Regaining Control: When Love Becomes a Prison

By Tami Brady

• Only 1% of the world's assets are held in the name of women.
• 70% of people in abject poverty--living on less than $1 per day--are women.
• Over half the women of this generation do not themselves receive, from either employment or the state, enough to 'get by'.

These shocking statistics call to our attention the importance of financial independence among women. Financial dependence, though, is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Dependence can also be noted in Validation and Self Esteem; Mobility and Daily Care; and Emotional Support and A Shield from the World. Loving, caring, and well meaning spouses, families, and caregivers can unwittingly gnaw away at self confidence and self esteem until a person is unwittingly trapped in an unhealthy situation.

Are you at risk?

• Would you be financially secure without your spouse's income?
• Do you find? it hard to say "no"?
• Do you feel unlovable or ugly?
• Have you given up on your dreams?
• Are you truly unhappy with your life?

If so, there is hope! It is possible to regain your self esteem, rebuild your self confidence, and become independent once more.

Independence is a skill, an attitude, and a lifestyle that anyone can achieve.

Praise for Tami Brady:

"The main point I saw in this work, and one I thought was outstanding, is that we are all individuals, unique and that one set formula may not work for everyone. I believe that is what makes her work different than other self-help books." -Shirley Johnson, Midwest Book Review

"I found myself submersed in this book, discovering it a true source of encouragement, that however overwhelming life becomes, we should stay aware of what we want, never forgetting where we come from or what our dreams are." -Tracy Jane-Newton, An Alternative View

"If you have been thinking there must be more to life than what you have; or you find you tend to say one thing in public, whilst being of an-other opinion in private, then this book may be for you." -Sue Phillips, Spiralthreads Reviews

• Language: English
• Publisher: Loving Healing Press
• Release date: Dec 1, 2007
• ISBN: 9781615999361

Book preview

Regaining Control

When Love Becomes a Prison

Tami Brady

Regaining Control : When Love Becomes a Prison

The New Horizons in Therapy Series

Copyright © 2007 Tami Brady. All Rights Reserved.

No part of this publication reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or other otherwise, or stored in a retrieval system, without the prior written consent of the publisher.

First Edition: April 2007

ISBN-13 978-1-932690-12-5

ISBN-10 1-932690-12-3

________________________________________________________

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Brady, Tami, 1968-

  Regaining control : when love becomes a prison / Tami Brady. - - 1st ed.

        p. cm. - - (New horizons in therapy series; 4)

  Includes bibliographical references and index.

  ISBN-13: 978-1-932690-12-5 (pbk. : alk. paper)

  ISBN-10: 1-932690-12-3 (pbk. : alk. paper)

  1. Dependency (Psychology) 2. Self-help techniques. I. Title.

  BF575.D34B73 2007

  158.2- -dc22

                                                                              2006100181

Distributed by:

Baker & Taylor, Ingram Book Group, New Leaf Distributing

Published by:

Loving Healing Press

5145 Pontiac Trail

Ann Arbor, MI 48105

USA

http://www.LovingHealing.com or

[e-mail]

Fax [phone]

Loving Healing Press

The New Horizons in Therapy Series

Got parts? An Insider's Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder, by ATW

Got parts? Companion: A Workbook of Understanding and Hope

Coping with Physical Loss and Disability: A Workbook, by Rick Ritter, MSW

Why Good People Make Bad Choices: How You Can Develop Peace Of Mind Through Integrity, by Charles Allen

Regaining Control: When Love Becomes A Prison by Tami Brady

About our Series Editor, Robert Rich, Ph.D.

Robert Rich, M.Sc., Ph.D., M.A.P.S., A.A.S.H. is a highly experienced counseling psychologist. His web site www.anxietyanddepression-help.com is a storehouse of helpful information for people suffering from anxiety and depression.

Bob is also a multiple award-winning writer of both fiction and non-fiction, and a professional editor. His writing is displayed at www.bobswriting.com. You are advised not to visit him there unless you have the time to get lost for a while.

Three of his books are tools for psychological self-help: Anger and Anxiety, Personally Speaking, and Cancer: A personal challenge. However, his philosophy and psychological knowledge come through in all his writing, which is perhaps why three of his books have won international awards, and he has won many minor prizes. Dr. Rich currently resides at Wombat Hollow in Australia.

