Living Free: A Holistic Health Guide

By Lauren Ogurek

Living Free: A Holistic Health Guide is a guidebook that explores holistic approaches to ease anxiety and live a healthy life of balance and wellbeing. Through life experiences and extensive research on natural and holistic practices, author Lauren Ogurek walks us through simple and practical methods, tips, and tricks that can be used t

• Language: English
• Publisher: New Degree Press
• Release date: Dec 11, 2020
• ISBN: 9781636762517

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

Nip It in the Bud

---

Chapter 1 - Illustration

If it makes you happy, it doesn’t have to make sense to others.

—unknown

Finding Your Triggers

Look at your life objectively and figure out what triggers you.

My junior year of college was one of the most anxious periods of my life. After I spent a summer working on myself, growing in my spirituality, and figuring out ways to be truly happy, my anxiety still returned. One day in October, I had one of my first panic attacks. It was a very strange feeling and onset of emotions. For me, the panic attack started with a spree of overthinking, so bad that I was getting overwhelmed by my own thoughts. I felt like my obsessive thoughts were essentially taking over my brain. Quickly, I began to notice how they were physically affecting me, too. As my thoughts raced, I began feeling sick to my stomach. My heart was pounding, and I felt so light-headed that I nearly passed out. I sat in my friend’s car and fully broke down.

While I was crying to her, she was trying to help me through it. One of the first questions she asked me was, What is making you feel this way?

I stopped for a moment, thought about her question, and truly could not come up with an answer. I was so unsure of what was making me so crippled with anxiety. I began to think that maybe there was no answer; maybe there was no reason I was feeling this way. I began to cope with it and realize that it is okay to not feel okay, and sometimes, there does not need to be a specific reason as to why.

Focusing on potential causes rather than reasons is important. When it comes to mental illness, a number of causes can contribute to a state of depression and anxiety. Some of these causes include your brain structure, genetic predisposition, and environmental exposure—all of which are out of your control.[6] In many cases, people tend to feel that there is no reason to be struggling because they perceive their life to be better or easier than others’, which leads to them feeling like they don’t deserve help. Yet mental illness is a medical condition, not a choice.[7]

Understanding this is what ultimately got me through the panic attack. I just let myself cry and feel. For the long term, I knew this would not be enough for me. I understood there did not need to be one reason—but I knew I could figure out some of the causes.

Over the next few weeks of that fall semester, I began to objectively look at my life and pay attention to my feelings. In fact, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) recommends learning what triggers your anxiety, whether it be work, school, family, or something else. On top of that, it notes that writing out your triggers and looking for patterns can be a great coping mechanism.[8] Armed with the knowledge that documenting my triggers and identifying patterns could help, I decided to start down that path immediately.

After taking the time to pay attention to my thoughts and feelings, I quickly realized there were multiple things in my life that triggered my anxiety. I lived in a dark basement in a college house, played a sport that I no longer loved, and was in a relationship that left me feeling like something was off. Upon further reflection, I realized that these three areas—where I lived, how I spent my free time, and who I was involved with—comprised the biggest pieces of my life. Since I was unhappy with all of these major aspects, I woke up depressed every day and suffered from overwhelming anxiety.

I knew I had some changes to make.

I thought I finally found the answer: if I could eliminate these three aspects, I would no longer feel anxious. But it wasn’t that easy. These three aspects of my life were big things, and they were not quick and simple fixes. The anxiety I was experiencing was so bad that I was crumbling. I knew I needed to make changes that were best for me and my mental health, but I was unsure where to start. I took a couple of weeks to process the changes I wanted (and desperately needed) to make and came up with a plan of action. I had to take them one step at a time.

Taking Control

I decided to start with the one aspect that was causing me the most anxiety and grief and cut it out of my life. I moved out of the basement at my college house and moved into a new home with some other friends. I finally had a bedroom, upstairs, filled with light, which science has proven can make a person happier (I discuss this further in Chapter Six).[9] Knowing that my closest friends were only a few feet away from me was also comforting. This made me feel less alone.

I know this doesn’t seem like it would be a big deal for some people, but it drastically changed my life. I no longer had anxiety when I would go into my bedroom. My new room had natural light, and I also had the company of people close to me nearly all the time. Each day got better because I made this change. This was step one for me.

