Wise Wives Don’T Run: But Sometimes They Wanna!

By Gwendolyn Perry Honore

Maintaining a marriage has become a challenge of love against immaturity and selfishness. In order to find success in your marriage, you must learn the gift of patience, attentiveness, and forgiveness. Above all, you must establish a relationship with God.

Testimonies in this book will give witness that some women have found it easier to run and call it quits when complications surface. Some women have carried the burden of patience, regrets, and pangs of conscience, while others have discovered peace and a greater purpose.

You will not receive direct answers to problems, but you will be inspired to think prayerfully before you give up on that which can be years of happiness. Sometimes your mess turns into a message, and your test becomes a testimony. Sometimes, the best is yet to come!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 13, 2014
• ISBN: 9781493176243

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Copyright © 2014 by Dr. Gwendolyn Perry Honore.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-4931-5642-9

                eBook          978-1-4931-7624-3

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society, Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Rev. date: 03/13/2014

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CONTENTS

Is He Just A Man?

Disappointments Will Come

Is The Devil Whipping You?

Don’t Blame The Other Woman

Does Your Husband See Jesus In You?

Forgive Him And You Do Better!

Who Deceived Who?

Sex—Almost On Empty

After You Leave Your Husband, Who’s Next?

Don’t Pull Up Your Seeds

Words Hurt

Keep It In Your Own Tent!

Selfishness Gives Birth To Problems

Betrayal Stings

Don’t Worry

When It Appears He Doesn’t Love You Anymore

Who’s The Boss?

Too Much Change Can Shift The Love

Keeping It Together

What’s Prayers Got To Do With It!

Don’t Talk Negatively About Your Husband

Try Working Together

Don’t Just Settle For A Man

We Can Learn From Naomi And Ruth

You Might Miss Your Husband When He’s Gone

Marriage Is A Ministry

TESTIMONIES

Sometimes They Wanna Run!

He Left Me And The Word

He Didn’t Want To Work!

I Stayed Home—She Went With Him!

I Stole A Fool!

He Was Cute With A Lot Of Bad Qualities

He Was Too Young

He’s Too Jealous

He Counseled Me Into Bed

I Had A Bold Womanizer

Hit, Raped, And Stalked

I Never Had Proof

He Paid The Price

A Lot Of Credit And No Money

Too Much Company

He Used Me Up

He Was A Sincere Liar

He Was The Father Of Many

His Business Was In The Newspaper

He Tried To Kill Me

Fooled By The Working Late Lie

I’m Always Last

He Was A Rogue And A Liar!

We Could Have Been Happier

I Had Proof Of Another Woman

I’m Sorry Now

I Have A Selfish And Sickly Man

He Ignores Me

He Was In The Military

Time Can Change A Situation

Never Contributing But Ready For The Blessings

He Hates Me!

I Almost Hate Him!

Pregnant And Needed A Job

He Didn’t Want A Honeymoon With Me

No More Babies!

He Became The Man I Always Wanted

I Wasn’t Trying To Be The Man

He Had The Beer But Left The Baby

Caught In The Act

He Didn’t Want A Holy Wife

Stupid Arguments

He Shot Me!

I Thought We Were Good Friends

He Got A New Wife

Disappointed Too Soon

I Was Too Dark For His Parents

I Married Two Alcoholics

His Mom Ruled

He Was A Big Kid

I Was Too Young For Marriage

He’s Breaking Me!

He Gambled It All Away

We Don’t Communicate

He Ran The Streets

He Got His White Girlfriend Pregnant

I’m White And He’s Black

She E-Mailed Me About My Husband!

He Confided In His Girlfriend

The End—All Of A Sudden

I Was The One Who Messed Up

I Thought I Wanted This Man

My Reflections

Don’t

Marrimare

Just Be In Christ.

From My Heart To Yours

Faith Put To The Test

Nuggets From Sermons I’ve Heard Through The Years

The stories/testimonies in this book were contributed by different women who experienced marital issues. Situations, locations, and other details have been changed to protect the identity of women sharing their stories.

As you read the testimonies, remember that the devil’s attacks are old and used repeatedly against husband and wives.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

IS HE JUST A MAN?

Whether you want to face it now or later, disappointments are going to come into your marriage and into your home, and you must be able to stand in the face of the problems and frustrations.

Right now you may think you have the perfect husband, but be careful that you don’t put him on a pedestal because the image you have of him could fall or shatter.

When a man makes a mistake, he will sometimes use the lame excuse that boils down to I’m just a man! I’m human! Mark 14:38 (NIV) says that the spirit is willing, but the body is weak. When you experience problems with your spouse, you need to remember that you are not at war with the physical man, which is flesh and blood. You are at war with the principalities, powers, rulers of darkness of this world, and spiritual weakness. To break it down, you are fighting the devil or the evil working in that person. Unfortunately, your husband might be one who will just go with the flow. He will follow whatever evil thoughts or desires he acquires.

Spiritual weaknesses occur when the wife or husband is not prayed up or in tune with what God would have him or her do. A spouse who is not connected with the Holy Spirit will flare up when problems come, and various emotions will erupt. This type of person might become argumentative, use profanity, or speak repulsive and sometimes unforgivable words during a confrontation.

Spiritual weaknesses can also occur in a godly spouse, so it is important that you do not look at a man’s strength as to whether he can carry excess pounds or whether he can meet his financial obligations. The strength of a man, in this case, is his ability to control his ten fingers, two legs, two roving eyes, and one mouth. If a spouse would consider the consequences of ungodly actions, he or she would experience peace and harmony in the relationship. He or she must realize that when poor judgment is used in situations, one day the truth will come to the light. There is not much that will remain in the dark when a lifestyle caters to devilish acts. The devil wants your marriage to fail! He is not on your side!

