Transformation for Trauma
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Cassaundra Davis-Bunkley -"Transformation for Trauma" - takes the reader on a journey "into the inner process" of recovery from the emotional darkness, despair and feelings of hopelessness that accompany traumatic experiences. Utilizing personal experiences, professional knowledge and spiritual insights she draws the reader into a place of personal reflection and self-discovery. The butterfly, a familiar insect admired for its beauty and gracefulness forms the basis of this detailed writing. She uses its stages of growth to demonstrate that though slow the process maybe -a life worth living and sharing can emerge. It is an unfolding that she calls an exchange. Cassaundra provides the reader with hope and reassurance that gradually- within the midst of hurt- personal insights and revelations with a cutting away of that which hinders recovery will surface giving way to healing and freedom from the devastation and debilitating condition bought on by trauma. A timely book!
- Annie B. Wilder, Ph.D.
Author, Clinical Christian Counselor, Pastor, Educator
Cassaundra Davis-Bunkley
Cassaundra Davis-Bunkley is an ordained minister, social worker, and presenter within the United States on biblical topics. She has two master’s degrees from the UCONN School of Social Work and Yale Divinity School. In addition, she has a doctor of ministry degree from Friends International Christian University. Cassaundra is passionate about teaching individuals how to live life to the fullest and walk in their God-ordained purpose and destiny. Cassaundra was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, and currently resides in Connecticut. She is the mother of six adult children and a grandmother of thirteen grandchildren.
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Transformation for Trauma - Cassaundra Davis-Bunkley
Copyright © 2013 by Cassaundra Davis-Bunkley.
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013914765
ISBN: Hardcover 978-1-4836-8527-4
Softcover 978-1-4836-8526-7
Ebook 978-1-4836-8528-1
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
Rev. date: 10/11/2013
To order additional copies of this book, contact:
Xlibris LLC
1-888-795-4274
www.Xlibris.com
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134659
CONTENTS
Acknowledgment
Review
Prologue
I. BEGINNINGS
Once Upon a Time
Void without Form
Finding Ourselves There
Back to the Basics
II. TRANSITIONS
The Two Sides of the Same Coin
The In-Between
Restful Soul
Dwelling in Secret
Exhale: Letting Go
Change Agents (Part I)
Change Agents (Part II)
The Exchange
III. New Beginnings
Coming Out (Awakening)
Became: Above and Beyond
Mind the Change
References
To my mother,
Henrietta Davis,
and in memory of my niece,
Erica.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
I want to thank my mother, my champion and hero. You taught me the power of forgiveness. My six children, you are my inspiration; each of you has been instrumental in assisting me to complete this book. To my siblings, your perseverance gave me the courage to write the book.
Audrey and Marie, you have been with me through numerous transformations, including the best, good, and bad times.
To Toni, a special thanks to you for taking the time to edit the book more than once and sitting with me through aspects of finalizing the book. To Stephane, thank you for being my sounding board and giving me excellent reasons to complete the book. To Charlette, thank you for encouraging me during your own time of adversity. Mother Ralls, thank you for celebrating me.
The women from the Gathering,
you provoked me to be transparent in my writing.
Dr. Annie Wilder, a special thanks for taking time from your schedule and writing the review.
I salute all of you who have experienced life-altering events but have not allowed your trauma to define you. Thank you for being an example, a smile, a hand, and a heart to individuals who thought they could not make it.
Most importantly, I am deeply grateful to my Heavenly Daddy for giving me the grace and fortitude to remain focused on the journey. The Holy Spirit truly showed Himself as the Parakletos, one who comes alongside to help.
REVIEW
Cassaundra Davis-Bunkley –Transformation for Trauma
– takes the reader on a journey into the inner process
of recovery from the emotional darkness, despair and feelings of hopelessness that accompany traumatic experiences. Utilizing personal experiences, professional knowledge and spiritual insights she draws the reader into a place of personal reflection and self-discovery. The butterfly, a familiar insect admired for its beauty and gracefulness forms the basis of this detailed writing. She uses its stages of growth to demonstrate that though slow the process maybe –a life worth living and sharing can emerge. It is an unfolding that she calls an exchange.
