Positive Discipline for Kids: The Essential Guide to Manage Children's Behavior, Develop Effective Communication and Raise a Positive and Confident Child

By Joanna Wells

Are you tired of arguing with your child, but don't want to abuse power and use force to teach them boundaries? Do you want to know how to get your child to cooperate by talking and teaching that actions have consequences?

 

If so, Positive Discipline for Kids; The Essential Guide to Manage Children's Behavior, Develop Effective Communication and Raise a Positive and Confident Child is the book for you!

 

Have you ever been worried about a lack of discipline in your parenting style, but found yourself unable to discipline without force? Are you afraid to put your foot down because you feel like it will traumatize your child? Don't worry! An abundance of healthy, safe, and loving ways to teach your child discipline is just around the corner!

 

Did you know that children who are raised with an equal amount of freedom and boundaries grow up to be strong, confident, and resilient to stress and failures? Did you know that children who lack boundaries often face more challenges in life, have a harder time adapting, and are more likely to struggle with stress in adult life? That's right!

 

This book will teach you how to build a strong, trust-based bond with your child, and how to instil responsibility and accountability by using effective communication and teaching about the consequences of your child's actions.

This book will lead you to discover:

• What is positive discipline
• How to help your child learn from their behaviors
• How to establish healthy and consistent boundaries
• How to discipline your child without causing emotional distress
• How to improve your parenting
• What is your parenting style
• Whether you should change your habits and behaviors
• How to change successfully
• How to teach consequences
• How to teach natural consequences
• How to teach logical consequences
• How to manage your child's behavior
• How to handle tantrums and boundary testing
• How to talk to your child to reduce fighting and arguments
• How to use time-outs and grounding the right way
• How to communicate with your child
• How to listen and know why your child is angry and spiteful
• How to feel for your child and show support while sticking to boundaries
• How to prevent future conflicts

And much more!

This book will show you how to teach your child valuable life skills that will help them become strong, passionate, competent, and confident. In this book, you will learn how to instill discipline in ways that teach your child how to cope with sadness, unpleasantness, and limitations. That way, they won't cave in the face of challenges and failures in life. Instead, they will use their own strengths, learn from their mistakes, and show responsibility and accountability for better health, stronger and healthier relationships, and greater career success! This won't be yet another easy-read with superficial advice you won't be able to apply. This book is down-to-earth and based on parenting strategies that are proven to work.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wryting Ltd
• Release date: Oct 12, 2020
• ISBN: 9781913871369

Joanna Wells

Joanna has a deep love of learning and sharing. Through her understanding of psychology combined with her life experiences and passion for writing Joanna has become an author to help others through her written words. Joanna has written two books, one about modern dating for women and the other about how to positively discipline children.Dating has become so complex that it is difficult to see the fun in it anymore. It’s easy to become lost in a world where society influences us so much that we don’t know what we are looking for. Joanna has been through the ups and downs and is sharing her knowledge in a way that is so easy to relate to yet still informative and fun.One disaster after another led Joanna to decide that she had to change the vicious negative dating cycle she had found herself in. With the help of studying psychology and beginning mindfulness practices, Joanna learnt the importance of understanding who she was before expecting to see changes in her dating experiences.This book is a refreshing look at a dating which has changed so much in such a short time. Joanna began her dating when mobile phones were hardly a thing and has witnessed the impact that smartphones have had on dating. She embraces the changes and shows the reader how, regardless of age, they can too.Her expertise and experience can also be seen in her book related to positive discipline for children, a book that doesn’t make you feel like you are doing everything wrong. She continues with her openness and honesty in her upcoming anger management and managing emotions books. She enables the reader to feel like part of a story but with guidance and proven techniques.Through tears and laughter, fun and friendships, Joanna began to appreciate the mistakes she had made so that she was able to enjoy the process of dating again. Combined with her better understanding of how the mind works and the importance of communication, she takes us with her on her journey from forgetting dates’ names to finding her husband online. Her genuine concern for her readers and her ability to be honest make this book the dating book that will encourage you to join the world of dating with a new lease of life.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Our children are our future. But what kind of future would that be if we sent them into it unprepared and without a sense of structure and discipline?