If you are a woman who wants to save your marriage, you shouldn’t sit by and watch your marriage fall. If you are not praying, you need to start. Strongholds (adultery, drinking, fighting, anger, laziness, selfishness, etc.) are not just going to leave your relationship. They will grow into monstrous shapes and sizes unless you do something about them. You have to pray them down, one by one! Things may not change all at once, but they will change. Your prayers will strengthen your husband spiritually and can eventually keep him in your life and home.

If you truly believe that your husband is not saved, you should pray fervently for his salvation. Then if he gains a sincere relationship with God, he will come in and his ungodly and destructive behavior will stop; perhaps gradually, even if they don’t stop all at once. Your prayers should always be to ask God to wrap His arms around you and your husband and lead both of you on the path of righteousness. You are aware of the struggles and conflicts, you know what you are going through, and you know the changes you would like to see in your husband. Take time and talk to God.

As a righteous and virtuous woman, you have the power to knock down the walls that prevail in your marriage. Don’t forget about Joshua and the walls of Jericho. God told Joshua (Joshua 6) to go around the city of Jericho and take all his men of war. Joshua prayed and obeyed God, and the walls came tumbling down!

In the same way, God wants you to take authority over the walls that try to separate you and your spouse. You have to circle your problems with prayers and not allow your problems to circle you; problems will make you miserable. Like the man of God, you should have some trusted prayer warriors available to stand with you. Psalms 34:17 states that when the righteous cry, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The next scripture (verse 18) says that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. When the righteous people pray, things happen! Walls come down!

So get up and get ready! Get your prayer warriors lined up and pray the scriptures! Circle your husband with prayers in the morning, noon, and evening. This is war! Christians should be prepared to be warriors.

You must put on the whole armor of protection because the devil will try to make your life unbearable, and he will try to destroy you and take your family down. How do you beat Satan? You beat him right and left with the Word of God. Fight the good fight of faith and stand on the Word of God.

DISAPPOINTMENTS WILL COME

In the early stages of your marriage, everything seemed to be light and lovely. The little silly things your boyfriend said or did were funny and cute, and they didn’t bother you very much. Now the words he says as your husband and the things he does bores and irritates you.

Perhaps he once acted like a perfect gentleman. When you all walked to the car, he opened the door for you. When it was time for you to get out, he went around in his smooth bouncy way to open the door before you could touch the handle. Then he closed it politely behind you as you walked away. Now things have changed! He gets to the door on the driver’s side, clicks the remote button for your side, and gets in the car before you (on a clear or rainy day).

There were probably times he kissed you lightly on your cheek or lips each morning before he left for work and each afternoon when he returned home. Then little by little he began to bump or tap your face (not a kiss) more like a routine rather than an act of endearment.

What about the days when you all slept snuggly together? Your bodies were so close you could feel each breath the other one took. Now you all turn to opposite sides of the bed (to the very end) away from each other. Perhaps your spouse comes and goes as he pleases without a word to you, night or day, and you have become accustomed to his unpredictable schedule.

His failure to show you love, attention, and consideration makes you feel rejected and sometimes you tend to have low self-esteem. How did this happen? You may have asked yourself. Then you reason, We were so much in love. The truth is that you couldn’t imagine the bad days ahead with the man you loved. You didn’t go into the marriage thinking that every day was going to be a honeymoon. You consider yourself a sensible woman; you didn’t expect to marry a man who would treat you like muck, reject you and have extramarital affairs.

Generally, a woman will marry a man she respects and trusts. She doesn’t take company with a man who has no intentions of being her friend, provider, and protector. She doesn’t expect to end up with a man who will change so drastically after a beautiful courtship, then later make their marital relationship unbearable for the other.

Problems and changes are going to come into a relationship, but couples must be willing to work the problems out together, not hide out in front of the television, kitchen, or away from home.

A woman who has a husband who is unreasonable and refuses to be kind should not let his attitude change her from living a holy and prayer-led life. She must continue to trust God because the day will come when he will need the wife more than she will need him. God has your back when your life is acceptable to Him.

Don’t let the unpleasant situations in your life throw you or toss you up, around, and into despair. Pray about the smallest things. Have confidence in Jesus! He says that he shall keep thy foot (Psalm 121:3). He wants you to stand and he will hold you up when the wickedness comes (headaches, disappointments, adultery, financial problems, etc.) The scripture states that God will be your confidence. Surely, if God has hold of your foot, nothing can knock you down. Nothing!

IS THE DEVIL WHIPPING YOU?

Don’t try to convert your husband (try to make him live holy) if you are not living righteously. Too many wives have said, I have been praying for that man for years, but he is still drinking, won’t go to church, runs around, and lies. Women across the country have complained about the selfishness and ungodliness of their husbands.

After praying for years, a woman may continue to observe negative behavior in her mate, and instead of things looking better, often things will look worse and actually be worse. But if you have prayed over the years for your husband and don’t see positive results, something could not only be wrong with him, something could be wrong with you.

In Acts 19, there is an account about the Seven Sons of Sceva. In this chapter, there was a man who tried to come against demons in the name of Jesus, a Savior he did not know. The scriptures say that the demons confronted the man and said, Jesus, I know, and I know about Paul, but who you are? Then the man who had the evil spirit jumped on them and overpowered them. He gave them such a beating they ran out naked and bleeding.

Many wives will call on the Lord about their spouses, but they don’t really know Him. Therefore, the demons will eventually whip them into despair. No one should be praying fervently and not see results. The Lord is far from those who practice evil, but he hears the prayers of the righteous.

It is sad to think that when a wife is praying, demons are laughing and saying, Who are you to try to come in the name of Jesus? As a wife, you should ask yourself, "Do demons see me as a sinner or as a