Sex, Soup, and Two Fisted Eating: Hilarious Weight Loss for Wives

By Katie Robles

Are you ready to lose weight and get healthy, but you hate celery sticks and sweat? This book is for you. Sex, Soup, and Two Fisted Eating is:
*Fun: laugh-a-minute encouragement complete with cartoons, poetry, and enough cheesy puns to make you lactose intolerant.
*Sustainable: for long term results, look no further because the healthy habits you develop will help you stay fit until you die. (See how encouraging this is?)
*Flexible: easily adaptable to fit your needs and preferences like a need for chocolate and a preference to avoid spandex, for example.
*Educational: the science supporting healthy habits is explained in a memorable way, like how REM sleep is like a toilet.

• Language: English
• Publisher: House of Bread Books
• Release date: Aug 9, 2016
• ISBN: 9781681900346

Katie Robles

Katie Robles is a homemaker and mother of four young sons. Her hobbies include gardening with her husband, pet chickens, and sneaking vegetables into baked goods. She enjoys going to the bathroom alone, teaching classes for children part time at the YMCA, writing romance novels, and blogging at www.sexsoupandtwofistedeating.com.

Book preview

Chapter 1: Sex

Chapter 1: Sex

Sex and Sleep: Start with S

Two key elements of a healthy lifestyle are united in sex: sleep and exercise. Sex is exercise and it induces sleep. No matter which diet route you choose, if you don’t get enough sleep and you don’t get your butt off the sofa, studies show that your body is going to fight you every step of the way.

Research shows that people who consistently get a full night’s sleep lose more body fat while on a diet than those who don’t. * You can lose weight with inadequate sleep, but your body tends to burn muscle for extra energy and hold onto fat. In other words, if you don’t hug your pillow enough, your body will make its own.

Science has also confirmed that when we’re tired, we not only eat more, but we crave high calorie foods. The emotional food craving part of our brain takes charge and the logical decision making part of our brain takes a back seat. A sleepy brain appears to not only respond more strongly to junk food, but also has less ability to rein that impulse in. *

If you don’t trust the experts, do your own research. Ready? Get eight hours of sleep two nights in a row. Does a salad sound appetizing? Do you have the energy to make one? Good. Okay, now get six hours of sleep two nights in a row. What are the chances you’ll exercise today? Are fat and sugar your new best friends? Bingo.

So how do we get more sleep? For many of us, we simply haven’t made sleep a priority. Have you ever noticed how early you go to bed when the power is out or you’re camping? (I mean real camping, without power hookups or smart phone hot spots. When it’s dark, you’re bored.) Screens, be they television, iVision, or webvision, have a way of making us feel more awake than we are or should be. If you turn them off, you will increase your chances of going to bed on time by 200%. That was a scientific study done by yours truly. I aced 9th grade Biology, so you know my results are accurate.

The more I research the effects of sleep on the body, the more convinced I’m becoming that few things are more important for your health. Now, some of you reading this work the night shift, or have newborns, or other situations in life that interrupt your sleep and are beyond your control. I know you’re sleeping the best you can and you have my sympathy and a pillow if you ever stop by to visit. I’m talking to myself and all the other idiots out there who don’t know how lucky we are that if we choose to, we can be well rested.

Ladies, maybe you don’t have the willpower to turn off the TV and get yourself into bed at a decent hour. However, you have at your disposal one of the most powerful forces in nature: your husband’s desire for intimacy. Here’s how you tap into that power. Pick a night (or several nights) of the week and say this: Husband, I want you to seduce me at nine o’clock tonight. I will say yes. I need to be asleep by ten. Your husband will remember. He might be incredulous. After all, it sounds too good to be true, but he will remember. Nine o’clock rolls around and badda-bing, badda-boom, a good night’s sleep!

Psalm 127:2 says that God grants sleep to those he loves. Sleep is a blessing! A gift! Not a necessary evil.

***

REM Sleep is Like a Toilet

REM Sleep is Like a Toilet

REM sleep is like a toilet,

Flushing proteins from my head.

REM sleep is like a toilet,

Cleans my brain while I’m in bed.

