The Atlantic

Letters: ‘Parenting Is Hard. We All Do Our Best.’

Parents of trans children respond to <em>The Atlantic</em>’s July/August cover story.
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When Children Say They’re Trans

In The Atlantic’s July/August issue, Jesse Singal reported on the choices facing the parents of children who say they’re trans. “The current era of gender-identity awareness has undoubtedly made life easier for many young people who feel constricted by the sometimes-oppressive nature of gender expectations,” Singal wrote. “But when it comes to the question of physical interventions, this era has also brought fraught new challenges to many parents. ... How can they help their children gain access to the support and medical help they might need, while also keeping in mind that adolescence is, by definition, a time of fevered identity exploration?”


I write to you, Mr. Singal, as someone who previously dismissed my child when he said he “feels like a boy in my heart and in my mind” at the age of five, when I convinced myself that he was just bending gender norms. I write to you as someone who had to face that her child was self-harming at the tender age of eight. I write to you as a mother of a transgender son: This piece penned by you is highly problematic. It muddies the water

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