Transform stress to self care: The 8 approaches you need

By Kathleen Robb

Have you noticed how when you're stressed, the only solution out there seems to be meditation? Don't get me wrong, I love meditation as much as the next turmeric latte lover... but sometimes we need strategies to sort the causes of stress out. For every person I know who finds meditation enough, there's another who says "I medit

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kathleen Robb
• Release date: Oct 8, 2018
• ISBN: 9781645169345

Kathleen Robb

Kathleen Robb qualified as an occupational therapist and studied further in solution- focused therapy due to a passion for mental health. Later she worked in case management in various health and welfare before moving into policy and quality. But her passion for the strategies she learnt and taught in her mental health role never went away, and it became obvious that these self care practices need to be taken to the world. Much like we all benefit from eating well and exercising, even if we're not overweight or unwell, we all benefit from knowing how to care for our mind, emotions and life. Kathleen now works as a personal transformation mentor for women, specialising in teaching stress management and self care strategies. She lives in a friendly forest village on the outskirts of Melbourne, Australia with her husband, daughter and two rapscallion rescue dogs. Kathleen is currently studying a degree in naturopathy to add even more strategies for self care to her toolbox. She has a foot in both camps - scientifically proven health as well as traditional spiritual and healing practices. In spending most of her life immersed in both worlds simultaneously, she is able to draw together unique strategies to suit each individual. Above all else, Kathleen believes we all deserve to have a peaceful mind, and a happy heart.

Book preview

TRANSFORM STRESS TO SELF CARE

…

The 8 approaches you need

© 2018

KATHLEEN ROBB

© 2018

KATHLEEN ROBB

Kathleen Robb

This book is dedicated:

To my parents Fay and Peter,

and sisters Gillian and Felicity,

Thank you for the unconditional love, and being there for the whole journey.

My husband John and daughter Ava:

My cup overflows.

My teacher, Ken Grady, who believed in me before I did.

To those who seek solace from their stress

And to that place of peace that resides within us all.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior written permission from the author, except for brief quotations with credit given to the author.

This book contains information of a general nature, intended to help the reader be informed regarding their options for managing stress. It is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice from a qualified doctor or health practitioner. The reader should consult their doctor in any matters relating to their health, and before applying any strategies contained within this book. The author made every effort to ensure the information was correct at the time of publishing, but the author does not assume and hereby disclaims any liability for loss or damage by any cause from using the information herein. By using the information in this book you accept these terms.

Copyright, Kathleen Robb © 2018 All rights reserved

Select photographs by John Robb Photography: www.johnrobb.com.au

Formatting and diagrams by Sreejith Vinodkumar: www.torusdxn.com

MY STRESS STORY

Many years ago, I was engaged to a guy and we lived in London. He had lost his job, and it became my full time mission to keep his spirits up. If I raised concerns about how we budgeted life in expensive London on my single income while trying to keep up with our wealthier friends, he became extremely angry. When I tried to encourage him to continue applying for jobs, he became angry. Over time, my life bent entirely around trying to maintain his mood.

Then he got a job. I was so relieved. At last, my needs could have a turn! This is when I discovered the power of a dysfunctional relationship dynamic. Nothing changed. My needs still triggered anger. Eventually, I wrote down all the topics we were arguing about. I wrote down what he wanted, what I wanted, and the compromise in between for each of these issues. I took the list to him and asked if we could talk. He picked up a pen, took my piece of paper, and drew a slashing line straight through it. The message was clear – his way.

At this I asked if we could seek help, or I could no longer survive in this relationship. He scoffed at the idea that I would leave, and told me I will never let you leave. You will have to run away.

The following weekend he went to play soccer with friends. And I ran away. I had the contents of one backpack and not a single dollar in the bank – he had spent it all. Luckily I had one other thing that prevented me from sleeping on the streets – I had generous friends who allowed me to stay on their couch until I could find somewhere to live and gather some savings together.

So I learnt about relationship stress, and financial stress, and decided: never again. I didn’t get it right straight away - I had other unhealthy relationships until I found a healthy and kind and respectful one. And I sometimes spent too much money on the way to putting a down payment on my own apartment. But I turned a corner that day that has taken me in a whole new direction.

