Sex for Adolescents

By Dr. S. K. Sharma

The book has been written with the purpose to educate our boys and girls entering their teenage on proper and relevant sex education so that they are Forewarned and Forearmed. It not only deals with the physical aspect but also emotional and psychological aspects of sex in their threadbare analysis. It also enlightens about the role of Parents in sex education.
It is our belief that after going through this book, the readers will, no doubt, stand to gain first-hand requisite knowledge.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Diamond Books
• Release date: Dec 7, 2021
• ISBN: 9788128830273

Book preview

1

What is Sex?

The term ‘SEX’ refers to differentiate between male and female, an animal or a plant or the quality of being a male or female. It is now commonly used in the form of coital sex where two persons of opposite sex cohabitate. The words used after the term ‘Sex’ clearly denote the purpose and end for which this word is employed. For instance we often hear, read, and use the following terms.

Sex-Appeal: Attraction of one gent or a lady or vice versa to another.

Sex-determination: Where it is determined whether a human being is male or female.

Sexlessness: Whether either sex has no sex appeal or capacity to attract another person.

Sexy: A person who is profusely attractive to attract the other sex.

Sexuality: The element of sex intensity.

Sex Indulgent: Person who quite often indulges in sex act(s).

Sex Recluse: Person who takes no interest in sex.

Sexualism: The term refers to emphasis on sex or attribution of sex.

Sex-cell: Sperm or an egg-cell.

Sexual Selection: When a choice is made to select a partner of opposite sex.

Sex-bias: Term is commonly used to denote a feeling of hatred, prejudice towards women.

Sex-abuse: When a minor is enticed to enter into coitus or when an elder member has, per force, sex with another person.

Sex-Pervert: A person who indulges in such sex acts which are generally not permitted in a given social order.

The fact of the matter is that a person will search for and try to possess what he/she doesn’t have. For instance, a boy may be surprised to see no beard on the face of a girl (though there are good many exceptions also) and a girl may wonder as to why she has no beard on her face. The boys do not have bulgeoning or raised breasts whereas it is a sign of feminity. These changes indicate physical changes in a member of one sex.

There is no feeling of sex in infancy and childhood; hence the little ones do not get attracted towards each other. This is the reason why there is no sex between the two sexes at this stage of life the child may be surprised to watch his parents in compromising position, kissing and hugging each other, but these are merely startling episodes which do not, generally, generate any reaction but an element of grand surprise always exists. Male child may find more satisfaction when fondled by his mother, and little girl may feel more satisfied and happier when attended to by her father. Prof Freud was of the view that a mother is far happier when she breast-feeds her male child than the female child - the reason being that she sees her husband’s image in her male offspring. Girls are far happier in the company of for male members and vice versa. Intrinsic feeling of satisfaction in the arms and care of an elder person of opposite sex is the starting point from where later feelings of sex emanate. It is a human tendency, if not an urge, to pine for what one doesn’t have. This feeling, when it extends to pubic age, forms the core factor in sex-attraction.

Masters and Johnson should be credited with the grand research they have carried out in the field of sex. Hereunder I quote verbatim what they have written about sex.

One would certainly think that there could be no doubt about what is to be understood by the term sexual. First and foremost, of course, it means the improper, that which must not be mentioned. (Freud, 1943, p.266)

Sex is not a mere physiological transaction to the primitive South Sea Islander any more than it is to us; it implies love and love-making; it becomes the nucleus of such venerable institutions as marriage and the family; it pervades art and it produces its spells and its magic. It dominates in fact almost every aspect of culture. Sex, in its widest meaning … is rather a sociological and cultural force than a mere bodily relation of two individuals. (Malinowski, 1929, p.xxiii)

Francie, you bloody fucker, I used to say, you’ve got the morals of a clam. But you like me, don’t you? she’s answer. Men like to fuck, and so do women. It doesn’t harm anybody and it doesn’t mean you have to love everyone you fuck, does it? (Miller, 1961, p.262)"

What is sexuality? As shown by the quotes above, there is no simple answer to this question. Freud saw sex as a powerful psychological and biological force, while Malinowski emphasized its sociological and cultural dimensions. Henry Miller used frank portrayals of sex in his novels to make a philosophical statement about the human condition. In everyday life, the word sex is often used to mean male or female (biological gender) or to refer to physical activity involving the genitals (having sex). The word sexuality generally has a broader meaning since it refers to all aspects of being sexual. Sexuality means a dimension of personality instead of referring to a person’s capacity for erotic response alone.

