The Tears of a mother

By Eva Nabunya

This book is a chronicle of my thoughts and feelings, a narrative of what I have experienced on my journey to motherhood.

There is nothing as tragic as the loss of a baby, more so the loss of many babies. When I lost them, I lost pieces of

• Language: English
• Publisher: I am Eva Nabunya
• Release date: Nov 12, 2021
• ISBN: 9781739966911

Book preview

Tears of a Mother Copyright © Eva Nabunya 2021

The right of Eva Nabunya to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Scripture quotations marked (AMP) are taken from the Amplified® Bible, Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV®

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved

British    Library    Cataloguing    in    Publication    Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. ISBN: 978-1-7399669-1-1

Cover image and line illustrations by Shutterstock Printed in the United Kingdom

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my lovely siblings: Dorothy, Barbara (RIP), Gracie, Heather, Josephine, Kirabo, Trevor (RIP) and my friends - Norah and Irene. I love that we can go months without communicating, but when we do, it feels like we have been in constant communication.

To my pastors and to all my friends: you have made this journey worthwhile.

To my nephews Daniel and Aaron: your giggles and the stomping of your feet as you chase each other around has served as a divine balm; you have helped accelerate my healing.

To my niece Dr. Anina: you are so special - I see elements of me in you.

To those that have walked parts of this journey with me: Your perspective on my journey has made me wiser and patient with people I encounter, especially when I do not have the full picture of what is going on behind the scenes.

To the Holy Spirit: you have been there with me every step of the way.

Sometimes it feels like the sun won't rise again. But it does.

- Eva Nabunya

Foreword

As I put my pen to paper, I am reminded that it is the 9th of May, 2021. Today has a double significance for me: it is Mother's Day in the United States and in Canada. It is also six days to when I minister at a Women's Fellowship on Loss and Bereavement. 'Motherhood' and 'Death': two pivots on which the entire world turns. We often find it difficult to acknowledge the latter but give god-like status to the former; so what happens when Motherhood and Death collide in the form of a miscarriage; or as in Eva's case, multiple miscarriages?

Until you release the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex. But eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open your wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peacewith them. -Iyanla Vanzant

When we break through the shame and begin to tell our story, we discover many have walked a similar path. You're not alone. I hope you find safe spaces to share your truth. There's healing there. -Dr Thema

Eva's book shows that a miscarriage is like a microscope that reveals hidden things about our belief systems and our attitude towards ourselves, towards others and most importantly towards God. I know this because I have experiential knowledge having also suffered a miscarriage. The challenge here is, will we allow this microscope also illuminate our lives, reveal the bugs and to also ultimately address them?

Permit me to also conclude that Eva's book demonstrates how the experience of a miscarriage (be it one or multiple) can be a tool in God's hands to reveal yourself, others and God to you. This book may be about her painful journey of multiple miscarriages, however, it provokes multiple questions about walking the path of life with authenticity.

Do we truly worship God in Spirit and in Truth in everything? For example, have you ever wondered if your value system is based on visible achievements instead of who you are in God? Are you able to trust God's timing in everything? How would you respond if God chooses in his sovereignty to say no to your quest for biological motherhood (or for something else you treasure)? Do you understand that God is working all things out according to the counsel of His will and not necessarily yours? On what basis are you choosing a life partner? When you step out of the will of God for your life, do you know how to retrace your steps? Are you able to forgive yourself and others? Are you able to derive gain from your deep-seated pain?

Do Christians understand and respond appropriately to the pain of infertility and miscarriage? Do we understand that a miscarriage is a traumatic event that could lead to complex trauma? How do we as individuals or as a church respond to bereavement and loss?

This book openly sets out on a deeply personal and painful journey but with lessons that have universal application. Eva says in her book Sometimes it feels like the sun won't rise again… but it does. Maybe we don't want it to rise, maybe we prefer the world to stop because our heart is breaking… but it will rise and set and rise again. That maybe is the hard part of life: it goes on, whether we are ready or not.

Whatever your pain, whatever your loss, this book might just be a tool in God's hand to start you on the path of true healing and restoration.

Dr. Folashade Olajubu

9th of May, 2021

"When we break through the shame and begin to tell our story, we discover many have walked a