Trust Issues in Relationships: Overcome Insecurity Caused by Painful Past Betrayals from Family and Loved Ones. A Beginner’s Guide to Eliminating Jealousy, Anxiety and Needy or Attached Behavior

By Kara Lawrence

The #1 Reason Why You Have Trust Issues and Why Feeling Messed Up Doesn't Mean You'll Never Find Real Love

 

Let's face it – we're all messed up. Unless you've never been in a relationship before or you don't have questionable family dynamics, chances are that some type of betrayal has happened in your life.

 

So, what do we do about such problems?

 

We usually dump all of that baggage on people who have nothing to do with our screwed up past.

 

Raise your hand if you've been betrayed before and you're taking it out on your current partner now.

 

You're not alone!

 

Betrayal trauma makes us many unpleasant things – jealous, anxious, whiny, needy, insecure...

 

Trust issues are detrimental for one more key reason: self-sabotage. You don't want to be hurt ever again, which is why you do your best to kill the potential for something serious before it has even happened.

 

Sound familiar?

 

Do you envision yourself dying alone, surrounded by a thousand cats? Your outcome doesn't have to be this grim.

 

Betrayal trauma hurts, whether it has been inflicted on you by a parent, a friend, or a romantic partner. This, however, doesn't mean you'll never get over it or that you'll never discover real love.

 

In Trust Issues in Relationships, you will discover:

• Why trusting is so hard but is also the greatest thing on earth
• The #1 reason why you have trust issues and what you can do to fix it
• The F-word in the world of betrayal trauma (that stands for forgiveness, get your mind out of the gutter!)
• Why sweeping trauma under the carpet never works, and why you have to face your issues
• Anxious attachment and how it can kill a good relationship
• One exercise psychologists believe is vital for building trust with your partner
• The beauty of vulnerability and openness
• 10 signs your trust issues have really messed you up

And much more.

 

Right now, it may seem as if the hurt is never going to end.

 

After all, you've been cheated so many times in the past that history is bound to repeat itself, isn't it?

 

Not if you break the vicious cycle.

 

Understand that you have agency and can say: "Enough!" Being your own advocate and taking charge can help you understand insecurities, work through past trauma, and get your partner involved in the process.

 

You deserve love and can make wholesomeness happen, no matter how damaged you've been before.

 

Putting an end to trust issues depends on your inner motivation. If you're ready to make the switch to happiness and fulfillment, add this book to your cart right away!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kara Lawrence
• Release date: Aug 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393956587

Book preview

Trust Issues in Relationships

Overcome Insecurity Caused by Painful Past Betrayals from Family and Loved Ones. A Beginner’s Guide to Restoring Trust by Eliminating Jealousy, Anxiety, and Needy or Attached Behavior

Kara Lawrence

© Copyright 2020 - All rights reserved.

The content contained within this book may not be reproduced, duplicated or transmitted without direct written permission from the author or the publisher.

Under no circumstances will any blame or legal responsibility be held against the publisher, or author, for any damages, reparation, or monetary loss due to the information contained within this book, either directly or indirectly.

Legal Notice:

This book is copyright protected. It is only for personal use. You cannot amend, distribute, sell, use, quote or paraphrase any part, or the content within this book, without the consent of the author or publisher.

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Please note the information contained within this document is for educational and entertainment purposes only. All effort has been executed to present accurate, up to date, reliable, complete information. No warranties of any kind are declared or implied. Readers acknowledge that the author is not engaged in the rendering of legal, financial, medical or professional advice. The content within this book has been derived from various sources. Please consult a licensed professional before attempting any techniques outlined in this book.

By reading this document, the reader agrees that under no circumstances is the author responsible for any losses, direct or indirect, that are incurred as a result of the use of the information contained within this document, including, but not limited to, errors, omissions, or inaccuracies.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: Why You Should Never Sweep Betrayal Trauma Under the Carpet

What is Betrayal Trauma?

Why Avoiding it Doesn’t Work

Healing is Possible

Chapter 2: 10 Signs You Haven’t Dealt with Past Trust Issues

The Signs to Look For

Chapter 3: Your Attachment Style is a Product of Your History

Anxious Attachment and Past Betrayal

Moving On with Your Life

Chapter 4: Turning Insecurities Around

Strategies

Chapter 5: The Pillars of Wholesome Communication

Express Your Insecurities

Learn the Rules of Honest Communication

Other Essentials to Build Trust

Chapter 6: Forgiveness: The Ultimate Formula for Your Happily Ever After

The Benefits of Forgiveness

Healing Before You Forgive

Important Tips to Stay Genuine

Chapter 7: A Few More Steps for Building a Relationship That Makes You Fulfilled and Secure

Conclusion

References

Introduction

A sk no guarantees, ask for no security, there was never such an animal. And if there were, it would be related to the great sloth which hangs upside down in a tree all day every day, sleeping its life away. —Ray Bradbury

Your trust issues stem from real issues that have caused you to feel insecure or uncertain. Whether you grew up in an unstable household or you have experienced romantic betrayal in the past, trust issues can make an appearance in a bold way. Not only is this difficult for you to deal with but it can also get in the way of you maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. It becomes frustrating when you know the quality of your relationship can be better but you continue to feel unhappy. Alternatively, you might come to the realization that you are stuck in a relationship that isn’t good for you. Because of your attachment issues, you aren’t able to end the relationship and move on. These problems can take their toll on your emotional health.