"Unfortunately, our language for talking about sex and sexuality is very limited. We may distinguish between sex acts (such as masturbation, kissing, or sexual intercourse) and sexual behaviour (which includes not only specific sex acts but being flirtatious, dressing in certain ways, reading Playbody, or dating) without having yet scratched the surface of sexuality. We may describe different types of sex as procreational (for having children), recreational (for having fun, with no other goal), or relational (for sharing with a cared-for person), and find that our categories are still too few. While we cannot fully answer the question What is sexuality?, we can briefly introduce the dimensions of sexuality that are the subject of this book."

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2

Sex in Ancient and Modern Times

General View

When we hear about rape, child abuse, incest etc we feel, in heart of hearts, that such sordid and deplorable events should not have occurred had we properly educated our children about sex. Ours is a traditional society bound with and prisoned by age old inhibitions, taboos, restrictive social and family order, where even the mention of word ‘sex’ is looked upon as a sin, where girls and boys do not mix up freely or if, at all, they meet, they meet only at such places where they cannot be spotted. Even now, there are many families where girls are not allowed to move out of their homes, except when they are accompanied by senior female members, brother or father. Whatever deviations exist in West, do exist in our country also, though in a very limited and veiled form only.

Parents are not receptive or sensitive to the sex education of their children, nor the teaching community is playing any role. In many cases even parents and other elders are themselves not fully equipped, well informed, educated and enlightened to impart sex education to their wards. There eye-brows go high up when sex ‘crime’ (!) is committed by any one of their children or when their girls are raped, Coerced into sex, incested and impregnated.

Curiosity about the secrets of opposite sex is a natural urge - a sort of innate inquisitiveness to unravel the ‘mysteries’ and ‘Secrets’ as to how and in what way a boy differs from a girl or a girl from a boy, or how is it that even a simple reference to sex is considered as a sin.

When there is hairy growth on a youngman’s beard, appearance of breasts, hardening of Nipples, onset of menses, penile erection and seminal discharge in boys, the adolescents are bound to get surprised and confused. It is said that Puberty is the most trying period.

"A major obstacle to understanding sexuality is (the) realizing (that) we are prisoners of Societal attitudes towards sex" (Bullough).

We are decidedly bound by the social and family legacies on from one generation to another and some of the in-built and inherited sex concepts cannot be easily scathed and wished away. But, in reality, our modern views on sex drastically and potently differ from our past patterns. But, the million dollar question remains have we changed our mental attitude and thinking on sex - more importantly about rightly educating our younger generation? Incest and prostitution have been in vogue since the times immemorial and there is nothing new or surprising though there was hardly any social sanction on such sexual deviations.

In Judaism, an interplay of sexual altitudes was present. In the Jewish laws, there exist rules about social conduct, where adultery is not accepted and homosexual acts are scorued at and, thus, forbidden. But, all the same, sex is fully recognized as a pleasurable and creative force. Sex was never taken as an inherent evil nor was it restricted. In ancient Greek, there was social acceptance of homosexuality between an elderly person and an adolescent, but homosexual acts between two adult males were looked at with contempt and two adult males were looked at with contempt. Woman was considered as a machine to produce children, an exclusive male property and a second grade person.

Christianity postulated a high ideal of celibacy (Bralmacharya) but St. Paul opined that It is good for a man not to touch a woman, it is better to marry than to burn which statement was a moderated version of and deviation from earlier beliefs and preachings. St. Augustine renounces worldly ways and