Valuable Lessons from a Thing Called Life: How to Lose Weight, Overcome an Eating Disorder, Be Your Best...And Much More

By Margaret Vence

If you have ever lived through some sort of life changing experience or have dealt with, or are currently dealing with, an eating disorder, a hurtful offense, a weight issue, a type of girl bullying, or with being singled out for being different in any way, shape or form—whether it was for not dressing with brand-name clothing, speaking with an accent or a lisp, wearing glasses, asking what some thought were too many questions during class, or for simply being you—then this book is one you will relate to. This book is dedicated to you and to giving you hope and some direction in finding internal, as well as external help.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Margaret Vence
• Release date: Dec 30, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310566264

Margaret Vence

Hello, reader!Vence means to conquer, to win, to overcome. I find this to be an appropriate name, as I am passionate about telling others how I conquered a weight issue, lost weight many years ago, and kept the pounds off. I am passionate about being healthy and doing what I can to feel and look my best.I have often been asked what I do to stay thin, so I decided to put it in writing. I am no licensed dietician, nutritionist, body builder or fitness trainer; I am a normal person who tries to eat right, work out some and take care of what God has given me.It is my desire to share with others how I lost weight and how I have kept it off. I hope to motivate enough people to take charge and say, “Enough is enough, and I am going to do what I have wanted to do for several years now.”I love nature and I love people. I believe this world would be a much better place if we all treated each other with respect and did not envy others, but instead worked to better ourselves.This work is part fictional and part non-fictional. I tell short stories about every-day issues many people face, such as defining self, learning to love ourselves, adapting to a new culture, learning a language, and dealing with some sort of bullying--among other things. I do so via fictional characters and in a fictional manner. These stories did happen. I chose to tell them in a fictional way by creating fictional characters and intertwining the various experiences. Every one of them is meant to teach, to inspire, to motivate, and/or to make one reflect about what, if anything, one can change or do differently. The only non-fictional stories are those describing how I overcame an eating disorder, lost weight, and kept it off for 20 years by making the right choices and choosing me over food.I have a blog and welcome questions regarding my road to losing weight and keeping it off. I also provide resources that can help you get started on the road to learning about food and nutrition.

Book preview

Brand Name or Not, I Am Somebody

I never worried much about what I wore to school. I didn’t feel any pressure to dress like the other girls, nor did I feel in any way like my clothes were not up to par—though some would argue they weren’t, considering they were not the latest fashion or the designer labels that some of my classmates wore, such as Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein or some other trendy brands from well-known mall stores. My clothes were actually from discount stores, and I was okay with that.

I had so much less before I came here, and I now felt as if I had a lot. In my mind I had plenty; I felt very fortunate, with or without these brand name items. Sure, I will admit I did notice the labels on some of my classmates’ clothing and recall thinking they were quite nice, but I didn’t find myself feeling any less for not having them.

Besides already feeling lucky for what I now had, another possible reason I didn’t feel as though I needed to have brand-name things was that I didn’t grow up watching television commercials, portraying smiling shoppers having fun while buying all kinds of pretty and appealing clothes, shoes, purses, jewelry, toys and so on. And yet another reason could have been that I was way too busy studying and trying to learn English. I did not have much time left with all the going back and forth between a dictionary and a textbook to concern myself with fashions and watching television shows. This could have very possibly been a blessing in disguise!

Whatever the reason, my clothes or my shoes or my accessories were the least of my concerns. I was more concerned with my schoolwork and doing my very best so I could pass my classes; those were the things that really mattered to me and that I gave importance to.

No fancy label on a pair of jeans or unique, eye-catching logo on a shirt was going to make me feel any better for wearing it or any less for not wearing it. I felt so lucky already; therefore, I didn’t feel as though I lacked anything. And I didn’t feel any less fortunate.

I have learned that what we believe of ourselves to be true is what matters, and what we give importance to is what becomes important. If I had thought of myself as unfortunate for not having a certain logo on what I wore, then I would have felt unfortunate. Since I saw myself as lucky for having what I did have, then the logos and the brand names didn’t matter.

Lesson: Clothes or things don’t make us. It is all in what we believe and how we perceive a situation.

Ever Wondered: Who Am I? Or Why Am I?

I have often wondered about who I am and why I am. And I have figured out this much so far: I am a loving daughter and sister—that was not too hard to figure out. I am a mediator; I am quiet; I like to keep the peace. I am a perfectionist, which can be a hindrance. I am a writer, or so I’d like to think. I am a Christian—not a perfect one, not free from fault, but repentant when called for.

I am a giver. I am a teacher. I am a lover of humankind. I am a friend, and I can be broken hearted by someone who only pretends to be a friend and then strikes with the ultimate weapons of destruction: a venomous tongue and an insidious plan to crush. I am relentless; I don’t stay down for long.

I get angry when I see evil done to others. Why is there so much of it, Lord? I ask. How can we be made in your image and act so much unlike you?

I am strong and confident at times; I feel helpless at others. But I am a fighter. I am no quitter. I have a big heart, even with those who hurt me. I am trusting.

I feel joy in giving. I have so much to give but at times I am impeded from giving. This frustrates me. Who are they to shut doors in my face? I am disheartened. I ask God, Why, Lord? Then I remember his words: Do not fear, for I am with you. These words ground me.

But I am human, and my doubt returns when another door shuts or when I experience wickedness and twisted ways. Why, Lord? I ask again, doubting, not trusting. I am ashamed. I am getting better at trusting God’s promises and growing my faith. I recall his promises, and then I am grounded again.

I am all these things and more. I am a work in progress. So, I continue to seek within and without for who I am and why I am.

Do you ever wonder, Who am I? Or why am I? The good news is: You are not alone. We are all a work in progress, continuing to define and redefine ourselves over time.

Lesson: We are all unique. We are all human; therefore, we all ask ourselves this important question at one time or another.

Say What—Relational Aggression!

You walk into a room and you see a not-so-friendly expression on a certain girl’s face right before she turns away from you. You could swear this is a gesture of indifference or perhaps even hostility. But why? You have done nothing to her. She then proceeds to talk to the group with a smirk on her face and they chuckle. You can’t prove it, but you could swear it is gossip, and very likely about you.

The group ignores you and treats you like you are invisible. She seems to be in total control of the clique. You try to be