Maybe you are single, desiring a relationship. But no matter what you try, you are not met with success because you are too afraid of getting hurt. While you know that there are a certain type of people that will definitely hurt you because they have bad intentions, you still might gravitate toward them because this is all that you know. No matter what is holding you back, you deserve to feel wonderful in your relationship. By working through your challenges and addressing any emotional concerns, you will be a loving and available partner for the right person.

If you are ready to make some positive changes in your love life, allow this book to guide you. Some of the benefits you will experience include:

●  How to determine your attachment style

●  Understanding how much emotional baggage you are carrying

●  Determining if your emotional baggage is ruining the chances of success for your relationship

●  Explaining your insecure behaviors in your relationship

●  How to start working on your self-esteem

●  How to overcome the pain of past betrayal

●  Learning the effects of being betrayed by a loved one in the past

●  How to tell if you are suffering from a past traumatic experience

●  Identifying the source of your insecurities

●  Learning healthy communication approaches to strengthen your bond with your partner

●  How to know when a relationship needs to end

Before you start feeling down on yourself for experiencing insecurity and trust issues, understand you are not the only one who feels this way. In 2016, a study done on couples in the U.K. revealed that 10% of married women do not trust their partners. It went on to reveal that 9% of women check their partner’s social media accounts. Another study that was done in 2013 showcased that one in three women go through their partner’s cell phone.

As time goes on, research shows that trust issues are continually on the rise. Modern society and the way it has evolved might be one explanation but another stems from your inability to handle your past emotional baggage. As long as you let it sit, it is going to impact you negatively until you find an outlet.

When you have a healthy way to express yourself, even your pain, you will feel a lot more stable and secure in your relationship. There should be no need to go through your partner’s phone or accounts because this sets you up with a foundation of distrust. You must be able to secure your thoughts and listen to your partner’s words or actions to give you reassurance. No matter how well you think your relationship functions, it is not going to last if there are underlying trust issues that aren’t being addressed. Admitting that you are experiencing them can be hard, but it is a vital step.

You deserve to have a relationship that fulfills you. When you are with someone, the person you are with should make you feel empowered and beautiful. If you ever feel you have to prove yourself constantly, then something is wrong. By pinpointing the things that make you unhappy, you will be able to find clarity and solutions. This proves to be a helpful way to handle any issue you encounter in your relationship. At the end of the day, communication and honesty are going to get you far. While it might hurt to think about the truth, you must know exactly what is going on so you can learn to accept it.

With that said, however, never jump to conclusions, as this is only going to hurt your relationship further. If you let your anxious thoughts and insecurities take over, you might end up imagining the worst possible scenario, when nothing even close is occurring. You need to work on uplifting yourself to give yourself confidence. When you can be confident in who you are, you will be a lot more easygoing in your relationship. There will be no more need to wonder what your partner is doing and if they are being honest with you. After you gain all of this valuable relationship knowledge, you will feel inspired to make your relationship the best it can be.

If you’re currently single, you will have the courage to put yourself out there and to find a suitable partner. There is a lot to gain when you are sick and tired of your trust issues ruining the romance in your life. Once you get that carefree feeling back, you will be glad you made the commitment to making these changes.

Chapter 1: Why You Should Never Sweep Betrayal Trauma Under the Carpet

Sometimes, it feels easier to ignore betrayal than to address it. When you delay dealing with the painful feelings it brings up, it might seem like you are doing yourself a favor. What you are actually doing is repressing negative memories that will end up rising to the surface again at a later time. This is going to hinder you because you are only delaying your healing process. From being cheated on to being neglected by your parents, there are many different ways in which you can feel betrayal. No matter how it happens to you, it doesn’t hurt any less.

In this chapter, I will help you understand where your emotional trauma comes from and how long it has been plaguing you. From there, I’ll guide you to seek a solution that will allow you to finally address this trauma and move forward.

What is Betrayal Trauma?

WHEN YOU ENTER A ROMANTIC relationship, you are forming an incredibly close bond with another person. While you are in this relationship, you share things with your partner that you would not share with anyone else. From your secrets to intimacy, you should feel comfortable doing so while you are together. Often, the routine of being together brings safety to your life. When you feel this safety, you feel that you always have support in anything you do. A healthy relationship can be a very motivational and uplifting element in your life.

In some ways, close family bonds can also provide you safety. While you are not experiencing the romantic aspects of the dynamic, you still have that sense of trust and safety present. This is why certain family betrayals can often hurt just as bad as a breakup. You are still entirely invested in this person, whether they are your caregiver or your sibling. You get to know one another on a very personal level that the average person does not get the chance to experience.

No matter what type of interpersonal relationship you have,