The Power of a Woman: That Knows Her Worth

By M.L. Alcindor

M.L. Alcindor encourages you to step outside the box society has chosen to place you in, and embrace your individuality. You determine who you are and what you achieve in this life. You determine how your story will be told, how you will be remembered, and the legacy you will leave for your family, so make it count. We all have a gift to contribute to this world, you can only tap into that gift when you learn to love yourself, know your worth, and unapologetically express the woman you are and will become. You can conquer any obstacle when you believe in yourself and reject any thoughts or individuals that encourage feelings of negativity, victimhood, inferiority, or oppression. Reclaim control of your life, always stand firm in your morals and values. A woman that knows her worth is unstoppable. Do you know your worth? Are you the best version of you? It's time to increase your standards, take some initiative, and get what you want out of life. Every woman is uniquely beautiful and perfect in her own way and is worthy of having the best this world has to offer.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Nov 13, 2020
• ISBN: 9781734669718

Book preview

cover.jpg

© M.L. Alcindor 2020

ISBN: 978-1-73466-970-1

eBook ISBN: 978-1-73466-971-8

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: Cheating

Chapter 2: Music

Chapter 3: Webster

Chapter 4: With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

Chapter 5: Love and Value Yourself

Chapter 6: The Appearance of a Good Man

Chapter 7: Boss Moves

Chapter 8: The Double Standard

Chapter 9: You Know Best

Chapter 10: Unhappiness Snowball

Chapter 11: How to Hurt a Man

Chapter 12: I’m Not a Relationship Expert

Chapter 13: Stop Sipping the Tea

Chapter 14: Your All Is Enough

Chapter 15: Exposure Matters

Chapter 16: Who Are You?

Chapter 17: Make the Best of the Hand You are Dealt

Chapter 18: Confidence and Determination

Thank You

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: M.l. Alcindor

Introduction

I decided to write this book to speak to a broad range of women and discuss the power we possess, but have so willingly abandoned. From a relationship perspective, we have accepted the notion that there are no more good men. It may be true that there is a shortage of good men, but this is merely a consequence of the actions and attitudes of women. We have made it difficult to find a good man. We all reach a certain age, place, or moment in life where we crave a man that loves us, appreciates us, works hard, is family-oriented, is financially stable, and pleases us sexually. I know that may seem like a lot for which to ask, but it’s not. The problem is that before we reach that specific age, place, or moment in life, where we desire a meaningful relationship with a good man, we’re just having a good time and playing the field. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being young, enjoying your youth, and not thinking about settling down. The issue occurs when we’re just playing the field and having a good time. The type of men we desire is the polar opposite of that good man we will want in the not-so-distant future. I, myself, am also guilty of contributing to the lack of suitable men, which is why I say We. When I say We, I mean us, women, as a whole. I’m not writing to point fingers. I’m writing because I want to make a difference. I want all women to know their worth and stop encouraging the qualities we will desire least in a lifelong mate.

During the carefree stage of our lives, we just want to have fun. We want the guy that’s a bad boy, thug, or rebel—the guy that’s no good for us. We want the guy of whom our parents would never approve, or the guy whose only good quality is that he pleases us sexually. These relationships are usually like a chaotic rollercoaster ride—the ups and downs are crazy and frequent, and we love it. In these relationships, we will fight, cry, smile, have sex, laugh, feel sad, and say goodbye all within one hour. As soon as he leaves and doesn’t answer our phone call or return a phone call in a timely manner (which is normally the case because he is the rebel, remember), we repeat the cycle—fight, cry, smile, etc. I think you get the point. It’s an emotional rollercoaster. It drives us crazy, but at that stage in life, we love the thrill and uncertainty of it. I don’t know why, but we just do. It’s like going to a theme park everyday riding on all the rollercoasters. At first, it’s fun, but then you get tired of it. The rides no longer give you that rush and you realize that there is more to life than just riding rollercoasters on a daily basis. Once we get over the stage where we want to explore and have fun, we mature, we go to or finish college, we get a career or job, and then we want stability, love, and affection. These are things that a no-good man cannot provide.

