Broken Hearts...Healing: Young Poets Speak Out on Divorce

By Tom Worthen

Broken Hearts...Healing: Young Poets Speak Out on Divorce contains poems written by children who remind us that divorce ends a marriage and not the relationship with the children. Divorce creates a series of painful victims with the children suffering the most. This book contains words from the children who are the real “experts” on divorce. Used by school counselors to help heal the pain of divorce, these poems will help you understand a child’s emotions. Broken Hearts...Healing is a great starting point for parents and counselors to start a conversation about this painful topic. Broken Hearts...Healing was awarded “Honor Book” status by Voices Of Youth Advocacy (VOYA) and received a Top Pick” award from BookSense Independent Bookstores across the United States.

Professional Editorial Reviews

Curled Up With A Good Book
"The poignant poems collected in Broken Hearts...Healing ought to be required reading for every couple contemplating ending their marriage, and should certainly be used to help children from broken families know that they are not alone in their hurting. Ruthlessly honest and heartbreaking, the poems are outpourings of grief and resignation from children of divorced parents."

Publishers Weekly
"With haunting lines such as "Divorce can slaughter you" and "A girl without her father is incomplete," nearly 200 children mostly teens, though a few are as young as 10 years old whose parents are divorced have allowed editor Tom Worthen to collect their blunt, eloquent in Broken Hearts...Healing: Young Poets Speak Out on Divorce. Worthen, a communications professor who has tried to be the "best divorced dad I could be," is determined to bring children and parents together to talk openly about complex and painful issues."

School Library Journal
"Gr 5 Up-Children of divorced parents will recognize the emotions and experiences expressed in this collection of poems written by young people between the ages of 9 and 18 who have experienced the pain of divorce. Some 200 poems address the initial shock of learning of their parents' separation, feelings of abandonment, the pain of change, frustration and anger, step-families, and finally acceptance and growth through the sadness. The poets speak from the heart and their poems are sophisticated, reflecting mature emotions. The strength of this book lies in the charged words of youth; this is not a book about divorce written by an adult for children. Rather, it is by their peers, and readers who are going through divorce will know that they are not alone in their feelings and emotions."
Midwest Book Review
"Broken Hearts...Healing: Young Poets Speak Out On Divorce is an impressive and memorable collection of original poetry stemming from the disruption, heartbreak, and confusion of contemporary divorce as experienced by the children of separating parents. The boys and girls who work is here collected are children in grades 4 to 12 with their poems are held to a maximum of 21 lines each. This compendium of honesty and candor ought to be read by every father and every mother who has ever contemplated, or implemented, a divorce proceeding."
"The sheer intensity of the words will grab any adult's attention." — Today's Librarian

"The power of this...is recognition of the power of knowing that one is not alone; one can be heard." — Voices of Youth Advocates

"GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE is difficult...on kids. These poets remind us that while divorce is traumatic, you do survive." — The Spokesman-Review

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tom Worthen
• Release date: Jan 23, 2012
• ISBN: 9781600504884

Tom Worthen

Dr. Tom Worthen received his BFA in Theatre Arts from Utah State University and his Ph.D. in Interpersonal Communication from Southern Illinois University at Carbondale. During 20 years as a professor, Tom received several teaching awards, coached numerous national speech and debate champions, and received the Educator of the Year award from the Northwest Speech and Debate Conference. In 1997 Tom resigned from teaching full time so that he could move closer to his kids and spend his time being “the best divorced dad he can be.” He currently teaches part-time at Utah State University and works as an editor for Creative Communication. Tom and his wife Gaylen reside in Smithfield, Utah with their four children, Jarren and Arianna, Connor and Soren Relevant experiences: - Political Respondent for the 1992 presidential debates for News Radio KEX radio in Portland Oregon - Teaching Excellence awards at both the local and regional level - Speech Coach for 17 National Collegiate Speech champions - Keynote Speaker at numerous conferences and associations - Image and speaking consultant for the Idaho Beef Ambassador - Editor of over 400 anthologies of poetry - Consultant to private business in the area of organizational communication - His workshops and seminars have been reviewed as “Top Picks” by the Educational Service Centers in Illinois, and numerous private corporations

Book preview

Broken Hearts…Healing contains the poems of children who remind us that divorce ends a marriage and not the relationship with the children.

What others are saying about

Broken Hearts…Healing

"This is a book that every parent should read regardless of the stage of divorce they might be in."

— Pat Gaudette, Your About.com Guide to Divorce Support

"I wish this book had been available to me when my own children were going through divorce."

Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D, contributing Editor, Divorce magazine

"…this book may be the best way to help parents talk to and listen to their own children’s feelings about how divorce impacts their young lives."

— Victor Nelson, Ph.D, Director of the Family Institute of Northern Utah

Broken Hearts…Healing received the Top Pick award from BookSense Independent Bookstores and the Honor Book award from VOYA (Voices for Youth Advocacy).

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Broken Hearts

…Healing

Young Poets

Speak Out

on Divorce

Edited by Tom Worthen, Ph.D.

**~~**

The poems are published in this ebook with the understanding that the poets and their parents or guardians have verified their originality. This ebook was illustrated by Kyle Hernandez. Kyle, a 3rd grade student at Summit Elementary in Smithfield, Utah, has received local and statewide recognition for his drawing.

Broken Hearts…Healing: Young Poets Speak Out on Divorce

Copyright 2012, Creative Communication

All Rights Reserved. Published by Creative Communication at Smashwords. The poems included in this ebook are the property of Creative Communication and the individual authors of each poem. These poems may not be used without the express permission of the publisher and the poets involved.

This ebook is available in print at http://www.poettreepress.com

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Samshwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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contents

foreword for parents

foreword for the youth

1 — Divorce Changes Everything

2 — It Happened to Me

3 — My Heart Is Broken

4 — Whose Fault Is It?

5 — I’m Caught in the Middle

6 — I Once Had a Family

7 — You Left Me

8 — You Are Missing My Life

9 — I Don’t Love You

10 — I Miss You

11 — I Will Always Love You

12 — I Want My Family Back

13 — My Two Homes

14 — My Evolving Family Tree

15 — I’m Still Standing

16 — Lessons I’ve Learned

afterword for parents — what we can learn from this book

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foreword for parents

Divorce is a process. In the legal context it is a single event. To the individuals involved, divorce is a continuing cycle of love, hate, pain, fear and endless other emotions. The emotions felt depend on the parents and their relationship with each other; the children’s relationship with their parents and step-parents; and the passing of time that can help healing occur or allow the bitterness to grow.

Having been divorced for over ten years, I still look back to the day I drove away from my children as the most painful day in my life. Since that time, I have suffered further pain by wanting and not having my children live with me. My pain comes, however, only from the pain that I see in my children. Divorce is most painful for the children.

After reading thousands of poetic testimonials from children of divorce, I found what often makes divorce most devastating is how the parents act and react toward each other and the children. Does the non-custodial parent make every attempt to be involved in the children’s lives? Does the custodial parent support this involvement? One difference between a parent dying and leaving children behind and a parent absent due to divorce, is the feeling of abandonment. This is a feeling the custodial parent can enlarge or diminish. When stepparents are involved, are there four loving parents, or does competition for the child’s love only pull the child into the awful middle? Some parents seem to feel that a child’s love is like a glass of water. There is only so much love to go around, and if too much love is given to the other parent, then there will not be enough love left over. This attitude results in competition for the child’s love. In contrast to the glass of water philosophy is that love is abundant, like water from a faucet. There is a never-ending supply. A parent doesn’t need to put the other parent down in order to direct the child’s love. Everyone can be loved.

Parents do not divorce children. When parents choose to be uninvolved in their child’s life or when parents use children as a way to get back at the divorcing parent, the child suffers. The latter case reflects the Medea attitude, where a man or woman ends up hating his or her ex-spouse more than he or she loves the children. These parents often use the children as a tool to play out their role as a victim. When this occurs the divorce creates a series of painful victims with the children suffering the most.

As you read the poetic testimonials included in this book, I hope that they will speak to you. If you are contemplating a divorce I hope that this book will help you realize how that one decision ripples through many lives forever. If your children are experiencing the pain of a divorce, I hope these poems help you understand your children’s emotions.

Many of the poems in this book describe the father as the parent that is not involved in the child’s life. The selection of poems isn’t meant to take sides, however, the poems that were reviewed for this book reflect society and the fact that most children of divorce live with their mothers.

The chapters are comprised of the themes that emerged from the poems. Each chapter reinforces the research on the stages that individuals go through after a divorce. Whereas several of the poems could have been placed in different chapters, the placement that was chosen for each poem reflects the overall concept for the book and the subjective nature of editing a book of poetry.

Knowing that the pain, frustration and love expressed in each poem are real, a strong emotional reaction is created. These are children much like yours and mine; children who are reaching out through their poetry to find an audience who will listen. Thank you for lending an ear.

Tom Worthen, Ph.D.

January 2012

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foreword for the youth

In the words of my children, Divorce sucks.  Having your parents end their marriage changes your whole world.  But you are not alone. 

The idea