How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You Too?

By Jason Haerich

You'd think he would have run out of things to say with his first book to his son, Talon: How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You?

It seems like dad is just as windy as ever as he shares his thoughts with his daughter Hannah as she prepares to leave for college.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jul 11, 2017
• ISBN: 9781365806995

Book preview

How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You Too?

How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You Too?

How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You Too?

Jason Haerich

Foreword by Christine Haerich

2017

Copyright © 2017 by Jason Haerich

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.

So there.

FIRST EDITION

ISBN 978-1-365-80699-5

Jason Haerich

Smithville, MO 64089

Dedication

To one of the very few people who I consider a worthy match in spirit, intelligence, and confidence.  She does lap me in beauty though.

My daughter, Hannah.

Foreword

Our Dearest Hannah,

If we could be the perfect parents to you, we would.  The love I have, and I know your Dad does too, is a huge love and one that comes from a place of wanting all the best things in life for you.  Trust me, if there was a pause button on life we would have hit it a long time ago so we could keep you our little one forever.

Now we are on the verge of another milestone, only this one involves big change. This milestone isn’t about just growing up, it’s about being a grown-up. Graduation says, OK, world. I’m ready. Let’s see where to go from here. It’s time for change and I’m ready to show you what I got. It’s time to spread my wings and fly.

As a parent, this moment causes us the most pride and the most pain. Our brains are full of excitement and wonder for you, but our hearts feel something different. We know the magnitude of the milestone and we know what follows.

Thank you for letting us join you on the journey and forgiving us for all the mistakes we made during your process. At times we watched you struggle and wanted to swoop in and rescue you, but we didn’t. We stood back and hurt right with you. Looking back, it’s those moments that you struggled that we think you grew the most.

You learned what true friendship looks like and you chose to beat your own path, even if that meant being left out of fun things. You learned to be more concerned with your character and your integrity than your reputation. You showed courage to stay you and not follow the crowd. You learned to laugh at yourself and laugh with others. You worked hard and you saw it pay off.

We are ready to take a step back now and watch your life unfold. It will be our biggest change and challenge yet, but we trust you and we trust you will embrace all that life gives you. We trust you are ready and you can handle whatever life throws at you.

You might not know what the future holds, but we are pretty sure we can make a few predictions. We believe you will continue to soar and grow. You will remember the lessons of your childhood and apply them as needed. You will contribute to your community, and you will fulfill your responsibilities to the best of your ability. You will stay true to who you are and you will continue to treat others with kindness. Because of that, you will find success, no matter how it is measured.

We are always here for you and are extremely proud of you!

I love you!

Mom

Introduction

Wow, I struggled with writing this book.  Talon’s book was written incredibly fast because, for the most part, it contained very little by way of new thought.  I had been preaching almost everything in his book regularly for the duration of both of your lives, so it was just a matter of writing it down.  His book does remain relevant though and in any event, this book should be identified as a companion to the first.  Almost everything in his book still applies to you as you enter adulthood.  This book on the other hand took quite a while because; A) Most of the things I have always said I already wrote in Talon’s, and B) You are an incredibly unique person who I truly believe is already on a strong path of personal reflection so many of the things I would typically write might be moot.  This book ended up being a bit different…

I was forced into a deeper reflection.  Fatherhood certainly takes a different turn between sons and daughters.  Any fears or concerns I have are sometimes contingent upon who in particular I am worrying about.  I don’t worry much about Talon being accosted in a parking lot, but on the flip side, I don’t worry about you getting accused of rape because someone regrets their decision from the night before.  I admit, the difference in fears has altered how I have dealt with you both while under my care and while I might not have seemed fair at the time, it was an honest effort to keep you physically safe.

Please take the information and advice contained in the book with the spirit it is given.  Yes, full disclaimer, sometimes even I’m challenged with adhering to my own advice so thanks for not calling that out.  Your mom and I have spent the last couple of decades with you and your brother as our main focus.  Bottom line, and at risk of sounding cliché – we only wish for your happiness and would move mountains for you to help you achieve that.

Dad

Chapter 1: Your Graduation Year

Your high school senior year is usually identified when you’re older as a halcyon period, however I think you have an odd advantage of graduating in a year that was so much more impactful than the early 90s when your mom and I graduated.  There are so many relevant issues and circumstances that have occurred lately that I envision the conversations and fights on a societal scale will have long reaching impacts for the rest of our lives.  As mentioned in the introduction, this book is a bit of a deviation from the book written for Talon, so to start off I thought it would be appropriate to document some of the stuff going on.  This will probably be much more interesting when you pick this book up years from now…

Enjoy the world but don’t trust it 

It does not take much to find something every day to enjoy, whether it be a beautiful day, a friendly dog or a smile from a random person.  There are so many things that are beautiful in the world and so many ways to derive happiness and freedom from simply being part of it all.  Sadly, I think most people are either unwilling or incapable of just stopping to enjoy all the good things and instead tend to be self-interested and devious enough to pursue their own plans; and often times willing to do so at the complete expense of others.  Sincere altruism is fairly rare and most efforts of kindness are given with the expectation of generating something in return.

My thoughts on this should not be a surprise to you as I’ve always been a realist leaning towards skeptic.  The point that needs to be made here is that despite true intentions, nobody should keep a stranglehold on your ability to truly enjoy the wonders and beauty every day can bring, should you choose to let it.  Go ahead and live, laugh and love everything that comes your way, but maintain your healthy perspective that your interaction with others will always contain plans and efforts serving their own purpose.  Keep a weather eye out for what seems to be too good to be true or even things leaning favorably as there might be ulterior motives to the actions and words others use around you.  There is never a need to allow the skepticism to ruin the beauty, but you’ll save yourself a lot of anguish if you know what to expect from the world.

Victimhood

The culture of people has evolved to match the world throughout history. Many things impact how people see and relate to their environments, and people have always been subject to new influences as they are introduced.  One of the more prevalent constructs of your graduation year is the uncomfortable perpetuation of victimhood as a cultural reality.  I’m not completely sure when the shift away from personal accountability occurred, or if it even did at all without me noticing it before, but it seems like the go-to response to any challenge nowadays is to cry victimhood and point the finger at something other than ourselves as the evil cause of our woes.  For as long as I can remember, we have always been a very litigious society which in and of itself demands that something victimized another thing, but I honestly can’t recall a time where the finger pointing has been so pervasive against such a broad range of people.  The common labels of today demonstrate this very well; misogynist, homophobe, racist, xenophobe…