From Tears to Glory

By Liam Kennedy

“My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I was already strong and they made me prove it."

My name is Liam Kennedy and I am a mental health sufferer, I have come from the brink of death to winning back my life. I use poetry as a tool to not just help myself but to also help my fellow mental health brothers and sisters aro

• Language: English
• Publisher: That Guys House
• Release date: Sep 27, 2018
• ISBN: 9781912779338

Book preview

Acknowledgements

I am indebted to the following people for their help and support:

To my partner Lisa, thank you for staying by my side throughout so much difficulty during our time together, here’s to the rest of our life.

To my mum, dad and my sisters Amy and Ellie for your continued love and support especially during my ten week breakdown.

Thank you to Stephen, Natasha, Yvonne, Alan, Terri, Rhys and Dylan for staying by my side when I needed you most.

To my publisher Sean Patrick for believing in me and my poetry and for giving me a wonderful opportunity.

To Johnnie Garside and the rest of the lads at Everton in the community for showing love and support.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me through my dark days.

‘THE NIGHTMARES WON’T DICTATE MY DAY’

I’ve been having nightmares every day for two month’s straight; they are quite disturbing and affect my mental state

When the nightmares started they would make me feel so low; night after night this happened to me, I tried to escape but I had nowhere to go

As a few more weeks went by my dreams remained the same; I decided to find out the cause of this, my PTSD was to blame

A month went by and still no change, the dreams where getting worse; my mind-set was to stay positive but in the end those thoughts would disperse

I had to approach this a different way, I needed to be precise; I opened up to my partner Lisa and she gave me some valuable advice

She sympathised with my situation and just like always she offered support; she convinced me that it was me still in control; this stopped me from falling short

Another week had now passed and the nightmares remained but I was now making progress; I would wake up each day and give a confident display, I promised myself to not give in to stress

Lisa’s words had resonated with me, she made me realise I’m still in control; I once again found my courage, I will not be discouraged, I was now climbing out of this hole

Fast forward some more, two months have now passed and the nightmares are still in play; I am now making strides with positivity as a guide and the nightmares won’t dictate my day

‘HAPPINESS IS WHAT I’M FIGHTING FOR’

Happiness is what I’m fighting for; it’s a battle every day but in the long run I’m at war

Even on the bad day’s when I’ve fallen on the floor; I tell myself to get back up and try to fight some more

Happiness to me is living life while in control; when the bad days do arrive, I must climb out of a hole

I climb and I climb and I continue to fight; I make sure that I don’t stop until I find the light

I prepare myself for tough days by having things in place; I show desire, in my heart there’s a fire and I get myself back in the race

I work hard to remain in a good place by sticking to my plan; when I’m experiencing happiness, I feel like a lucky man

‘HOW I SURVIVE’

This poem is a description of how I survive; to me being under pressure is the way that I thrive

Just because I’m in recovery does not mean the job is done; I must keep working hard every day until the war is won

I have coping strategies that keep me busy, they play a massive role; when I encounter bad day’s they help me climb out of a hole

Trying to survive was extremely hard at first; I was trapped inside a bubble but eventually it got burst

I’m not in denial, I am realistic; I’m determined not to become another statistic

There was a time when my problems where at their heaviest; every day felt like I was climbing Mount Everest

I did everything I could possibly do to survive; I had to keep on fighting if I wanted my life

In the past there was a time when I was at my very worst; everything I tried would not work, I felt like I was cursed

I had to keep on going; I made sure my strength was growing, bravery and courage where the two thing’s I kept on showing

My survival is due to consistency and a reluctance to wave the white flag; putting in the work rate helps my mental state, this prevents me from hitting a snag

‘CHALLENGE YOURSELF’

Challenge yourself every chance you get, always try to improve; you can better yourself if you put in the work, it’s time to make your move

Everyone is capable of achieving spectacular things; you have to believe if you want to achieve, that’s what hard work brings

To challenge yourself is healthy, it gives you a competitive edge; you develop a hunger to succeed in life, that is what I pledge

As every single day goes by your confidence starts to grow; life can be vicious but you are ambitious, hunger is what you start to show

Never settle for second best, you’re so much better than that; you will pass each test if you try your best, it will stop you from falling flat

‘FRIENDSHIP’

True friendship is knowing you are with me through the good times and the bad; I just want to say you’re one of if not the best friend I’ve ever had

You’re caring, you’re compassionate, you’re full of positivity; all of your true qualities have all rubbed off on me

You really mean the world to me, you always make me smile; to me you are incredible, you have a unique style

You understand me, you never judge and you’re so very humble; you’re always there to help me up whenever I have stumbled

I would like to finish this by paying tribute to you; you’re full of light, you shine so bright and I’m so proud of you

‘INVEST IN YOURSELF’

I believe it’s important to invest in yourself; I know this from experience and it improved my mental health

I vowed that I would work my hardest every single day; I began to build momentum and with my life I had a say

I knew this investment would be very hard at first; I smashed through each day and started feeling ok, for my life I developed a thirst

I have to keep moving with every forward step; I always plan out every day and I make sure that I prep

Investing in myself was so that I could have a future; the road I’m on has been rocky at times but now it is much smoother

