It's Not About the Icing

By Dawn Ellen Kiss

Scrape that glitz and glimmer off and what do you have? The foundation of your life... who you really are. It's not about the Icing. Its about the foundation. So I ask you.... what kind of cake are you? What kind would you really like to be? How did you get to where you are and do you really want to stay there? Please... look at your life. What does the icing look like? Is it bitter? Is it sweet? At this point in your life, is it bitter sweet? Only you can decide what kind of cake you will be and what type of icing you will allow to decorate your life.

Choose wisely.... for you are worth it! You matter! Welcome to "It's Not about the Icing". Come find yourself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 10, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312180406

Book preview

It's Not About the Icing

It’s Not about the Icing

First Edition

Dawn Ellen Kiss

2013

It’s Not about the Icing

First Edition

Kiss, Dawn Ellen, 1955-

Copyright © 2013 by Dawn Ellen Kiss

TXu 1-893-322

All rights reserved.  No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in a any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

ISBN: 978-1-312-18040-6

Originally printed and bound in New Jersey, USA 2012

Edited by Ellen Tweed

Text design and layout by Melissa Ann Kiss

Cover by Richard G. Walker

Welcome

This book will give women, and men, an analogy between themselves and different types of cakes.  From years of comfort eating, I’ve decided that it’s no longer necessary to eat the cake and put on all that weight. Instead I’ve gotten into the habit of figuring out what kind of cake I feel like, and if I don't like what I feel, I can always work my way into a cake feeling that I do like.  My motto:   If I can define it … I can find it ... in myself!   I can be anything I want to be at any given moment of the day or night. If I can find understanding of myself, balance, and serenity in this way of life… so can you.  Therefore, I offer you It’s Not about the Icing.

Growing up, I always wanted to be one of my Grandfather’s cream puffs.  His cream puffs everyone loved!  I was never one of them.  I always felt like one of those dreaded fruit cakes that no one wants as a Christmas gift!

I’ve learned over the years that it’s not about the icing.  It’s about the cake.  The icing is all the stuff that goes on in my life, everything in my outside world… the material world.  The cake is my foundation, who I am at any given moment in my life.  I may not be able to do anything about the icing, but I can create any kind of cake I want to.  If I find that I’ve slipped into a type that isn’t right for who I truly am, all I need to do is shift my focus and create a better cake, one that reflects the real me.  My moods change.  My life has had so many changes.  My friends change.  All that I am truly guaranteed is that there will be constant change within my world.  So how could I possibly be the same throughout all of it?  I can’t!  Yet, I can recognize where I am and where I want to be.

Come with me on a journey of calorie free cakes.  See how much life can truly change and how I managed to make light of so much without getting weighed down in the icing.  Welcome to my world….

Over the years, I’ve met many people.  So many of them seemed lost in their lives.  They were searching for something, something to make their lives easier.  From battling with my own life, I started offering a technique that had become a way of life for me.  It tended to make light of some times that were very hard for me.  Being able to bring this type of humor into others' lives was a gift I didn’t want to waste. 

As people came in my shop door I started sharing some of my experiences with them.  The ladies easily accepted this way of living.  For most of us, comfort eating is a way of life.  I learned the hard way that it is a way of life I can’t afford to live.  The instant gratification was wonderful.  The extra weight gain in areas where it wasn’t welcome was not!  Lord knew I was well known in the bakery section of any store.  So I started applying that knowledge to my life in another way.  I turned that sweet knowledge into wonderful wisdom that never landed on the thighs or elsewhere where it really wasn’t wanted.

I’d like to share with you now some of the experiences I’ve had and that others have shared with me.  Many of them have been women, yet men have been able to work with this method with wonderful results too. 

Chapter 1

Consider Rachel, for example.   She was an abused woman trying to get her life back together.  She didn’t feel like any kind of cake.  She felt like this….

You know those loaves of bread my Grandma used to make.  The ones that she would beat the crap out of (knead) for a good 20 minutes or so.  Well, that’s what I feel like!  And I don’t want to!

We sat and talked for a long time, and she realized that each time she applied makeup to cover the bruises she was putting icing on the wounds so the world wouldn’t see them.

It’s not about the icing.  It’s about the cake.  She didn’t even feel like a cake.  So that’s where we started.  We broke down her life into pieces.  What were the good years?  What kind of cake were they?  What were the worst years and would she even want to eat that cake again?  Where did she want to be in a few months and what would that feel like?  What kind of cake could possibly describe where she wanted to be? 

Each piece that was created came from a different type of cake.  She started with her Wedding Cake.  The first slice was wonderful.  Then it was frozen for that first year, as all wedding cakes are.  Thawed out it wasn’t as good as when it was first made.  The icing was a little bitter.  The cake wasn’t as soft.  Then we looked at her life, and the icing was a little bitter, and her life wasn’t as soft as when the marriage started. 

The next piece was more like a lemon chiffon cake.  A little bit tart but still okay to swallow.  So was her life.  It was becoming a little more bitter each day, yet still doable… not too bad to swallow. 

The next piece was similar to a red velvet cake.  There were things in the middle that would be hidden, if the cake were still whole.  On the outside her marriage looked elegant and strong.  Rachel and her husband would go out to all the fine restaurants and plays.  On the inside, there were things being hidden within the