How long have you been at diet rock bottom? What's keeping you stuck? For many they have tried things like Intuitive Eating yet don't feel successful because they aren't thin. Can you relate? There is a way through this. Listen to this latest Love Food Podcast episode for more. Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds. This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. This episode's Dear Food letter: Dear Food, I have been trying to make things right with you for a while now. I've been exploring intuitive eating for the last year, and we've had some successful moments together. Remember when I wasn't able to keep ice cream in the house? Now I have multiple containers, which I eat when I'm in the mood and don't think about when I'm not. That's something I feel proud of.   I still make mistakes when it comes to our relationship - I know there are times I eat past fullness, and there are times I eat when I'm not hungry. I am trying to be as compassionate as I can with myself, but then l I see myself in a mirror.   I threw away my scale in October, and haven't been on one since. But it's pretty obvious I have gained weight. Mostt of my old clothes don't fit, and getting ready for work and social events is fraught with anxiety. I have bought things in new sizes,  but  I cannot shake the awful feelings that almost paralyze me when I see myself.   I was not somebody who needed to be weight restored. What I feared would happen, happened. I gained weight. I always thought that if I binged less and practiced intuitive eating that I would somehow magically become thin. That didn't happen for me. I know I can't go back to dieting, but I also can't seem to accept myself this way.   I know about body positivity, HAES, and fat acceptance, but I can't seem to get there. Forget about body love - I'd be happy with body neutrality. It seems impossible for me to love my body at this weight when I know look better thinner.   I don't know what to do about us, Food. I will not diet again, but I second guess my choices a lot. Even when I hear experts talk about intuitive eating, they always say things like, "Don't worry - you won't always want to eat Oreos or pizza" as if those foods truly are bad. I  want to give myself freedom to eat whatever I want, but in exchange, I hate how I look.   Where do we go from here, Food?   Love, Feeling like a failure Show Notes: Virgie Tovar and her latest book (aff) You Have the Right to Remain Fat Ragen Chastain and her blog Dances with Fat Sonya Renee Taylor and her latest books The Body is Not an Apology and Celebrate Your Body (A body image book for girls) Intuitive Eating by Tribole and Resch Love Food Podcast with Amy Pershing Julie Dillon RD blog Link to subscribe to the Love Food’s Food Peace Syllabus. Eating Disorder Dietitian Julie Dillon RD blog Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.  Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!