While we were enjoying life on that emotional rollercoaster, the bad boy was living up to his title, doing illegal activities, getting in trouble, and basically being an outlaw, which made him so appealing to us in the first place. We tend to create men with whom no successful or self-respecting woman would want to settle down with. The reason I say we create men is because these guys do illegal and immoral activities to attract women, money (which gets them women), and recognition as a bad boy, thug, or rebel (which is appealing to women during their rollercoaster thrill stage). Being a bad boy doesn’t come with work experience that you can put on a résumé, a medical insurance, or a 401K. Its benefits consist of unstable nontaxable income, criminal records, jail/prison time, street credibility, risky life choices, and the possibility of death. When a woman gets into her late twenties or thirties, and still hasn’t found a good man to fulfill her needs, she tends to settle. My goal is to bring awareness to this idiotic cycle so that more of us have the opportunity to find meaningful relationships and opportunities in life. Women have the power to change/control a lot of the things that happen in our relationships and the world. Many of us are unaware of our ability to create change or have just decided to accept the status quo. This book is my public service announcement, my soap box, my hope for change.

Throughout this book, I will discuss several different issues that we as women face. These issues in my opinion contribute to our self-esteem, finances, relationships, and accomplishments. All of these issues can be corrected when you know your worth. If we all work together, we can increase our ability to become successful and get the man that’s sculptured to fit our needs. Some of these issues may seem small to some of you. It may seem that it will make little to no difference, but when looking at the picture as a whole, even the minutest issue can have a huge impact. If we as women want better, we have to do better. We can’t continue to call men dogs and say, There are no more good men, when we are the ones setting the standards. I have three daughters, and looking at the world around me, the way that young women and young men are being raised and portrayed, I fear that there will be no selection of genuine faithful, honorable, respectful men from which my daughters can choose.

Chapter 1:

Cheating

I have been in many relationships. I have had my heart broken plenty of times, and I can say that ninety-five percent of those heartbreaks were because the man was a lying cheater. The reality with which we must come to grips is that in order for a man to cheat, another woman had to be involved, so in a sense, we are sabotaging each other’s relationships. I hope this book helps women become more united and uplifting to one another. Since this is one of the major issues that impact our relationships, it will be the first issue I discuss.

I’m not writing this book to make friends, so I’m going to be completely honest. We will never be able to address the real issues if we sugarcoat, tiptoe around, or attempt not to offend anyone. With that being said, here we go. What is cheating? Cheating is to deceive or mislead someone, especially for personal gain. From a relationship point of view, cheating is to have a sexual or an emotional relationship with someone other than your spouse or significant other. This morning I was listening to a radio show and the topic was, Whose fault is it when a married man cheats on his wife? The cheater or the cheatee? When a man marries a woman, he makes a commitment to that woman. It’s true that to some men, those vows mean nothing, and they will still cheat. So yes, it would be that man’s decision or fault if he decides to cheat on his wife. I am a firm believer that a man should not marry a woman if that woman cannot please him on every aspect of their relationship (at least aspects of the relationship that are most important to that man, because no one is perfect). I know a lot of men say their wives treated them better before getting married, and once they became husband and wife, things changed. Even if this is the case, the solution should not be for the man to cheat. The solution is for the man to work on his marriage or relationship by communicating to his wife or girlfriend regarding the issues within the relationship. If he has tried to communicate with his wife and his needs are being ignored, then he has the option to leave that relationship. I’m not saying that whenever you have an issue within your relationship you should leave. Of course, you should try and work it out, talk it through, or even go to counseling if you feel that would help. Once all attempts to fix the relationship have failed and there is no hope left for the relationship, then it is time to move on and find someone who can make you happy. No one deserves to be in an unhappy relationship, and that applies to both men and women. So yes, it is the man’s fault if he decides to cheat while in a relationship, but the woman with whom he is cheating also shares some of the blame if she knew the man is in a relationship.

Although communication would be the correct way to address issues within the relationship, most men are bad at communicating and don’t decide to leave the relationship even after communication and all other efforts have failed to remedy their issues. In my experience and observations of men, I have realized that men have difficulties when it comes to ending relationships. They are professionals at initiating relationships, which is the main reason why men cheat. A man would rather go out and start a whole new relationship, than tell his current woman that their relationship has reached its end and he no longer wants to be with her. Take a moment to think about these questions—How many times have you been dumped by a man? How many of your female siblings, family members, friends, classmates, or coworkers have been dumped by a man? In most relationships, the woman