How Not 2 Cheat: " A Man Manual to Being Faithful to One Woman"

By Darrius Shannon

When we become men, we can see that, as a society, we have a problem. The problem seems to be men remaining faithful to one woman. We have to do some research and see where this problem began.
I will suggest we do some mental labor. Begin to break down some things in your past and see the things that may have happened in your early childhood that may be the cause of why you see a woman the way you see her. As men, we must understand that the act of sex is only for a moment, but living in Love can be for a lifetime.....

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: May 7, 2018
• ISBN: 9780692063712

Book preview

Dedications & Thanks

First of all, I would like to thank GOD for inspiring me to write this manual for men.

I dedicate this book to my beautiful wife of 20 years, Angela Shannon, who has helped me be a better husband and father, and who continues to inspire me daily. She truly shows me the meaning of love and commitment.

I also dedicate this book to my three daughters and my three grandsons.

Special thanks to my editor Cortni Merritt. She is such a wonderful talent.

Last, but definitely not least, this book is dedicated my brothers, who I know need words to empower them every day in order to protect their faithfulness.

Copyright 2018. Darrius Shannon

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 9780692063712

This book is protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America. This book may not be copied or reprinted for commercial gain or profit. The use of short quotations or occasional page copying for personal or group studies is permitted and encouraged. Permission will be granted upon request.

Unless otherwise identified, scripture quotations are from the King James translation of the Bible.

For more information about this book and the author Darrius Shannon call:

Phone: [phone]

Email: [e-mail]

I would like to thank the men who have showed me their faithfulness and inspired me greatly:

Bishop C.L Carter Sr.

Pastor Alree Robinson Jr.

Chaplin Bobby Williams

Pastor Alexander and the Iron Sharpens Iron Fellowship

Elder Baines

Deacon Robert Carter

Elder Flott

Pastor Ron Moore

Apostle Roscoe

and my bro, Mr. Dennis Buckley

Table of Contents

SECTION 1: THE PROBLEM OF WANTING TO CHEAT

Childhood History

Curiosity

Harlem Nights

Kryptonite

She’s Bad Too

She’s Hurt

7 Warning Signs That You’re At Risk of Cheating

Training the Dog in You

Commitment

The Hunt

Your Circle

More Than A Booty Call

Communication

It’s Bigger Than You

Cybersex

Faithful

Fame

$20

S in Sex Is For Soul

Protection

The Aftermath: Is It Worth It?

SECTION 2: THE SOLUTIONS AND HOW NOT TO CHEAT.

Think Before You Paint

Thinking With The Right Head

Run Like Joe

Mrs. Right

Temptation

Contentment

Eyes & Ears Closed

Slow Down

Don’t Lose Control

Mental Sex

Pleasing GOD

Staying Active

Emotions

Making Up

Cold Shower

Menstrual Cycle & Sickness

Escape Older Women

Best Friends

Finance Helps Romance

Wifeys Work

Forgiveness

Prayer

Scriptural References:

SECTION 1: THE PROBLEM

OF WANTING TO CHEAT

Childhood History

When we become men, we see as a society, we have a problem. One big problem seems to be men remaining faithful to one woman. We have to do some research and see where this problem began.

I will suggest you to do some mental labor. Begin to break down some things in your past and see the things that may have happened in your early childhood that may be the cause of why you see a woman the way you see her. As men, we must understand that the act of sex is only for a moment, but living in Love can be for a lifetime.

As a little child, I have always been attracted to beautiful women. My Mother once told me that Lena Horne was on the Tonight Show, and I would want to stay up and see the women with no clothes on. I was only three years old, but most men I know are born with an attraction to women, or early in their life the beauty of a woman begins to attract them to her.

I can remember getting in trouble for drawing sexual pictures at the age of 10 years old.  My mother also told me that when I was young, I asked her if she could buy me the Playboy channel. So, from early on in my life I’ve always been intrigued with a woman’s naked body and with sex.

I believe that one reason I grew up that way was because of the people I associated with. The people I associated with were part of the reason for my foundations, and for my understanding of women and sex. So as you begin to review your upbringing, think about those things.

I remember hanging out with a group of high school kids in the neighborhood who looked at Playboy magazines. So my high school friends would allow me to look at Playboy magazines with them. They were 16 and 17, I was only 10. When they let me begin to look at the Playboys with them, it made me want to be a part of what they were doing.

I had to go see a psychiatrist, because they thought I was crazy, but I just was into women’s bodies. My curiosity about their anatomy, including words you don’t hear in the hood unless someone is teaching them.

Now I will say, my mother did her best to ask me questions, but I didn’t know what to say to her. Maybe I felt a little awkward talking about that with my mom.

I wasn’t having sex at age 10, but I would draw pictures of people having sex. Now ask yourself the question: was that a bad thing for a kid to be drawing pictures of people having sex?

