Anger Management for Parents - Calm Your Reactive Emotions and Respond with Less Frustration to Raise Happy and Healthy Kids!

By Kara Lawrence

Does watching your child lose their temper feel like looking into a mirror?

 

Your children look to you for everything; from lunch money and homework help, to impulse control and emotional regulation. You are the model by which they set their standards.

 

So when it comes to anger management, are you demonstrating model behavior?

 

If the answer is no, you're not alone. Even us parents need help learning how to control our emotional responses, especially when it comes to feeling frustrated with our offspring.

 

Anger Management for Parents provides you with the necessary tools to help you calm your reactive emotions and formulate a clear-headed response that will ensure your children grow up in a happy, healthy environment.

 

Take a deep breath and allow this book to show you how to:

 

• Recognize the common causes of anger in parents, and the effects your temper has on the development of your children
• Make a plan for managing your anger by reflecting, identifying, and taking responsibility for your emotions
• Effectively respond to your child's tantrums and understand the causes behind that behavior
• Reroute your impulsive anger into a more productive, active response by focusing on positive parenting
• Engage in social emotional learning that will have you and your child more in tune with each other's feelings

Make your home a safer and more accepting place for the emotions of every member of your family.

 

Show your child just how much you care with Anger Management for Parents!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kara Lawrence
• Release date: Jan 12, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201133610

Book preview

Table of Contents

Introduction: Anger Management in Parenting

Chapter 1: What's the Deal with Anger?

The Common Causes of Anger in Parents

It's How You Were Raised

When You Reach Your Threshold Because You are Overwhelmed

When Your Child Feels Angry or Frustrated Too

When You Feel Like Nothing You're Doing is Working

Other Common Causes

How Do Parents Manifest Anger

Yelling

Hitting

Giving Harsh Punishments

The Effects of Parental Anger on Children

Poor Mental and Physical Health

Your Child Will Live in Constant Fear

Difficulty Expressing Emotions

Your Child Will Also Have Problems With Anger

Your Child Will Get Too Used to Your Anger

Your Child May Develop Problems in the Future

Other Adverse Effects

Chapter 2: Getting Started With Anger Management

Look Out for These Signs

Physical Signs

Emotional and Behavioral Signs

The Thermometer Theory

Do You Need Professional Help?

Chapter 3: The Basics of Anger Management

Make a Plan

Make a Commitment First

Prepare Yourself Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally

Make a List of Things You Want to Change

Make a List of How You Will Handle Your Anger

If Possible, Involve Your Child in the Planning Stage

Continue to Look for Ways to Deal with Your Anger

Be Flexible With Your Plan

Reflect on Your Anger

Learn How to Identify Your Anger

Think About Your Triggers

Think About the Situations That Make You Angry

Learn How to Accept and Take Responsibility for Your Anger

Practice Self-Kindness

Learn How to Forgive Yourself

Try Not to Beat Yourself Up All the Time

Pay Attention to Your Thoughts

Make Self-Care Your Priority

Take a Break When You Need to

Make a Conscious Choice to Connect With Your Child

Surround Yourself and Your Child with Supportive and People

Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes and Fix Them

Deal With Your Anger

Accept Your Anger

Take a Few Deep Breaths

Try Different Ways to Calm Yourself Down

Learn How to Accept Your Child

Choose Your Words Carefully

Stop Yourself Before You Do Something You Will Regret

Be Consistent

Use I Messages

Chapter 4: Dealing with the Dreaded Tantrums

What Are Tantrums and What Causes Them?

When a Child Cannot Communicate Verbally

When a Child Engages in a Power Struggle

When a Child Gets Into a Fight with Another Child

When a Child Isn't Feeling Well

Other Possible Causes

Knowing When Tantrums Are About to Start

Your Child is Struggling With Something

Your Child Is Losing Focus

Your Child's Body Becomes Tense

Your Child is Showing Other Physical Signs of Frustration

Your Child is Raising Their Voice

Your Child Starts Hitting, Kicking, or Biting

Your Child Starts Crying

Things You Should NOT Do

Not Sharing Your Feelings With Your Child

Saying That Your Child's Behavior Is Making You Feel Sad

Invalidating Your Child's Emotions or Perceptions

Using Sarcasm

Paying Too Much Attention to Your Child

Lying to Your Child to Stop Their Tantrum

Threatening or Bribing Your Child

Taking Things Personally

Trying to Console Your Child

Tips for Dealing With Tantrums

Be Prepared

Stay Calm

Try to Understand Why the Tantrum Is Happening

Deal With Aggressive Behavior First

Give Short, Direct Instructions

Move Your Child Away From Prying Eyes

Help Your Child Put Their Feelings Into Words

If Your Child Can Talk, Listen Attentively

Allow Your Child to Feel Their Anger

Distract Your Child

Avoid Punishments

Don't Dwell on the Tantrum

Know What to do Next

Yes, Older Children and Teens Throw Tantrums Too

Be Calm, Kind, and Sensitive

Find Out Their Triggers

Don't Get Hooked Into Your Child's Tantrum

Help Your Child Through Their Tantrum

Talk When You Are Both Calm

Discuss Their Behavior

Agree on the Consequences of Their Actions

Know When It's Time to Seek Help

Chapter 5: Focusing on Positivity

What Is Positive Parenting?