Two months later, I reassessed my life and my mental state of mind. I was still anxious. I knew I wanted to quit college softball because it was something I dreaded going to every day. I had played for fifteen years, and I just didn’t enjoy it anymore. It was no longer fun for me. It felt more like a job than a hobby.

But the thought of quitting made me squirm. I kept thinking about what other people wanted from me.

What will my parents say?

What will my coach say?

What will my teammates think?

It wasn’t that my anxiety was causing me to lose love for the game; rather, my loss of love for the game brought me anxiety. I wasn’t sure how to quit because I knew I would let people down in the process. Yet I came to a point when I was mentally checked out and needed to make a change. So, after a ton of thinking, I decided to quit. It was the best decision I could have ever made for my mental health. I realized that quitting softball didn’t mean quitting on myself. I took my newfound freedom and invested it into areas of my life that brought me joy and fulfillment.

Each day I would fill the void of softball with something else that brought me happiness and peace. I started doing yoga, joined new clubs, and even picked up a minor in psychology (no surprise there). I never looked back, I did not miss softball, and my life got better. While it was a hard and scary decision, I am so glad I made it. I realized what my needs were and decided to put myself first, and it paid off.

About a month later, I was much happier and felt way more at peace. Yet there was still something off. I did some more soul searching and realized I was no longer happy in my long-term relationship. This was very hard for me to cope with. I am the type of person who hates to let people down, and the mere thought of hurting someone I love made me feel sick to my stomach, so I continued to push away my doubts.

Even though I tried to push away my feelings, they still weighed heavily on me every day. I knew I needed to get out of my relationship. I ultimately made the decision to leave the relationship and be on my own. Personal growth is something that is super important to me. I felt like I needed to be alone in order to allow myself to grow on a deeper level (I dive deeper into the power of being alone in Chapter Ten). While it was super tough in the moment, ending my relationship felt like a huge weight off of my shoulders when it was all said and done.

In fact, all of these decisions were hard. I don’t want that to get misconstrued. None of them were easy or light decisions to make, and they brought a lot of grief. They made me worry, they made me anxious, and they made me sick to my stomach. I constantly wondered how my decisions would impact other people, and that is what ultimately caused me the most pain. However, I can tell you now that those feelings dissipate in time. The people in your life will get over it, and time will heal.

A few months later, I finally found myself at peace. I was in a great state of mind. I looked back at the past six months and realized how much I’d grown. In such a short period of time, I had completely changed my life. I cut out everything that was bringing me down instead of lifting me up. It was not easy, but making these changes was the right move for me and so worth it in the long run. Through the process, I grew stronger and better than before.

As I learned throughout this experience, you need to listen to yourself and identify big issues that are causing you grief. However, I want you to know that you can do this with little things as well. Not every change has to be a drastic, life-altering decision. For example, let’s say you made plans to grab dinner with a friend, but you have a lot of work to get done at home and aren’t feeling up for it. Instead of worrying about what to do and letting yourself feel anxious about it, stop and listen to yourself. Don’t go to dinner. Reschedule. Don’t turn small problems into big ones.

Lastly, I urge you to recognize when you need further help. If you are dealing with a specific trauma or have a certain phobia you can’t seem to cope with on your own, seek professional help. There are so many people out there who are professionally trained to help you cope and get to the root cause of your issues. Taking things into your own hands and trying to solve them yourself is a great first step, but remember it is not the only one. For more information, Chapter Fifteen is dedicated to seeking further help.

Looking at your life objectively and figuring out what triggers you is so crucial. I lived two years of my life feeling depressed and anxious, when ultimately much of my stress was all in my control. You are in control of your own destiny; you have free will, so use it! Look at your life, figure out what brings you pain, and make changes for YOU. It is okay to be selfish. This is your life, and you write your story. Stop living your life for other people and do what makes you happy. You will notice a dramatic change, and I promise you it will be worth it.

Photo - a woman

CHAPTER TWO

Mindfulness

---

Chapter 2 - Illustration

And they keep asking me where happiness can be found, but I’m no longer trying to find happiness. I just appreciate where I am and then happiness finds me.

—Soyen

Mindful Moments

Are you still with me? What are you thinking about in this exact moment? Are you fully engaged while reading this book? Or do you find your mind wandering, thinking about a project at work, your Friday night plans, or a recent conflict with a friend? Stop for a second. Close your eyes. Take a few cleansing breaths.

No seriously. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.

Breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, and breathe out for