What is the bisexual double-standard? How does erasure affect bisexuals? And how does bisexuality work in the Swing Lifestyle? Angelique and John join Jess to discuss their experiences as a bisexual couple.

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Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

A Bisexual Couple’s Story

Participant #1:
Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I'm Jess O'Reilly, your friendly neighborhood sexologist. And today we are going to be talking about bisexuality, the double standards, the erasure and the myths. Before we get started, let me shout out to our sponsor, Desire Resorts, an all inclusive, clothing optional couple's paradise with two locations on the Mayan Riviera. Be sure to check them out at Desire Resorts on social media. Joining me today is Angelique Luna, a certified King aware professional relationship and sex coach, educator, entertainer and sexual abuse advocate, as well as her partner, John, who was an entrepreneur, author, professional educator and software developer. Welcome to the program. How's it going? Hello. Yeah. Happy to be here. Glad you're here now. September 23 is Bisexual Awareness Day. So our timing is perfect. I thought we could jump in just starting with some definitions. So what does it mean to be bisexual? From your perspective, that's a good question, because lately the word coming up pan sexual is what I hear a lot, and they're very close, but different. But to us, bisexual means we're attracted to both men and women. Personally, I go by bisexual because it's more well understood than trying to understand pansexual, but it doesn't mean I'm not included. I'm not attracted to transgender. And again, other sexes. Okay. And do you both identify as bisexual? Yes, we do. We do have child, too, which surprised us when she's like, okay, I'm bi. I'm like, what the heck? Well, it's interesting because the data around bisexuality is on the rise. So more people are identifying as bisexual, and there are differences by gender, with more women reporting same sex contact than men. There are differences by race as well. So, for example, in the United States, fewer Hispanic women report being bisexual than white women and fewer black women than white women as well. Although the number is closer. But the latest research that looked at over 9000 people aged 18 to 44 and asked them about their sexual experiences, their attraction and how they identify found that this trend stood out. And this is why the headlines ring out. People love a headline that says bisexuality, even if they don't dig a bit deeper. But more women reported having had sexual contact with other women than in previous years, 17.4% in the current survey, compared with 14.2% in the 2006 to 2010 survey, and more women and men identified as bisexual, five 5% of women and 2% of men, compared with three 9% of women and one 2% of men in the last survey. So what do you think about this trend? I think the younger generation is they're fighting everything possible that they're getting to the point that they just don't care. They'd rather be their authentic self than fitting into a mold. And we're seeing that a lot with kids in high school and even the I don't know if the millennials would be that, but the younger, like 20 to 25 crew. They are much more confident in themselves, and we're raising them to have a lot more self awareness. I also see a lot of men and women in their 40s now who have either married or divorced and starting to rethink their sexuality.