Responsibilities in the Family

By Oluwagbemiga Olowosoyo

There are little or no information on the responsibilities each individual has in the family. This powerful book is written in simple language to meat that need. It is a material for everyone committed to joy in the family.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jun 15, 2013
• ISBN: 9781304140210

Book preview

Responsibilities in the Family

Responsibilities in Marriage

Oluwagbemiga Olowosoyo

©2013 Oluwagbemiga Olowosoyo.

ISBN 978-1-304-14021-0

1 Grand Street,

Bridgeport.

CT 06604

Tel: [phone]

P. O. Box 36706,

Dugbe, Ibadan

Oyo State, Nigeria

Tel: [phone]

E. Mail: [e-mail]

Website:  www.olowosoyo.org

All rights reserved.  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or be transmitted, in any form or by any means, mechanical, electronic, photocopying or otherwise without the prior written consent of the publisher.

Bible quotes are from the King James Version unless otherwise stated.

Dedication

I want to dedicate this book to my brother

Olukunle Abiodun Olowosoyo

and his lovely wife

Abiola Olowosoyo

Thanks for opening the door to my Europe operations.

Introduction

And the LORD God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:18, 21-25

In the beginning when God created the world, the first person He made was man.

Then He saw that it was not good for him to dwell alone. And He made his woman for him.

In essence the man was made to accomplish a purpose. But for him to be effective, God saw that he needed a companion that looked like him. This means that man may find it almost impossible to accomplish his destiny without the woman.

Also, the destiny of the woman is hidden inside that of her man. That is the major reason why the woman is expected to submit to the man.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22-24

In the home therefore, the man is the first person. God made him first. God committed the family destiny into his hands. And God would hold him accountable for the family. He is the beginning of the family.

The woman comes immediately after him, in position. She was made for him. And he could not accomplish his destiny without her. Without the woman there can’t be a family.

The children are the benefits of marriage. Without them the home is complete. But they are the strength of the family.

These are the 3 pillars of the family. And I have arranged them in scriptural order.

Section One – The Man

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.Proverbs 18:22

The first step of union into marriage is taken by man. He finds his wife. He identifies her. He woos her. They agree together. Then he leaves his parents to cleave unto his wife. Nature, society, and even God expect events to happen like that.

However, there are a few aberrations to that.

Meanwhile, in this section consisting of 3 parts, I intend to speak on the responsibilities of the man in the home.

Part One - Husband to His Wife

Man has three(3) major responsibilities. The first one is that he is the husband to his wife.

There are 12 dimensions to this; each of which I represent in a chapter.

Chapter One: The Lover of His Wife

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:25-33

As the husband, your first responsibility as a man, is to love your wife above every other person.

For the purpose of this discourse, I want to list 11 qualities of the love of a man to his wife.

Be considerate of  her

As a man you must be considerate of your wife. You must be thinking about her always. Be concerned about her well-being. You are not expected to take decisions without thinking about her. In fact, that is one of the ways to recognise a married man. He does not take rash decisions. He goes home to brood over a suggestion, so he could discuss with his wife, who also has vested interest in his affairs.

As the husband your first responsibility as a man is to love your wife above every other person.

2.                 Tell her

This is one of the most difficult things for most men. You need to tell her about your love for her. Love grows and manifest when expressed verbally. I always find this difficult too. I always wonder why I still need to say it. But I have discovered that the more I say it, the more joy I see in my family. However tough our situation could be, it always become so bearable for my wife as soon as I express my love for her. Women are meant to be told regularly, it re-assures them.

3.                 Say good things about her

Every human being enjoys appreciation. We love to be told how good we are. Tell her good things about her. And you should announce good things about her to others, to her hearing.

4.                 Ignore her faults

No one is perfect. Everyone has body odour. If you love your wife, you will not concentrate on the errors of her person. Rather you will concentrate on the great ones. And it would amaze you what result you will get. No one concentrates on the fault in what he loves.

5.                 Don’t hurt her

You cannot destroy what you love. If your best car disappointed you on a special occasion; you are not likely to set it ablaze for that. Rather you would devote time and other resources to repair it. No one throws his phone into the forest because he received a bad call on it. Otherwise, he would be recognised as a lunatic. So also the man who hurts his wife. Do not hurt her in words. Do not behave unseemly to her.

Don’t be rude to her. And worst of all, do not raise your hand to beat her. Every man who beats his wife is an animal.

Don’t be rude to her. And worst of all, do not raise your hand to beat her. Every man who beats his wife is an animal.

6.                 Spend time with her

You don’t often have a grip on time when with someone you love. If you love your wife, you will look for every opportunity to be with her. It is strange for a man who loves his wife, to come home late after work. As a matter of fact, one of the greatest signs to know when a marriage is in crisis; is how quick they are to be away from each other.

Another one is how much they miss each other, when separated by circumstances beyond their control. Many times, you don’t even have things to say. You just want to be together.

7.                 Quick to resolve conflicts

I believe that it is normal to have conflicts once in a while. But love resolves all conflicts quickly. A man who loves his wife can not imagine separation. Therefore, he is eager to settle with her and move forward.

He takes the initiative. He would apologize when necessary. And when it becomes impossible for him to resolve the conflict, he allows others (e.g. Pastor) to help.

8.                 Give her the best

If you love your wife you will give her the best. Give her the best of your time. Give her the best of your properties. It is strange to starve your wife. I once knew a man who compelled his wife not to work. And whenever he wanted to punish her he would starve her of money and food. That is wicked. You wont do that to someone you love; not even a dog. When you travel, bring the best for her. If you need to make a decision between her and yourself, it is better to favour her. Make