The influence of Western civilization has put a negative light on the way many view sex. Well we know that Michelangelo and Picasso were both great artists who drew and painted several erotic masterpieces that are worth millions – some are considered priceless.

Sex was created by GOD for a man and a woman, and the body was created by GOD. It was made perfect, but some members of society have allowed the body to become a tool for evil. Some people have turned sex into just guilty pleasure, instead of seeing it as it should be seen – a blessing from the beginning.

Typically, in the hood where I grew up, there wasn’t much educational talk about sex. We would only hear about sex when some of the more promiscuous homeboy in the neighborhood would brag, or we would view Playboy magazines or watch pornography. There was no positive education concerning the beauty of sex, and why it was really created. We begin to think that it is a taboo, and maybe it wasn’t a thing of love, but instead a thing of just good feelings. We knew we wanted it, and we wanted to see it.

So it’s not like creating those pictures was a bad thing, but without knowledge, without wisdom and understanding, it can become a disaster.

We have to correct these problems and mistakes. We have to correct them now as adult. If you can really understand that sex is more than physical contact, you can correct these problems.

As fathers, we must be present to do our best, to educate our sons and daughters, especially our sons. In most cases, young men relate better to other men when it comes to the sex talk. We must begin to educate young men on the importance of sexual relationships, because at the end of the day sex is not a bad thing.

One of the ways to change the way you think is to change your mindset concerning the human body and sex. Begin viewing sex as the Creator views it. It is a blessing, a covenant, a promise of love.

We have to re–channel those early lessons about the ways we see women. It has to be more than just the outer appearance. I, like many boys, had had a wall full of Jet centerfolds. With the Jet centerfolds they had about a paragraph about the woman herself – her backgrounds, interests, and maybe a quote. I really didn’t read what she was about; I plaster it on my wall, because she was fine!

When I look back on those times, and I don’t even know if they do Jet centerfolds anymore, but there was a little paragraph under the photo, saying she was wanted be a doctor, and she has a 4.0 grade average in college – personal information like that. We weren’t concerned about that. We only were concerned about her 36–24–36 body.

I’m sharing this intimate information with you to let you know that if you are addicted to pornography or sex, there’s hope for you. I used to watch and be addicted to pornography. Most of the trouble that I got into as a lad was because of sexual curiosity.

So it’s small things that caused us to make many mistakes – in particular, only viewing women as objects. By looking at women as objects, many of us have chosen the wrong women, because we were only looking for that Jet centerfold or Playboy bunny. When what we were supposed to be doing was looking for another woman – one who could complement our life.

Now I’m not saying that you should marry someone who you’re not attracted to physically, but your mental and emotional attractions to her should be just as powerful as your physical attraction. This is so that you can engage in something I like to call mental sex, which means being mentally intimate.

Mental sex feels just as good as the physical intimacy. However many of us men, we had never have had mental sex. We are still virgins in that area, but we’ve had so much physical sex that it doesn’t really matter who we have it with, just as long as it’s pleasing us. We have to be very careful in this area. If we continue this behavior, we will never be satisfied.

When you find one woman who pleases you mentally, that could be the woman that you want to make your wife. Some of you may already be with that woman. Maybe your girlfriend, maybe your fiancée. For some of you, it may even be your wife, and you have not tapped into one of the best parts of the relationship yet. But it’s never too late.

There’s nothing like a mental orgasm. There’s nothing like being in conversation and discovering that you’re listening to your spouse or your fiancé. Listening to her will cause her to release something off her mind in an exhale, that’s a mental orgasm.

That’s one reason therapists get paid a lot of money, because they’re really performing mental sex. They allow their client to have a mental orgasm by listening to them and engaging them with emotional conversations. This mental intimacy, this understanding, is very important, because as children growing up, some of us only were taught the physical part of sex.

Well at least, I was only taught that, and I know a lot of my homeys as well. We didn’t learn about communication, we didn’t learn about listening, we didn’t learn about touch without physical intimacy, but we all learned about the physical acts of sex.

Think about your early experience with sex, because it could be part of the reason you’re in and out of relationships. Furthermore, if you are in a good relationship, but find yourself chasing after another hot Jet centerfold, wanting to leave the woman you’re with to be with someone new, think about your childhood.

Sometimes we may have been in positions of chaos, and things happened that we didn’t have control over. Some men have been molested by women, and some have been molested by men. These experiences, these memories, are very tough, but this is where you have to pray, trust GOD, and perhaps go on a fast for physical and spiritual healing. You must realize that you made it this far, and you can experience what it truly means to be intimate with a woman.

Most of the time as men, we don’t want to open up. We want to be in control. But, you have to open up to the woman you love in order for the relationship to