The W&H Relationship DOSSIER
– and recognising if it’s time to let go
LOVE IN MIDLIFE making relationships work
It all seemed so straightforward when we were younger. If you were lucky, you’d finally fall in love, make a home, start a family and live happily ever after. Surely the hard stuff was done and dusted once you had met The One? But then, you discover life isn’t that easy.
The truth is, you are a different woman in your 40s, 50s and 60s. And the man you thought you’d be committed to for life changes too. Some couples explore this new phase together and feel closer than they have done for years. Others change in different ways and find themselves growing apart.
You should treat your partner as well as you treat your friends
The age of 45 to 49 can be a particular danger zone, as it’s the most common age for couples to divorce. And there’s another phenomenon of ‘silver splitters’ who call it a day in their 60s. This desire for change is primarily driven by women, citing unreasonable behaviour as the most common grounds for divorce.
The causes can include serious issues such as domestic violence. But lawyers say there are many cases where the final straw becomes someone’s inability to empty (or load!) the dishwasher, years of snoring or chewing too loudly. According to relationship expert Susan Quilliam, one of the biggest problems in longterm relationships is communication.
‘Sometimes my clients don’t think about the unloving way they are speaking to each other because they take each other for granted. They don’t even realise they are doing it because they feel so secure.
‘They come in for sessions and say they really love each