As a parent or caregiver, your most important job is to teach your child to behave in a manner that is acceptable to society. It takes time and patience, and learning healthy and effective discipline strategies will go a long way toward helping you raise an emotionally healthy, positive, and confident child.

What Is Discipline?

When you think of the word, discipline, what comes to mind? Do you think about punishment, or do you think about teaching?

The majority of people would say that it's a bit of both. They would agree that discipline is a way to teach a child to follow the rules and adhere to specific standards of behaviour. It is when it comes to the method of enforcing or teaching discipline that people do not always have similar views. The most common belief about discipline is that it should be enforced by using punishment. Some also believe that good behaviour is rewarded in some way or another.

When we teach our children the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour by rewarding them when they behave well and punishing them when they do not, we trust that we are doing what is best for our child, but is that really true? What does a child learn when they are bribed with a reward to behave in a certain way? And what do they learn from being punished?

To answer these questions, let's take a look at the meaning of punishment as it relates to child discipline. Punishment can mean anything from time-out, taking away privileges, and physical punishment to yelling, scolding, withholding affection, or humiliating the child. As you can see, all of these punishments are intentionally unpleasant in some way or other. The psychology behind this is that the child will stop the inappropriate behaviour and start displaying the desired behaviour to avoid the unpleasant experience of punishment. Doesn't that sound a bit like conditioning to you rather than teaching?

It becomes clear that the punishment and reward system does not teach the child any substantial values. It is what is called enforcing discipline, with the emphasis on the word, "enforce". The idea is that the child will change their behaviour to the desired behaviour out of fear of retribution or even physical pain or discomfort.

This method satisfies the parent or authority figure. They are happy because they have achieved a certain desired end-result. But is that really what you want your child to be? An end result? I very much doubt that. We all want our children to grow up to be healthy, balanced, and happy adults.

You may even look back at your childhood at some point and remember how you were disciplined. You may even proudly say things like, When I was a kid, I had to do as I was told or I would get the belt, and I'm fine today. You may be right. You may be fine today, but when you think about it, are you really? Do you think that you may have benefited from a different kind of discipline where you learned through kindness and encouragement?

What Makes Positive Discipline Different?

Contrary to what you may believe, positive discipline is not a positive means of punishing children for misbehaving. Positive discipline does not mean handing out praise and presents for good behaviour and taking away toys or giving time-out for bad behaviour. Research has proven that these methods are not effective in the long term and could even harm family relationships and the child's emotional development.

All children have a fundamental need to feel significant and to belong, but they often have a mistaken belief of how to go about gaining that sense of belonging and feeling of importance. When a child is feeling neglected and rejected, they tend to misbehave to gain attention and acceptance. It is easy to misinterpret this and simply see it as the child being naughty, disobedient, or just plain difficult, so we react by reprimanding and punishing the child, unknowingly confirming their feeling that they are unacceptable or do not belong.

On the other side of the coin, when a child has been good, we tend to make a fuss and reward the child as though they have achieved something extraordinary. This could cause them to believe that good or correct behaviour is extraordinary rather than expected and that it must be rewarded when it is achieved.

We need to keep in mind that each person has their own perception of the world, and children even more so. They are not yet jaded and faded by the harsh realities of life, so they tend to look at it from a surprisingly different perception than what we do. Let’s take a look at a few examples of how their beliefs are created.

It's bedtime, and you've reminded your five-year-old several times now to pack up their toys and get ready for bed. They acknowledge you, but they carry on playing, making no move to do as you asked.

You've had a long day, and you're not in the mood for this. You lose your cool and start picking up the toys, throwing them into the toy box, sparing each toy little mercy. Your little one is startled and frightened by your sudden violent action. Their lower lip begins to quiver while huge tears start rolling down their cheeks. Your irritation makes you less than reasonable, and when you see the tears, you do a mental facepalm and think, Oh no, not the waterworks again. You yell at them to stop bawling, leave the toys, and just go to bed. You add things like, Why don't you listen? Why is it so hard to get you to do as I say? You drive me crazy!

