An Unspeakable Life
It was a perfect fall afternoon when Muriel found out she was pregnant. Tourists snatched up apple cider by the gallon at farm stands. Leaf peepers stood on the side of the road with their cameras aimed in all directions; wherever you looked, a quintessential New England landscape waited to be captured. But Muriel barely noticed the crisp air as she sat on the front porch pulling crumbling pieces out of the wicker chair and flicking them into the grass behind her. Keeping the indicator low in her lap so the neighbors couldn’t see it, she stared at the test result in disbelief.
Her neighbor’s cat caught sight of her and bounded over. Echo was a big black cat with bright green eyes who came over every day at around four thirty when his owner returned from work. At the top of the porch steps he let out a clipped meow.
Muriel said hel-lo sadly back. She let Echo jump in her lap and climb up until their noses touched. His rear end lifted high each time she stroked him, then settled, then lifted, then settled. His claws extended and retracted from furry mounds of feline knuckles as he kneaded her chest. She pushed her face into Echo’s warm neck, letting his fur stick to her cheeks and tickle her nose. They got on well like that for the next fifteen minutes or so until he caught sight of a squirrel.
Muriel reached out. “Don’t go, please…”
Already she missed that warm heft of a small life in her lap.
When Charles came home from work she told him she had something to tell him.
“Sure,” he said, “just let me get these groceries in.”
She followed him into the kitchen and watched him put his bags on the counter. “I just want you to know that I have been taking my pills,” she said, standing furtively in the doorway. “I don’t know how this could’ve happened…”
The truth was, she might have let the pills
