Hubris Towers Season 1, Episode 7: Hubris Towers Season 1, #7

By Ben Y. Faroe and Bill Hoard

Sabotage, sleep deprivation, and a literal wrecking ball are the least of Jimmy's worries. There's also Mother Robert.

It’s a frenzied day after a sleepless night for Jimmy, Ana, Billiam, and the rest of the Hubris Towers crew. The big inspection is only moments away, and the repairs are nowhere near finished.

After an impromptu overnight repair-a-thon, it’s up to Jimmy to get the janitors their payday, keep Gustav from sabotaging the men’s room, and find a way to help Ana prepare for her exams. But Mr. Schwartz isn’t interested in paying up, Gustav’s ear for double meanings is a little too good, and Ana isn’t exactly speaking to him at the moment. To top it all off, it’s demolition day, and Mother Robert is determined to witness the destruction of her old home.

And then there’s the little matter of a possible date with Ms. Leonelle, if Jimmy can just overcome the tasks of a modern day, cosmopolitan, service industry Hercules.

This is the seventh installment of Hubris Towers, a comedy series for fans of P. G. Wodehouse and Fawlty Towers. If you’re new to the series, sign up at byfaroe.com/hubris to try the first two episodes on us.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Clickworks Press
• Release date: Aug 6, 2016
• ISBN: 9781943383221

Book preview

Hubris Towers

Season 1

Episode 7: Wanton Destruction

Bill Hoard & Ben Y. Faroe

Don’t miss an episode!

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Copyright © 2016 Bill Hoard and Ben Y. Faroe.

All rights reserved.

First publication: Clickworks Press, 2016.

Release: CP-HT1.7-INT-E.M-1.0

Sign up for Hubris Towers updates at bit.ly/gethubris.

ISBN-10: 1-943383-22-7

ISBN-13: 978-1-943383-22-1

Hubris Towers

Season 1

Episode 7: Wanton Destruction

In a haze of slowly fading unconsciousness, Jimmy gradually became aware that something with a hard edge was digging into his face. Foggy fragments of thought tried to make sense of this. Half-formed images of Russians and gang members and chaos in the small hours of the morning filtered into his mind. He wondered, insofar as he had the capacity to wonder things, whether he had finally been kidnapped by desperadoes of one description or another. A memory tugged at him, something about dripping pipes. Whatever was digging into his cheek continued to do so, occupying more and more of his attention.

The leitmotif of dripping pipes reasserted itself, with the echo of a rousing chorus of Russian voices.

The inspection!

Suddenly Jimmy was fully awake. He straightened quickly, and found that the sharp edge against his cheek had been the smooth cold edge of the front desk in the lobby of Hubris Towers, which, it seemed, had been supporting most of his weight in cooperation with his right cheek.

Good morning, Mr. Acorn, said Billiam, unexpectedly close.

Jimmy started. Hmmrgh, he observed.

Quite so, Mr. Acorn. Billiam laid a small plate and a fine white mug on the front desk. I brought you a chocolate croissant and a cup of strong coffee, compliments of the Pericles Cafe.

Jimmy felt a rush of gratitude. A true brother-in-arms was a rare and valuable thing. Plurrnghu, he said, as wholeheartedly as he could manage.

You're welcome, sir. We've got to keep our strength up. Billiam pulled out his notebook. I have a few small updates. The repairs on the fourth floor are nearing completion. The twelfth, seventh, and eighth floors are ready. Another small sinkhole was discovered on the grounds and Grounds has begun remediation efforts. The old Pericles Club has been cleaned and repaired and the team has installed a collection of industrial fans and dehumidifiers in an effort to dry it out fully.

By now Jimmy was halfway through his croissant. He paused for a fortifying gulp of coffee. Mmrrm, he said, feeling that it was incumbent upon him at this juncture to contribute to the conversation.

Gustav has remained under strict observation at all times, Billiam continued, and I am pleased to report that he was unable to conduct any more surprise sabotages.

This focused Jimmy's attention as none of the previous updates had. Oh, he managed. Good.

Yes, sir. We caught him weakening pipes at three other locations as the night progressed.

Wait. Jimmy took a moment to wrangle the necessary words. I thought you said he didn't manage any more sabotaging.

Surprise sabotages, Billiam corrected courteously. He remained quite active in sabotage attempts overall. Fortunately we were able to nip them, sir.

Nip them?

Yes, Mr. Acorn. If not in the bud, certainly at least in the calyx, sir.

Calyx.

Yes, sir. The leaf-like crown surrounding the main structure of a flower or bud, sir. It is a metaphor, Mr. Acorn.

Mmm. Jimmy took refuge in another buttery bite of his chocolate croissant.

I am happy to report, however, that as we were able to mitigate the effects of his attempts early on, we lost relatively little work time.

Jimmy nodded. By now the coffee was gone. He looked around vaguely for another mug.

A contingent of janitors has taken up residence in the Pericles Cafe, Billiam continued. Francois-Henri has been prevailing upon me to have them removed for some time now, but I am afraid my reasoning has fallen on deaf ears, even though I feel I have made great strides in my attempts to adopt the dominant native dialect of their majority, who seem to hail from the vicinity of the Upper Volga.

Ah, Jimmy nodded. Volga.

I believe they are intoxicated, Billiam confided.

Could be, could be, said Jimmy,