I still worked too hard and had some unhealthy friendships. I knew work stress wasn’t meant to be healthy, but I loved my work and I thought I was thriving on the adrenaline.

And then I made the world’s smallest mistake at work. And despite the 14 hour days, and a history of years of pouring my heart and soul into my work, certain workmates responded in an extreme way and in a moment I felt completely shattered. I went from confident and passionate at work to having panic attacks and isolating myself. Several miscarriages followed. Some of my friends drifted away.

It was a dark time.

I took time out to heal. I developed new dreams (to study a naturopathy degree, which I am halfway through), and I pursued my passions and spent more time with people whose energy was gentle and kind. And bit by bit I managed my stress. Not by changing the world around me - but by changing how I responded to it.

In learning this, my life changed forever. I had a daughter (NB please don’t tell people who are struggling with fertility they need to relax. This is not the answer for everyone, and even though it was a big part of my story, it is not the whole of my story). I am loving my studies. I live in a home I love with my husband, daughter and dogs in the world’s loveliest community. Life is good.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

MY STRESS STORY

WHY THIS GUIDE HAS NOTHING BUT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH MEDITATING TO SOLVE STRESS

HOW TO USE THIS WORKBOOK

HOW STRESS AFFECTS OUR LIVES

WHY IT IS GREAT NEWS THAT STRESS IS AFFECTING OUR WHOLE LIFE

STRESS AND YOUR THOUGHTS

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOUR THERAPY (CBT)

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY (ACT)

SELF-TALK AND AFFIRMATIONS

DECLUTTER YOUR DECISIONS

STRESS AND YOUR EMOTIONS

SAFELY PROCESSING EMOTIONS

FEELING TRIGGERED

VICARIOUS TRAUMA

CARER STRESS

STRESS AND YOUR HABITS

OVERWHELM

BATCHING FOR EFFICIENCY

DO YOUR HABITS SUPPORT THE LIFE YOU WANT?

LOOSENING THE HOLD OF UNHELPFUL HABITS

CREATING NEW HABITS

DEALING WITH PROCRASTINATION, EXCUSES AND OTHER FORMS OF SELF-SABOTAGE

FINANCIAL HABITS

STRESS AND YOUR ENVIRONMENT

CREATING AN ENVIRONMENT THAT SUPPORTS YOU

DEALING WITH CLUTTER

JOY IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT

STRESS AND YOUR BODY

BACK TO THE BREATH

NUTRITION AND STRESS

Hydration

Nutrition

A healthy microbiome for a healthy mind

Nutrition for balancing stress and relaxation hormones

Energy production

Making nutritional changes

SLEEP AND REST

EXERCISE

HOW TO SHIFT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BODY

STRESS AND YOUR ENERGY FIELD

THE SHADOW SELF

CHAKRAS AND STRESS

Base chakra

Sacral chakra

Solar plexus chakra

Heart chakra

Throat chakra

THIRD EYE/ BROW CHAKRA

CROWN CHAKRA

CALMING AND CLEARING THE ENERGY FIELD

Letting go of concepts and ideas that haven’t been working for you

Refresh and cleanse your field at the end of the day

Protect your energy field at the start of the day or as needed

Cord cutting to create space from unhealthy relationships

Put down energetic roots to feel stable, nurtured and grounded

Soothe your frazzled energy

STRESS AND YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

GETTING YOUR NEEDS MET

HOW TO DECREASE RELATIONSHIP STRESS IMMEDIATELY.

STRESSFUL RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

PEOPLE PLEASING, LEAKY BOUNDARIES AND SAYING NO

REDUCING STRESS THROUGH SOCIAL CONNECTION

STRESS AND YOUR SPIRIT

MINDFULNESS

FORGIVENESS

GRATITUDE

PRAYER AND SURRENDER

HOW TO TAKE THIS WORK DEEPER TO REALLY MAKE A TRANSFORMATION AND WORK WITH ME.

ABOUT KATHLEEN ROBB

BIBLIOGRAPHY

WHY THIS GUIDE HAS NOTHING BUT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH MEDITATING TO SOLVE STRESS

Albert Einstein tells us that we can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. When it comes to stress, we can’t solve it out there unless we solve it in here – within our own minds and hearts and the way