A Twistedly Jolly Christmas 2018

By Matthew Tonks

You hold in your hands a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know. For scrawled in blood upon the pages are stories twisted thirty-one in all, soaked in eggnog and Christmas lore. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to ponder, five minutes to sing, five minutes to do almost anything. A tree, a elf, a reindeer, a doomsday. A fat man, a chimney, a sack, a sleigh. Mirrored reflections, a present or two. Death and division, humanity askew. A sock stuffed with coal, underpants up a flagpole, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride the sleigh with me too...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Matthew Tonks
• Release date: Dec 25, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005825225

Matthew Tonks

Together we ride the steed of madness, along a road long foretold. Do not let the dire consequences scare you from this journey, for it is written, so it must be. We traveller. We explorers of otherworldly things. Let us share our providence, so we may all prosper.Hidden in the depths of it all, you will find your utopia, and it will be a beautiful sight to witness.For I may walk beside you, and I may carry your umbrella in the sun, just don’t expect me to dig you up, when the zombie apocalypse comes...

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A Twistedly Jolly Christmas

2018

Words by Matthew Tonks

mtonks.com

Art by Garry Williams

yazgar.com

Copyright 2018 Matthew Tonks

License Notes

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Be Thee In The Rain

If what you say is true, then we must change the outcome!

Spider laughs loudly and wipes the tears that run down his face away from his eyes. You are truly a man of faith, but that faith will not do today, nor will it do tomorrow. Can’t you see the hope you once brought, is now wasted. Forget them, they are on a collision course with extinction anyway. Allow their hand to be brought undone by another, instead of their own carelessness.

I can’t do that, and you know that to be true. I am fabled by their stories, and in those fabled, given strength. Without them, I too am nothing but a husk of what you see before you. I must make haste, and save the day, if only to save myself.

Spider’s many eyes open wide and he laughs louder than before, The great man is more concerned about his own existence, than the terror that strikes his so-called followers.

THAT IS A LIE!

But you just fucking said it, you just fucking said you will save the day, if only to save yourself. That is a glorious sign you care more for your own dumb existence, than their pittance.

You mistake my words for their true meanings and twist them into something more for your own cruel jokes. I have nurtured their children from my breasts. I have brought joy to their lives, when they had no hope to look forward to. I deserve my existence, as do they. We are symbiotic counterparts, where you are a leech, sucking all life dry so you can survive another day. he says as he lets out a fierce breath of fiery air from out of his nose. I’ll admit, the yin and the yang is tiresome, and I have grown weary of their carelessness, but I love them, for they love me. he says proudly, his cheeks glowing with pride.

Liar!

YOU ARE THE LIAR! NOT ONLY TO YOURSELF, BUT TO OTHERS! he bellows. NOW RID YOURSELF FROM MY SIGHT, BEFORE YOU ARE THE FIRST TO BE GIVEN MY FINAL GIFT!

A sea of tongues spew from multiple mouths, as it lets out a low hiss. You think you are capable of harming ME? I am a god, worshipped by many, and you, you are a fairy tale told to children by uneducated parents, as a tool to try and make them behave!

He tightens his hands into fists and clenches his teeth, once again letting out a fierce breath of air from his nose. It’s the level of faith, and how it is given that makes us different.

Spider stops in his tracks, and hisses as his head tilts. Those that worship me know I am true, and will do anything to meet my will, while your followers are children. Pathetic little children. What power can children give you?

Wonder and dreams. Fairy tales and marshmallows. Joy and cheer. Children are magic, and their love gives me the power to be anything. he says as he rises from the ground and is encased in a brilliant green glow. I am Santa Claus! I am the power personified, and you spider, are no more! he cries, as a blinding light burns through spider, until there is nothing left.

Potion Twenty-Six

I want to start this story out with one important fact, one fact that will ensure as you hear this, as you take all this in, you will know that none of this was my fault. You may at times think, maybe I had something to do with it all, but I can assure you for the sake of any future arguments, I, Tim Malone, did not have or ever did have, any underlying self-absorbed intentions, other than to ensure a fair and just outcome was reached so that everyone involved would benefit, he says, as he stares down the camera lens, he tucks a finger down between the collar of his shirt and his throat, and pulls it lose.

He clears his throat, takes a mouthful of water from a glass that he holds nervously in his hands, and smiles. Two days ago was when it started or ended. I'm not sure anymore what you would call it, either both, or whatever, but two days ago was when Trevor Malduver unsuccessfully attempted to free what he thought were refugees from a government holding centre, somewhere in the arse end of the city. Stupid fucker didn't realise they were locked away for a reason, he says, as he reaches up to his collar again, and pulls on it once more, this time unbuttoning the top of the shirt.

If Trevor had done his homework correctly, he would've found out that everyone was being held there for a reason. But Trevor didn't, and because he didn’t, he inadvertently freed the infection from its chamber. The infected ran in all directions like rats, spreading their disease to everyone they came in contact with, he hangs his head and looks down at the floor. He feels the tears well