REM sleep is like a good shrink,

Helps me process how I feel.

REM sleep is like a good shrink,

Glad or sad, it helps me deal.

REM sleep is like a movie,

Gives me dreams where I’m the star.

REM sleep is like a movie,

Sad or sweet or just bizarre.

REM sleep is like a Xanax,

Lowers stress and blood pressure.

REM sleep is like a

Reviews for Sex, Soup, and Two Fisted Eating

[jbarr5 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

ON THE ROPES BY HALLEE BRIDGEMAN Have read other books by the author and have enjoyed them.This one starts out with Mara and she's relocated to Western Florida and helps the pastor with the gardening.Love how the quote from the Bible relates to the teenage boys who are there to help with some work before they are given the Wifi code.Very precise with details of taking care of the snake bite wounds. Then the story goes back to three years earlier and the twin women are doing medical rounds as part of their medical education.Victor, the boxer had banged up hands and they met for coffee in the morning and Dr. Ruth Burnette invited him to church later that night.Then the story alternates between the two time frames...Interesting learning about the boxing career as it also follows their time together in a relationship.Frightening some of the scenes as it deals with the mob. Victor relies on his Bible to help him get through the tough days.Found it a bit confusing to go from the present to the past where the characters are using different names. You don't find out why til later in the book.Would have been a great story in chronological order also. Story goes from past, present and future but in mixed up order.Discussion questions at the end along with a luncheon and recipes for the discussion.Other works by the author are highlighted at the end.I received this book from The Book Club Network (bookfun.org) in exchange for my honest review.

[anne_rightler-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

On The Ropes by Hallee Bridgeman is a novella of suspense and romance. Ruth, a surgical resident, is witness to a Russian Mafia execution and is now in witness protection. Emotions have been like a roller coaster ride, overwhelming and threatening to destroy her, yet her faith in God sustains her. Victor, professional boxer, is the heir to the Mafia business and deeply in love with Ruth. Bridgeman brings a fast-paced, action-packed story to her readers. From the first page to last, this novella is an edge of the seat kind of book that has a couple "wow, I didn't see that coming" scenes too. Will Ruth live to testify? Will she ever be able to live a normal life without looking over her shoulder, watching for hitmen? On The Ropes is a quick, captivating read that lovers of romantic suspense won't want to miss.I received a copy of this book through The Book Club Network in exchange for my honest review.

[harley0326 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What a pager turner this book is. It completely took me off guard and I loved how the suspense kept building to an action packed ending. Ruth seems to have a nice life. She is a surgical resident and loves her job. She likes taking care of people and the staff at the hospital find her to be very compassionate around patients. Her safe world is shattered one evening when she witnesses a horrible crime. Now she must do everything possible to keep her whereabouts secret. Would you give up your safety to testify against someone? Victor is Ruth's boyfriend and a professional boxer. He has eyes only for Ruth and tries to keep her away from his father's business. Victor's dad is a well known Mafia boss and will do anything to protect his empire. I did enjoy how the author used a violent crime to show how a person can find redemption. Victor knows that Ruth is in danger and wants to protect her. Can Ruth trust Victor? There is a bit of violence in the book, but the author did a great job of describing it to help readers understand the danger Ruth and Victor were in. The story is fast paced and I loved how the author touched on redemption. Will Victor believe he can be forgiven? There are several moments in the book where I gasped at the intrigue. I kept thinking as I read the story about the scripture,"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Get ready for a story that has intrigue, trust and forgiveness with a powerful ending. I received a copy of this book from Bookfun.org and this is my honest opinion.

[grammy57 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a novella and it was very interesting. The main characters were well developed. The story flowed well. It kept my interest throughout. It ended well, though a bit condensed, but it is just a novella. The editing was mostly good. a few extra words in a sentence or two, nothing major. The plot held my interest and I think it would make a good "full size" novel. God's presence in the characters lives was evident. It showed God well in a non-preachy manner which might turn away some people. A good Christian read that I can recommend. Some violence but nothing graphic. This book was given to me through bookfun.org in exchange for my honest review