When I wake each day I thank myself for making that important decision; investing in myself has improved my mental health and is the fuel that I need on my mission

I’M NOT HOLDING BACK’

I will not stay silent and I’m not holding back; this my friends is basically a full on attack

I am absolutely smashing the stigma attached to mental health; the ignorant people out there are the ones who need the help

How dare you make comments when you don’t fully understand; my mission is to silence you, that’s what I’ve got planned

I’m a voice for my peers and I’m a beacon of light; your cruel words cause darkness but my words can offer sight

My words are calculated, I’m dedicated and your word’s make people agitated; fighting back is what I’ve demonstrated, positive vibes have been activated

I’m not afraid to admit I have problems, I’m not afraid to admit I’ve sought help; my life has been rough but now I’m mentally tough, I’ve made the best of the card’s I’ve been dealt

‘I HAVE COME SO FAR’

I have come so far from the way things used to be; from hearing voices, severe depression and my PTSD

Now don’t get me wrong I struggle sometimes and I encounter dark days; but I tell myself that they won’t last, I find my way out of a maze

I’m emotional, inspirational and my poems are motivational; they’re also educational, they have become sensational

I have come so far but there is still a long way to go; I have the rest of my life ahead of me, dedication is what I must show

The good days are fantastic, my freedom is my guide; I continue to fight by shining the light and positivity flows from inside

‘GET BACK UP’

Get back up, get back up; it’s important that you get back up

Thing’s right now are hard and you have fallen on the floor; this will not restrict you from ever moving anymore

Before you move, try to visualise that you’re picking yourself back up; promise yourself this isn’t the end because you will never give up

I know that you’re so much stronger than you choose to believe; if you put your mind to something then anything can be achieved

The first step is the hardest but after that you make progress; your mental strength increases in length and you start to feel less stressed

To find the courage to get back up is easier said than done; to get back up shows you won’t give up and tells your illness your race is not run

‘IT’S ME AGAINST MY ILLNESS’

It’s me against my illness, I am fighting, I don’t stop; I work my hardest everyday so I come out on top

Previously I have said this before, it’s a battle every day; for the rest of my life I’m at war with my illness, I am here to stay

The bad days are rough, I must stay tough and I’ve proved I’m made of stronger stuff

Mental health to me is real but to my illness it’s just a game; the one thing I’ve found out is every day is not the same

My life is a work in progress and I distance myself from stress; I’m developing my mental strength each day so I can pass each test

I fight for the right to live my life with hard work and determination; the fact I’m in recovery has been down to my dedication

‘I WAS TESTED’

There was a time in my life when I was tested; the thoughts in my head where quite congested

I was sleep deprived and far from rested; hope and strength is what I requested

I was so weak; things looked bleak, to me every single day felt like a week

I am referring to the breakdown I went through forty seven months ago; this was new territory for me and I was incredibly low

My illness was winning and it was throwing everything at me; if I was to get through this then positivity was the key

I had never experienced pain like this; I was basically in hell; if I’m going to get myself out of this I will have to break out of my shell

The first nine weeks of my ten week breakdown caused me so much pain; the last week of the breakdown I changed the thoughts inside my brain

I replaced the negativity with positivity, this new way of thinking really did help me and it created light which I began to see

This was without doubt the toughest thing I’ve ever faced; I chose to fight back to get back on track, I had to stay in the race

My situation began to improve and I appreciated this greatly; I was winning the battle, my illness was rattled, it now began to hate me

The last day of the breakdown was crucial, I had a decision to make; I chose to fight so I could win back my life, this was a chance that I just had to take

I entered my recovery, inner strength was my discovery; to attack each day with ferocity has now become compulsory

‘I WAS BORN TO HELP PEOPLE’

I was born to help people, this was my destiny; I succeed in helping people with my poetry

On a daily basis I have people thanking me; to know my words are helping people makes me so happy

I have had to fight my way into this strong position; I entered my recovery because I made the right decision

I have saved myself, it is now time to save my peers; my aim is to make you smile instead of shedding tears

I realise that I have a gift, I share it every day; I show you the light and it shines so bright, in the dark is where you don’t have to stay

Helping myself was fantastic but that was not enough; now it’s my duty to connect with my peers by convincing them that they are tough

‘WARFARE’

It’s me against my illness, it’s a battle every day; I have to be on top of my game in order to remain ok

I have to plan each day out, I make sure I prepare; this is much more than a mental illness, it’s all out warfare

My illness works as hard as me so I have to stay one step ahead; I have a plan of attack and this keeps me on track with positive thoughts in my head

The work rate I put in today prepares me for tomorrow; each day I am growing stronger, this distances me from sorrow

I’m fighting for my freedom, I must stay in this winning position; I take each day at a time, I’m focused on my mission

I’m not just fighting for myself, I’m fighting for my peers; take my hand, we’re fighting back, it’s time to wipe your tears

‘FROM DESPERATION TO DETERMINATION’

I’ve gone from desperation to determination, I pride myself on dedication; I have escaped my frustration, happiness is my new location

I know what struggle is, I know what it feels like, it is not nice; the reason ive achieved what I have is due to the fact that I listened to advice

When I was desperate, I knew this