The child does what you wanted, but you are left with the last few toys on the floor and an empty feeling in your heart. They are upset and crying, and you're feeling like a monster. You go to them and apologize. You explain that you've had a hard day. You're tired and you've got a headache.

A belief has begun to form in your five-year-old’s mind that yelling and throwing things about is okay when you’re tired and irritated. They also learn that you get what you want when you throw a tantrum.

Or, let's do it another way. We have precisely the same scenario as above; only you don't lose your cool - you don't even have the energy for that. After the third or fourth time of being ignored, you just let it go and decide to try again in half an hour. Maybe they are in the mood to listen then. This scenario is way more peaceful, but nothing has been achieved. Or is it really nothing? And if something has been achieved, is it good? Let's take a look.

By giving up and not pursuing the matter you have managed to instil a belief in your child that you will stop nagging if they ignore you for long enough. Once again, not quite the intended lesson, is it?

Let's look at another possibility—the reward. We have the same scene as before, only you don't lose your cool, and you don't let them be and wait for half an hour. You bribe them. You tell them that they can have one of their favourite cookies if they are good and pick up their toys. They decide that the cookie sounds better than

Reviews for Positive Discipline for Kids

[Ioana Puscas · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

My daughter is 3 , I’ve always tried my best with her and she is bright and funny and a very sweet girl. But I’ve done mistakes that I regret and I wish I had read this book while pregnant. Simple yet very useful book.

[Evan Locke · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

There are three main ideas that the author presents throughout this book. The first is to empower kids and show them that they can make their own choices in life, like what they're going to eat or wear, and how they can interact with others. Another idea that is presented in the book is encouraging kids to value mistakes, failures, and differences. The last main idea that Wells presents is to communicate with children effectively through effective reasoning.

Wells writes this book to help parents teach their kids without using physical punishment or shouting. She believes that all people are capable of learning from their mistakes, but it is up to parents to create an environment where it is safe and comfortable for the child to take risks and make mistakes. The author understands that parents will, at times, need to step in and guide their children away from danger, but she believes that most of the time physical punishment and shouting should be avoided.

[carmen loscialpo · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Positive Discipline for Kids goes into detail about how to use positive discipline in the life of your child. This book has many different techniques that are incredibly easy to follow and deploy when you see certain behaviors in your child; for example, when they are whining, or making excuses. Positive Discipline for Kids provides several different techniques parents can use to help guide children along healthy paths rather than resorting to punishment for every problem they face. I really enjoyed this book because it provided several examples parents could relate to their own situations with their family. The techniques were simple enough that any parent can implement them into daily life without having to read the entire book. I would recommend this book to any parent who has issues with their child's behavior because it provides simple, effective strategies parents can use in everyday life to help improve their child's behavior without resorting to yelling or punishing them.

[Happychappie21 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book is a game-changer! POSITIVE DISCIPLINE FOR KIDS is about teaching children to be accountable for themselves and how they behave. It teaches parents techniques that will help them raise responsible kids while still allowing their children freedom of expression. Parents can also learn effective ways to discipline that teach responsibility without making them feel like bad people.
What I love the most and found particularly helpful in this book is the way it makes you believe in yourself as a parent and loose that sense of frustration and failure we sometimes come across. As a single mum of two sometimes it can get too much for me, sometimes I just get too overwhelmed and just loose my patience with my children, and then I find myself feeling like a bad mother or a failure because of all the screaming and shouting on my side. Positive discipline for kids is aimed at parents who are looking for ways to make children understand the consequences of their actions, act responsibly towards others (not just family members), and show empathy. This way, children will grow up with better coping skills when life presents new challenges or difficulties . The author recommends not providing too many choices because this may inhibit growth of decision-making power in the child; instead he suggests having clear expectations and guidance around tasks or roles. Im sure this book will have a positive impact for my family, I already feel like a better person/mum and I m now motivated even more to make the changes within myself and towards my children. I would highly recommend this to every parent struggling.

[Milena Vlad · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Quick overview on how to approach positive discipline, in an easy to read manner with lots of examples and clear action items