Praise for Tami Brady's Self-Help Books

…A perfect and simple way to begin the process of transforming one's life and living the unique purpose that resides within the soul.

—Richard A. Singer Jr., MA, CAC, Your Daily Walk with the Great Minds

The main point I saw in this work, and one I thought was outstanding, is that we are all individuals, unique and that one set formula may not work for everyone. I believe that is what makes her work different than other self-help books.

—Shirley Johnson, Midwest Book Review

I found myself submersed in this book, discovering it a true source of encouragement, that however overwhelming life becomes, we should stay aware of what we want, never forgetting where we come from or what our dreams are.

—Tracy Jane-Newton, An Alternative View

If you have been thinking there must be more to life than what you have; or you find you tend to say one thing in public, whilst being of another opinion in private, then this book may be for you.

—Sue Phillips, Spiralthreads Reviews

…One of the best guidebooks I have read and yet it does not overwhelm the reader with daunting tasks and unrealistic expectations.

—Angela Hutchinson, Spirit-GWorks.Net

I found [her book] helpful for self examination and analysis. The author helped me gain insights into my personal behavior patterns and in understanding myself in relation to the world around me.

—Richard R. Blake, San Leandro, CA

You can almost feel the warmth of her words radiate throughout your body as you allow each one to absorb deep into your soul. Allow her to come into your life and you will discover the person you were truly meant to be.

—Suzie Housley, MyShelf.com

I appreciate Tami Brady's intent to help people discover their truth so that we all can live authentic lives. She presents ideas in an organized format and provides both background information and tools to incorporate new knowledge.

—Erika K. Oliver, ReaderViews.com

Table of Contents

Preface

Chapter 1 - Are You Independent?

Introduction

Underlying Philosophy of this Book

My Hope

Chapter 2 – Dependence vs. Independence

About Dependence and Independence

Myths about Dependence and Independence

Self-Reliance Explained

Chapter 3 - - What is Self-Reliance?

Exploring your Self-Reliance Issues

A Perfect World

Introductory Explorations

Furthering Your Investigations

Chapter 4 – Finding Your Independence Quotient

Analyzing Your Questionnaire Results

Interpreting Your Results

Your Opinion Counts

Summarizing Your Results

Chapter 5 – Defining Your Goals

Deciding What You Need

Priorities List

Determining Your Goals

Assessing Your Resources

Chapter 6 – Succeeding At Your Goals

Steps for Success

Choosing Your Goal

Goal Setting

Goal Setting Timeline

Chapter 7 – Realizing Your Goals and Beyond

Appendix A –Additional Resources

Emergency Contacts

Domestic Violence Support

Elder Abuse Support

Organizations and Online Resources: Mental Health

Bibliography

Online Reading Material: Articles

Online Reading Material: Statistics

About the Author

Index

Preface

Control and independence are topics close to my heart. Like many people, I come from a long line of women who became dependent upon a spouse or other loved one. Too many of my female kin have found themselves in dysfunctional relationships they felt that they couldn't leave because

Reviews for Regaining Control

[crazypsychobooklover · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Independence means different things to different people. Tami Brady, the Author of Regaining Control: When Love Becomes A Prison, has written an excellent book that speaks to all women, regardless of their personal situation and views on independence. It's a sad fact of life that many women will live at least part of their lives in poverty, or at the very least, have a tough time making ends meet, often while attempting to raise their children without a spouse or helpmate. Oftentimes through no fault of their own, they will be left in less than ideal circumstances. Reading this book and following the steps and guidelines can help you move beyond your current circumstances. Written in an upbeat, easy to understand style, Regaining Control helps lead you through the questions you need to ask yourself to plan for your future well-being. Touching on many types of problems, personality issues and lifestyle situations, the author shows that change is possible, and lays out in great detail how to succeed to meet your needs. Any reader will find the checklists, questionnaires and forms to be useful. The book will help you find what's truly important to you, and guide you through the process of setting goals and breaking them down, turning them into steps that are easier to reach, and less overwhelming than looking at the big picture without a gameplan.My daughter works with abused women in an emergency shelter. When she saw this book, she was excited and impressed to have access to an easily understood, easy to follow manual that she could recommend to her clients. That speaks volumes, in my opionion, about the usefullness of this book.