The Harvey Weinstein case came about several months ago, and one of the women in our community and I were talking about it. She said, “You know, Michelle, I feel like this is an opportunity for us to address such a common problem.” I have a done a lot of research to prepare for this post because I take this topic very seriously. Did you know that abuse thrives in isolation and that 50% of men in recovery admit that they have been physically abusive to their partner or spouse? And my guess is that close to 100% of men in recovery have been verbally abusive. Let’s get started by determining what abuse looks like. And you might have started off reading this thinking, “Well, Michelle, I’m not really in an abusive relationship.” And hopefully that's true, but will you promise me to read this and let me teach you what abuse looks and sounds like? If it doesn’t apply to you, then great, you’ll have confirmation and peace of mind. You’ll also have the tools to help another sister in our community who is going through this. But you might be surprised. Addiction might be pulling a fast one on you. And there might be more abuse in your relationship than you're aware of. So please, please give me just a few minutes of your day. I can't promise this is going to be a quick read because there's a lot of good stuff in here, but I can tell you it will be rich with information, helpful, and applicable. You are in a safe place with me. There’s no judgment. We are a sisterhood, and we’re all experiencing very similar things. We don’t judge ourselves, and we don’t judge each other. This might be the most important article you’ll ever read. So please keep an open heart and mind because we are in this together. I’m going to ask you some questions. And I want you to take the time to really think them over. Ask yourself: Does this apply to me? Is there any truth to this in my life? You know one of our core beliefs in the Love Over Addiction community is that we do the work. We're not powerless over this disease. We don’t just need to sit back and wait for them to get sober. We are willing and committed to doing the work. Recovery doesn’t come without amazing effort and the desire to be truthful with ourselves. Think of your loved one for a moment, and think about the effort that you know it will take for them to choose long-term sobriety. It is a huge commitment that takes a lot of energy, tons of love, lots of thought and research, and work. That same amount of energy is what you need to recover yourself. The amount of effort that your loved one needs to put into their sobriety is the exact amount of effort you need to put into your recovery. So I hope and pray that you will stop in between these questions and really answer them. Nobody is around for you to judge. This is just between you and me. Are you ready? Here are the signs and symptoms that you’ve been in an abusive relationship: Does he/she make you afraid by using looks or actions or gestures? Does he/she smash things, destroy property, abuse pets, or display weapons? Are they putting you down, making you feel bad about being yourself, or calling you names? Are they making you think you’re crazy? Does he/she play mind games or humiliate you and make you feel guilty? Does he/she control what you do, who you see and talk to, or what you read and where you go?   Are they limiting your outside involvement? Do they use their jealousy to justify their actions? Are they making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously? Is he/she saying the abuse didn't happen, shifting responsibility for abusive behavior, or saying you caused it? Does he/she make you feel guilty about the children, use them to relay messages, or use visitation to harass you? Do they threaten to take the children away? Is he/she treating you like a servant, making all the big decisions, acting like the master of the castle, and being the one to define your role in the relationship? Are they preventing you fr