Diamonds in the Rough: A Quick Guide to Dating and Relationships

By Melanie P. Butler

Who and what you allow in your life is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. Let that sink in … 

 

After surviving an abusive marriage and toxic relationships during her younger years, author Melanie Butler has learned valuable lessons and gained insight on the pitfalls of dating and relationships. Seven children later and trained as a sexual assault/domestic violence advocate, she sees first-hand what the younger generation faces while navigating the dating world. 

 

Recognizing red flags and trusting that gut feeling seem to be things of the past, but Melanie hopes to bring awareness and teach you to trust your instinct when something isn't quite right, forcing you to ask:

 

•    What do you think of yourself? 
•    Are you receiving the treatment you desire? 
•    Why are you continually accepting less than what you feel you deserve? 

 

With Diamonds in the Rough, you will reflect and answer these questions honestly and with intention. No more being afraid to use your voice or just going with the flow to make others happy while you're dying inside. May you be empowered to take a stand for you and all that you desire. From the darkness of a lump of coal, may you emerge as a Diamond.
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Melanie P. Butler
• Release date: Nov 9, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393460718

Book preview

DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH: A QUICK GUIDE TO DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS

This publication is designed to educate and provide general information regarding the subject matter based on the author’s experiences. It is published with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher is engaged in rendering professional counseling services. Each situation is different, and the advice should be tailored to particular circumstances.

DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH: A QUICK GUIDE TO DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS

Copyright © 2020 Melanie P. Butler

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in written form from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

Paperback ISBN-13: 978-0-578-76279-1

Published by Melanie P. Butler

Macomb, Illinois

Printed in the United States of America

First Edition 2020

Design: Make Your Mark Publishing Solutions

Editing: Make Your Mark Publishing Solutions

Contents

Acknowledgements

Dedication

Introduction

Chapter 1 If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail

Chapter 2 Feathered Diamond

Chapter 3 Clarity

Chapter 4 Faceting and Polishing

Epilogue

About the Author

Acknowledgements

My children are my source of motivation to achieve all of my dreams, and they’ve been with me through the roughest times. My oldest sister, Nicole J. Butler, is always a huge help with whatever project I am working on, including this book. Thanks, big sis, for leading by example and accomplishing your dreams, showing me that anything I put my mind to I, too, can achieve.

Dedication

To my seven children: Brandon, Brandii, Jordan, Justin, Melia, Maliq, and Malachi;

and to my oldest sister, Nicole J. Butler

Introduction

What is it that drives young women to ignore red flags and lower their standards when dealing with men and relationships? Do you not think you deserve better? Do you not feel you’re worthy of someone who will treat you with dignity and respect? How are you carrying yourself? What messages or signals are you sending these men? What is broken in you, and how did you get to this point in your life?

These are all questions I ask my daughter. We have very open and honest conversations about what’s going on in her life, and at times, I have felt like a broken record, screaming the exact same things, hoping she catches on. I believe she will eventually catch on and pray she does quickly, but until she does, I’m here to listen when she needs to vent, support her when she needs support, and most importantly, never give up hope that she will realize her worth and walk in her purpose with her head held high while rejecting anything and anyone who is not conducive to her peace and happiness. My hopes, thoughts, and prayers are with all of you Diamonds in the Rough.

A seemingly insignificant lump of coal that many may disregard has so much more value than the naked eye can perceive. Once that lump of coal has gone through the process to reveal the beautiful diamond within, it shines brightly for all to see. You, too, will shine brightly after going through your process of healing and enlightenment. The power and greatness you possess will be revealed. As you read, may you be enlightened and empowered to find your voice and reject anything and anyone that compromises your peace of mind and safety.

CHAPTER 1

If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail

Standards

Be honest, if you were able to choose your ideal man, what qualities would he possess? Think long and hard, and make a list. What are total deal breakers for you? You must have standards of what you will and won’t accept, or you’ll wind up falling for anything the wind blows by. I think this is a huge problem with today’s generation; no standards are being set. Young ladies aren’t being taught that they don’t have to accept every flawed man who shows interest in them. If no one else has ever told you, I will: You have every right to be selective in who you choose to spend time with. You are valuable and deserve to be treated as such.

The first step is believing you are worthy of exactly what you’ll write down on your list of standards. If you don’t feel you are worthy, it’s time to work on yourself. Working on yourself can entail going to therapy and learning to love and value yourself. Self-love is important; I can’t stress this enough. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll accept anything anyone has to dish out, even scraps. For example, here is a list of standards some ladies would find suitable: non-smoker, non-drinker, no kids, gainfully employed, good credit, churchgoing, has their own home/apartment, no criminal record, no drug use, has their own reliable vehicle.

If this is your list of standards, what will