2020 Book One: Twisted Stories/Unhinged Poems

By Matthew Tonks

You hold in your hands a piece of a puzzle far grander than you could ever know. For scrawled in blood upon the pages are stories twisted twenty in all, soaked in the embers of my insanity. Five minutes to glimpse inside the eyes of someone new, five minutes to answer, five minutes to sin, five minutes to do almost anything. A god, a demon, a harlot, a whore. A fascist, a killer, a sinner, a door. Death and division, humanity askew. A belfry of bats, a sea of black cats, so many moments out there to see, so many things you could see with me. So take a seat beside me and call it voodoo, because now you ride with me too...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Matthew Tonks
• Release date: Mar 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463121054

Matthew Tonks

Together we ride the steed of madness, along a road long foretold. Do not let the dire consequences scare you from this journey, for it is written, so it must be. We traveller. We explorers of otherworldly things. Let us share our providence, so we may all prosper.Hidden in the depths of it all, you will find your utopia, and it will be a beautiful sight to witness.For I may walk beside you, and I may carry your umbrella in the sun, just don’t expect me to dig you up, when the zombie apocalypse comes...

Book preview

The Stories

Next Big Thing

Dale raises his hands high in the air and smiles broadly. There are many things in your life you are capable of, but of those things the greatest is to be here with me, to celebrate this moment! he says as he turns to the gigantic screen behind him that shows a live feed from a camera that sits somewhere in front of him, allowing everyone in attendance to see the star of the show.

He waves to himself jokingly, Hello Dale! he says enthusiastically to his big screen version.

Hello Dale, he replies. Do you want me to take things over from here?

Dale turns to the crowd who laugh as he makes a face and points at himself. I’m sorry, but I thought this was my show? he says.

It is your show Dale, don’t let me take that away from you. But I’m the you from two hours ago, who you pre-recorded to allow the grand story of what has gone on in the past, to be told without fault or failure.

Are you saying, I don’t trust myself to tell the story correctly? Dale asks.

That sounds about it, the big screen version says, as the audience breaks out in louder laughter.

Oh well, I guess if I don’t trust myself, who can I trust? Dale says with a smirk upon his face.

Well no one, obviously.

So tell us Dale, what brought us here to this point today?

I’m so glad you asked, the big screen version of Dale says, as he looks out into the crowd. At the beginning of the new millennium, a small veteran company that was on the verge of total collapse proceeded to make a giant leap forward in the mobile phone market when they released one of the first phones that included a camera. This movement revolutionised the market in ways no one would be able to understand, then more features were added until this little thing here, he says holding up a small mobile phone, was as powerful as this pile of now defunct pieces of equipment. he says as the camera pans to an assortment of computers, cameras and other once highly sought-after electronic devices.

Since then man has strived to continue to update and over produce the next big thing, the next gigantic leap in technology. But so far, no one has managed to take that big step, no one that is until my team and I at AnySoftware did something magical. We have taken that next step, to take a phone beyond that of a phone. We have made the steps beyond that of simply adding and quadrupling camera lenses. We have created the final evolution of not only the humble mobile phone, but we have also upgraded ourselves. he says to a thunderous applause.

Please you are too kind, you really are. he says with a bashful smile on his face. Now, I have to come clean. For you see, I’ve done some misdirecting at the beginning of the show. The little guy down there, he says, pointing to the Dale who is on the stage. That’s not actually me, it’s an actor by the name of Thomas Geard. Say hello Thomas? he says.

Hello! Thomas calls out, waving to the audience with a huge smile on his face.

Thomas steps in as my double from time to time when I have certain business needs that I can’t avoid taking care of, like today. Now before you get upset, I need you to understand what I’ve done for you today. I know many of you will find it hard to take the next step in our combined evolution, as it’s not that pretty to look at. Knowing that, I took it upon myself to personally have the new asPhone installed so I could show you just how it operates. Now without any more stalling, let’s give myself a warm welcome, as I show you the new asPhone XX! he yells, the crowd roars to life with excitement as Dale fades away, and the screen focuses on a set of curtains that begin to part in the centre of the stage. The stadium falls silent as Dale awkwardly walks through the curtains, an asPhone surgically attached to his face, and two