Reinventing Yourself Today: Step by Step Program to Discover Your True Self and Reinvent Your Life Accordingly

By Sharon Ball

Life is a journey and sometimes we need a roadmap to get exactly where we want to go.
Reinventing Yourself Today presents a step by step program that walks you through
identifying and reprogramming unconscious beliefs, self talk, and other issues that lead to
the learned behaviors and habits that have created your present reality. With the help of the
workbook exercises at the end of each chapter, you are led through self discovery and goal
setting to create your ideal life vision and then to deal with the many obstacles in your path
such as stress, poor self esteem, etc. while you bring your vision of ideal life to reality.
We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden. ~ Johann Wolfgang
von Goethe
Its never too late to be what you might have been. ~George Eliot

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 14, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456896393

Sharon Ball

Sharon Ball earned a bachelor’s degree in elementary education from Louisiana State University and taught for thirty-three years. Sharon and her husband, Joe, have one adult son, Joel, and a lovely daughter-in-law, Leslie. The couple reside in Bogalusa, Louisiana. The rooster, Apollo 2, actually existed and is the inspiration for her first children’s book.

Book preview

Copyright © 2011 by Sharon Ball.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2011905017

ISBN:         Hardcover                               978-1-4568-9638-6

                   Softcover                                 978-1-4568-9637-9

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4568-9639-3

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

DISCLAIMER

The information in this book is not intended to take the place of advice from your medical provider or therapist and is for educational and informational purposes only. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read.

You will find while reading that some of the information resonates with you, and some of the information just doesn’t fit your situation. This e-book contains many generalities so that there will be something for everyone who reads it. So take what seems to fit and ignore those parts that aren’t for you.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

94921

For Michael

Contents

HABIT

Introduction

Chapter 1: USING PSYCHOLOGY TO UNDERSTAND YOUR TRUE SELF

THE CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS

UNCONSCOUS BELIEF SYSTEMS

ARE YOU AWARE OF YOUR OWN PERSONAL DEFENSE MECHANISMS?

BEHAVIOURS AND HABITS ARE LEARNED

LOCUS OF CONTROL

MONITORING YOUR SELF TALK

OTHER OBSTACLES TO SUCCESSFUL CHANGE

WORK BOOK EXERCISES for

Chapter 1 of Reinventing Your Life

Chapter 2: ASSESSING YOUR LIFE

DEFINING ASSESSMENT

WHAT IS YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE?

LIFESTYLE ASSESSMENT/MASLOW’S HIERARCHY

IDENTIFYING YOUR VALUES

WHAT ARE YOUR TOLERATIONS?

IDENTIFYING WHAT IT IS THAT YOU REALLY WANT

LIVING YOUR PASSIONS

ASSESSING YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH

SYMPTOMS THAT MUST BE ADDRESSED

OTHER WAYS TO STAY HEALTHY

WORK BOOK EXERCISES for Chapter 2 of Reinventing Your Life

Chapter 3: USING THE STAGES OF CHANGE MODEL TO PLAN YOUR REINVENTION

SMART GOALS

IN SUMMARY

WORK BOOK EXERCISES for Chapter 3 of Reinventing Your Life

Chapter 4: BUILDING YOUR MOTIVATION, DEALING WITH RELAPSES, MANAGING STRESS

WHAT IS MOTIVATION?

YOU NEED THE CORRECT ATTITUDE TO MAINTAIN AND BUILD MOTIVATION

DEALING WITH RELAPSES

WHAT IS RELAPSE?

ACCOUNTABILITY

STRESS MANAGEMENT

BURNOUT

WORK BOOK EXERCISES for Chapter 4 of Reinventing Your Life

Exercise 1: Monitoring Your Self talk

Exercise 2: Managing Relapses

Exercise 3: Dealing with Cravings and Triggers

Exercise 4: Creating a Vision Board

Exercise 5: Tools for Managing Stress

Exercise 6: Stress Management Checklist

Exercise 7: Are You Suffering From Stress and Burnout?

Chapter 5: REINVENTION IS A PROCESS AND NOT A DESTINATION

TIME MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION

SELF NURTURING

WORK BOOK EXERCISES for Chapter 5 of Reinventing Your Life

SUMMARY

REFERENCES and RESOURCES

HABIT

I am your constant companion.

I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.

I am at your command.

Half of the tasks that you do you might just as well

Turn over to me and I will do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.

Show me exactly how you want something done.

After a few lessons, I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great people

And the regret of all failures as well.

Those who are great, I have made great.

Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine but I will work with all its precision

Plus the intelligence of a person.

Now you may run me for profit or you may run me for ruin.

It makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me and

I will lay the world at your feet.

Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

I am called Habit!

~ Author Unknown ~

Introduction

Often we find ourselves wanting to make a change and it never happens. Our New Year’s Resolutions are the same year after year. We are so overwhelmed by life in general that there just doesn’t seem to be enough time to live life like we want to. Maybe we have unlimited time but no motivation or no money. Or maybe we have external success and lots of money but no time to enjoy it. We may want to improve our health by giving up smoking, losing weight, exercising regularly, or possibly getting our blood sugar under better control. We have attempted over and over to make these changes and always failed. Maybe it just seems that something is missing from our life but we are not really sure what it is. We just can’t decide what it is that would make us truly happy.