Cassaundra provides the reader with hope and reassurance that gradually— within the midst of hurt– personal insights and revelations with a cutting away of that which hinders recovery will surface giving way to healing and freedom from the devastation and debilitating condition bought on by trauma. A timely book!
—Annie B. Wilder, Ph.D.
Author, Clinical Christian Counselor, Pastor, Educator
PROLOGUE
In 2005, I seriously contemplated writing my book after being in a place of bewilderment, pain, and uncertainty. I had been separated from my husband of twenty-nine years for approximately two years, and was in the process of filing for a divorce. During this same time, I was suffering from a debilitating disease. I had been in my current church for fourteen years, and although I was still connected, I was detached.
By July 2006, I was divorced, unchurched, and given a bad report about my health. I began my journey of writing my book, pondering my experiences, biblical knowledge, and the poetic expressions that at times were put on paper.
During the period of 2005 to 2010, I continuously put my thoughts down on paper, which were at times disjointed and yet revelatory at the same time. In 2010, I began writing my book out of the anointing, creativity, my own struggles and praise for what my Heavenly Father was doing.
In 2011, I became stuck as I approached the second section of the book. I was frustrated by the fact that I could not proceed. From my perspective, my writing was ingenious, necessary, and definitely ministry for others. My Heavenly Father gently began to deal with me about surrender, and then something unexpected happened. I found the need to dismantle the book little by little, and God allowed me to see that some of my writing was laced with the stench of pseudosecurities, religious rhetoric, and fluff. God was still doing ministry in me and calling me to be authentic with Him, myself, and others. I was now ready to write from His heart and not from what I just perceive to be in my heart.
As I was in the process of revamping the book, I came to understand that letting go was essential to my transformation for trauma. The concept of letting go was not a foreign term to me as I had recited over and over that well-known adage, Let go and let God
; mastering anything in life is the art of conquering, taming, or having dominion over something. I thought I had mastered this thing we call surrender as I sat in church numerous times, singing that famous hymn I Surrender All.
So what was God trying to teach me at the end of 2011, going into 2012? I meditated on this concept called surrender and questioned my own sincerity to let go. I wondered, Did I replace surrendering to Him for an insatiable need to be in control? I unconsciously believed that I could prevent all forms of disappointment, disillusionment, and devastation from ever invading my life again. I was reminded that trauma on a very simple level can come just by virtue of living in this world with all its challenges. Life happens without our permission, input, or approval. Trauma sucks!
Julian Ford, a psychologist at the University of Connecticut, defines trauma as a real or perceived threat to the survival of an individual, a support system or a larger community or culture. Trauma leads to changes in the brain, nervous system and related areas of the body that are essential to survival, but potentially detrimental to the ongoing self and spiritual development, engagement in relationships and the productive involvement in learning and work.
Trauma comes at different levels, and we all deal with trauma in our own way. Some of us bounce back quickly and use it as a foundation to be victorious. Others have a more difficult time, and it may take many years to embrace the healing that God has made available. Nevertheless, we all can attest to the fact that we do not enjoy trauma or want to deal with the pain and repercussion of trauma.
Out of trauma is birthed a desperation to control our lives, the environments that we are placed in, and even our relationships. We are in a state of vulnerability, and trusting anyone or anything is not an option, so we think.
Trauma is that which shatters our categories of perception; categories are a set of things that determine how we see and act upon the world. What we know to be true is now tested and challenged. Both fear and doubt creep in, and our categories of God, ourselves, and others are altered by the trauma. Eventually, our fears and doubts take root and are deeply embedded.
This book is not intended to deal with trauma as it relates to the diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or purport that I am an expert on trauma. The working (operational) definition of the word trauma for the purpose of the book is an event or situation that causes great distress and disruption in one’s life.
My writing emerges out of a spiritual and psychological perspective with poetic overtones.