Hubris Towers Season 1, Episode 8: Running With Scissors: Hubris Towers Season 1, #8

By Ben Y. Faroe and Bill Hoard

Tonight Jimmy’s home, job, and dreams of romance all hang in the balance. But at least he looks sharp.

It’s an exciting night at Hubris Towers: Jimmy’s got a hot date, the inspection is in full swing, and Gustav’s got a fire axe. Not all at once might have been a better idea, of course. The stakes have never been higher as Jimmy juggles romance and remote crisis control in the madcap finale of Hubris Towers Season 1.

This is the eighth installment in Hubris Towers, a comedy series for fans of P. G. Wodehouse and Fawlty Towers. If you’re new to the series, sign up at byfaroe.com/hubris to try the first two episodes on us.
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Clickworks Press
• Release date: Nov 23, 2016
• ISBN: 9781943383252

Book preview

Hubris Towers

Season 1

Episode 8: Running With Scissors

Bill Hoard & Ben Y. Faroe

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Copyright © 2016 Bill Hoard and Ben Y. Faroe.

All rights reserved.

First publication: Clickworks Press, 2016.

Release: CP-HT1.8-INT-E.M-1.0

Sign up for Hubris Towers updates at bit.ly/gethubris.

ISBN-10: 1-943383-24-3

ISBN-13: 978-1-943383-24-5

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, organizations, and events are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Hubris Towers

Season 1

Episode 8: Running With Scissors

And then they took over the world. Ana slammed her textbook shut triumphantly. Few other minor incidents, and then I aced an exam about them.

Yeah! cried Jimmy, pumping an enthusiastic fist in the air. Around the lobby, a few tenants looked up with mild surprise.

Perhaps I was mistaken, Ms. Burke, put in Billiam, appearing from wherever it was that Billiam appeared, but I thought your exam on the Mongols was still in the future.

It was, Ana confirmed. It was later this evening. And I aced it.

Jimmy laughed. Billiam blinked four times. Then he smiled.

Ah! I believe I understand. You are expressing confidence by unconventional use of tense structure, projecting a future occurrence as if it were in the past, and thus certain. Very droll, Ms. Burke. He gave a decorous chuckle. And may I just say, he added, that I had every confidence in you earlier this morning.

Now it was Ana's turn to look confused. What happened this morning?

No, no. When you passed your exam. Later this evening. You see?

Jimmy saw. I think he means now. He had every confidence in you now.

Ana laughed aloud. Thanks, Billiam. You’re sweet. She sighed. I’m just glad we got everything ready for the inspection in time. I don’t know what I would have done if my brain still had to be stuck on all of the issues while I was trying to write essays about Mongols. She turned to Jimmy with a knowing look. What about you? What are you doing later?

Jimmy swallowed. He had a date with Ms. Le—with Cassie. I don’t know. I'm sweeping Ms. Leonelle off her feet. I think.

He wondered whether he really even wanted to sweep her off her feet. She didn’t strike him as the type who was easily swept. In fact, given the constant tumult of gifts and admirers that she faced, Jimmy had begun to develop another strategy.

Actually, he amended, I think I’m going to try for something a little different. People are always taking her out to all these super-fancy places. Maybe this time she’d enjoy something a little more casual. Just have fun, you know?

You’ve seen the best, now see the rest? said Ana.

Jimmy’s confidence flickered. Something like that. That is—

Ana laughed again. I’m kidding, Jimmy. That’s a great idea. God, I can’t imagine how she takes it. All those stuffy galas and operas and gallery openings and lobster tongs. I bet she’s dying to just get her fingers greasy on a really good burger for once.

I could have one sent up to her suite, offered Billiam helpfully.

No need, said Jimmy hurriedly.

Yes, Mr. Acorn.

The burger isn’t exactly the key point, I think. Good company and good fun. That sort of thing. And I have some plans for her. A little more charm, a little less grease.

My new motto, said Ana gravely.

Yes, Mr. Acorn. Billiam nodded, then, after a quick pause: If I may, Mr. Acorn?

Yes?

Billiam laid a large wrench on the counter with such care that it made barely a sound. I confiscated this from Gustav, sir.

You what? The wrench was almost comically large, easily two feet long and as thick as Billiam’s wrist. Where did that come from?

From Gustav, said Billiam. As I believe I mentioned.

Ana swore. I thought I told him to stop taking equipment.

I believe he is answering to a higher power, as it were, said Billiam. Perhaps you could put it with the rest.

Sure, sighed Jimmy, reaching for the wrench. It turned out to be much heavier than Billiam made it look, and it slipped through his fingers and hit the ground with a resounding clang.

Need a little help with that? asked Ana with a smirk.

No, I’m—oof—good. Jimmy heaved the wrench over to a large trunk behind the counter, fiddled for a moment with the trunk’s combination lock, and placed the wrench on top of a pile of wrenches,