If you happen to be like me, you have most likely read dozens of motivational books, each promising to show you how to fix your life. Some books may tell you to imagine success and it will happen. Others may encourage you to imagine you deserve success and only then will it come into your life. Then there are books that advise you to just be in the moment. And there are those books that say a whole lot of nothing in an amazingly large number of words.

I finally gave up seeking out a program that worked, deciding to design my own instead. I wanted to change my life using very concrete steps. I studied psychology and got a degree in health and wellness. Then I became a nurse practitioner in an effort to manage both my health and my life in addition to making a living. But even with my job and the plethora of information I had acquired from the 100s of self health books I had read, something was still lacking. Each step I took moved me closer to my new life, but it has taken me decades of effort and study to create my personal life reinvention program. I’ve invested the time and done the work so that you won’t have to do the same. It’s all laid out in here in specific steps and exercises to guide you through making the changes that will reinvent your life, your way.

You will assess your life and decide what parts of your life you wish to keep, what parts you need to get rid of completely and what parts just need to be changed. You will look into yourself and identify what it is about yourself that may make it easy or difficult to change. You’ll learn that your life is a result of learned behaviors and habits. And that what we can learn we can unlearn. Often behind these behaviors and habits are unconscious beliefs. You can seek out these beliefs and reprogram them. From there you will assess your life and identify everything you’d like to change and then choose the most important area to work on first. Then you can identify the stages to lasting change and consider what stage you are in for each of the different changes you might want to make. By setting smart goals and becoming skilled at motivating yourself you will be on your way to beginning your own personal life reinvention. You’ll learn how to manage your stress more effectively, and then in the final chapter you’ll get a taste of time management and self nurturing to make your new reinvented life well rounded. That’s what my college professors told me I needed to learn from my college education, how to be well rounded.

As you get your creating juices flowing, you will first create your new reinvented life in your mind, and then you will actually bring your reinvented life into physical existence. You can re-write the script for your life movie using both your imagination and your conscience. But remember that life is a process, a journey and the final destination is death. So don’t expect that this program will lead you to a final destination. Instead, it will show you how to make the journey of life uniquely yours and how to make that journey as happy and satisfying as possible.

Chapter 1

USING PSYCHOLOGY

TO UNDERSTAND YOUR

TRUE SELF

THE CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS

Let’s talk a little bit about the concept of happiness. What do people actually need in order to live a happy and successful life? Some experts have come up with a list that includes having a healthy body, having enough money to meet basic needs, doing some type of productive work or activity on a regular basis, having a healthy attitude, having a source/sources of affection, and having definable and achievable goals.

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf having a healthy body: having a healthy body means freedom from illnesses that impair ones zest for life. We don’t necessarily have to be free of all illness if our health problems do not continuously interfere with our activities of daily living.

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf having enough money to meet basic needs: A word of caution here, when I refer to basic needs I am referring to food, shelter, clothing, water, air, medical care, transportation, adequate sleep, etc. Not a cell phone, a yearly trip to Disneyland, a Cadillac, eating out every night, or a closet FULL of clothes.

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf doing some type of productive work or activity on a regular basis: productive work or activity means that we feel a sense of achievement and are making some type of difference in the world. At the same time this work should not be unpleasant or feel like drudgery.

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf having a healthy attitude: a good attitude requires that we can accept the bad with the good and feel positive about our life and our future.

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf having a source/sources of affection: we are social beings and need to communicate and share experiences with each other. We need to have significant others who validate us as being the person we think we are. We need to be able to both give and receive affection, not necessarily of a romantic nature.

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf and having definable and achievable goals: defined goals refer to having a picture of what we want our life to be like and having a step by step plan that will help us achieve the basic reality of our vision of the ideal life.

Next question, what makes people unhappy? Most experts agree with the following list:

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf Lack of any of the prerequisites for happiness

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf Failure to achieve goals

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf Envy

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf Boredom

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf Fatigue

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf Relationship problems

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf Loneliness

94921-BALL-layout-low.pdf Fear of the opinions of others

Another way we sabotage our thoughts and feelings is with our expectations. We expect to have a fabulous vacation or a fabulous holida should or someone else should we can cause ourselves a real problem. The definition of should is obligation, duty, propriety, or desirability." But just because we think that an action is an obligation or duty does not necessarily mean that it is or that everyone else will regard it in the same way.

Research shows that 50% of your happiness is genetic,

10% is based on what happens to you and 40% is under

your control (Lyubomirsky, 2006)

We are born with a kind of set point that determines the level of happiness each of us tends to return to after circumstances (the 10% of what happens to us such as we get the job of our dreams versus developing a major health problem or going through a divorce, etc) intervene. Did you know that the human animal is the only animal with a frontal lobe that allows them to think about being happy, unhappy, and dream about the future instead of thinking only about the present?

Depending on whether we consider the cup half empty or half full we might think that since we can ONLY control 40% of our happiness, we are the victim of outside influences. Or we might think that 40% can make a big difference in our life and it is up to us to make the most of that 40%. Studies have shown that people create self fulfilling prophecies. This is what all the Law of Attraction stuff out there is talking about. If we dwell on our failures we will find more failure. If we dwell on happiness and success we will acquire more happiness and success. We need to assess our present behaviors and habits and also decide what we want from life that we do not have. If we need to make changes, we need to get started and do it. If we need a coach to help us make necessary changes, then