behavior. But if you have a Start problem, you will need to use more sophisticated tactics.

#10

Your final parenting job is to strengthen your relationship with your kids. This means making sure that