The Effects of Positivity on Children

Improves Your Child's Self-Esteem

It Teaches Mutual Respect

It Helps Your Child Communicate More Effectively

It Helps You Understand Your Child's Feelings Better

It Strengthens Your Relationship With Your Child

It Reduces Negative Behaviors

It Makes Your Child Feel Happy!

Applying Positive Parenting in Anger Management

Practice Self-Care

Create an Environment That Will Nurture Your Child

Spend Quality Time With Your Child

Set Rules and Boundaries

Take Hold of Your Reactions to Your Child's Intense Emotions

Find the Root of the Problem

Discipline Effectively

Avoid Giving Rewards

Learn How to Apologize

Be Consistent

Chapter 6: Mindfulness Techniques for Parents

The Beauty of Calm Parenting

You and Your Child Will Understand Each Other Better

It Becomes Easier to Solve Problems

Strengthens Trust in Your Relationship

You Won't lose Your Cool as Often as You Used to

Less Stress and Frustration

You Get to Enjoy the Time You Spend with Your Child

Other Benefits

Managing Your Emotions

Mindfulness Techniques for Anger Management

Close Your Eyes and Tune Into Your Emotions

Understand What Your Anger is and Where it Comes From

Bring Yourself Back to Feeling Centered

Learn What Calms You Down

Take a Break

Analyze the Context of the Situation

Blow Off Some Steam

Listen to Music

Find Other Distractions When You're Feeling Stressed

Accept Imperfection

Always Choose Love

Chapter 7: Identifying Causes for Your Child’s Anger

What Is Normal Anger in Children

Anxiety

Learning Difficulties

Neglect or Trauma

Issues With Sensory Processing

ADHD

Autism

Why Do Children Get So Angry?

Personality and Temperament

When They Feel Disconnected

When Their Feelings Are Hurt

When They Are Always Ignored

They Are Exposed to Anger All the Time

When They Feel Like They Have Lost Control

When Someone Violates Their Boundaries

When a Significant Change Happens in Their Lives

When They Are Stressed About Something

Not Feeling Physically Well

Part of Their Development

Chapter 8: Anger Management for Children

Tips for Young Children

Establish a Solid Foundation

Teach Your Child to Notice Their Anger Signs

Encourage Your Child to Verbally Express Themselves

Teach Calming Strategies

Allow Your Child to Take Control

Create Anger Rules with Your Child

If Needed, Offer Consequences

Help Your Child Avoid Their Triggers

Practice Problem-Solving

Create a Safe Space for Your Child's Anger

Help Your Child Find Other Ways to Express Their Anger Appropriately

Model Healthy Anger Management

Promote Flexibility

Notice Your Child's Successes No Matter How Small

Be Consistent

Tips for Older Children and Teenagers

Don't Treat Your Teen Like a Child

Teach Your Teen to Analyze Their Anger

Calm Down, Pause, and Act

Set Limits

Suggest Healthy Distractions

Practice Positive Self-Talk

Practice Journaling

Teach Coping and Problem-Solving Skills

Teach Your Teen How to Manage Anger in Steps

Know When Your Teen Needs Help

Conclusion: Calm Your Anger and Show Your Child Just How Much You Love Them

References

Introduction: Anger Management in Parenting

Have you ever lost your temper with your child?

All parents are guilty of this at one time or another. Picture this. You are now working from home, which means that you need some alone time to focus on your work so that you can accomplish all of your tasks. You finish your chores, give your child something to keep them busy, and you go into your home office to start working.

Minutes later, your child comes into your office to ask you some questions about the activity you left them with. You smile, answer patiently, and your child leaves. As you open your work email, you see that you have a ton of work to complete by the end of the day. Now that you are feeling pressured, your child comes into your office again, this time to ask you if you would like to play. So you tell your child that you have a lot of work and you can't play right now.

But your little one doesn't give up as they keep badgering you about playing. Even if you firmly tell your child that you cannot play with them right now, they leave the room only to come back moments later with a handful of toys. While you are trying to concentrate on your work, the little person who is now sharing your office is making a lot of noise and moving around so much. You reach your boiling point, you stand up, and get angry at your child. After scolding your little one, you immediately feel bad as you watch them running out of the room in tears.

Does this situation sound all too familiar?

Even if such a situation hasn't happened to you specifically, do you relate to it on a deep level?

Well, you are not alone. Parents often lose their temper and express their anger when dealing with their children. Your anger can be unleashed in an intense moment where it gets manifested as yelling or spanking, or it can come out in trickles where you scold your child over and over again for things they should not be doing.

When you are feeling angry, you tend to lose the 'rational' part of yourself. When your anger reaches an intense level, you blow up on your little one, and often, this would make you feel better—because you were able to release your pent-up emotions.

This scenario is your side of the story... But have you ever thought about what your anger does to your child?

Children are naturally curious, intuitive, and exploratory. Since they are just learning about the world, they will ask a lot of questions, touch virtually everything about them, and try different things without thinking about the consequences of their actions. As your child's parent, your little one will always run to you to explain things they don't understand. Even if you feel sad, stressed, or upset, they will still approach you because they believe that you have all the answers.

If you meet your child's enthusiasm and curiosity with anger, it will negatively affect the little person who depends so much on you. Even as children grow up and start misbehaving, using anger to combat their misbehaviors isn't the best thing to do. Anger has the potential to cause low self-esteem in children, along with feelings of isolation, sadness, and other adverse long-term effects. When a child is always exposed to anger, they might develop their own anger issues, which you would have to deal with.

Even though anger is a natural, basic emotion, you need to learn how to control your anger,