The Curable Romantic: Advice for the Romance-Impaired

By Katharine Miller

From the introduction: We’re all a little romance-impaired in some way. Otherwise we’d have fewer self-help books and sappy love songs. The road to love is bumpy. Hell, the road within love is bumpy, steep, and has several sharp curves.

The Curable Romantic is a short collection full of humorous essays and illustrations focused on the challenges one encounters in matters of the heart. Each of the 25 essays explores a different aspect of relationships, from falling in love to calling it quits.

Drawing on inspiration from real life dating experiences, Katharine provides new insight into romantic behavior and shares some possible solutions and tips for successful relationships. When you need a fresh perspective on relationships and have grown tired of the Men are from Mars and Just Not that into You self-help selections, pick up The Curable Romantic.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Katharine Miller
• Release date: Jan 17, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458028105

Katharine Miller

Katharine is the author of The Curable Romantic: Advice for the Romance-Impaired, the best-selling 30 Failures by Age 30, and the author-illustrator of BORIS: Robot of Leisure. Katharine is also an artist and graphic designer specializing in low-brow pop art inspired by 20th century popular culture. Katharine’s paintings, part of her Robot of Leisure series, have been exhibited in galleries and public spaces across North America. View more of her work at thatkatharine.com.

Book preview

Published by Sparkling Observationalist

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thatkatharine.com

©2016 Sparkling Observationalist, Katharine!

Text ©2001-2009 by Katharine!

Illustrations ©2009 by Katharine!

All rights reserved.

06 15 09 4 3 2 Second Edition

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher, except in the context of reviews.

Errors or omissions will be corrected in subsequent editions.

ISBN: 978-0-9813866-0-7 

Dedicated to the Secret Boyfriend, who is neither secret nor a boyfriend.

acknowledgements

Most sincere thanks are extended to all who read through earlier drafts of this collection and shared their insights and opinions. Special thanks to Jeff Truelsen and Kristian Truelsen for their assistance, suggestions, and humor. And heartfelt appreciation to my editor Patricia Sterling, for her expert micro-editing skills.

contents

Introduction

1. Just Say No to Love

2. The Curable Romantic

Companionship

3. Want and Desire

4. Pithy Personality vs. Phat Physique

5. Love at First Sniff

6. Love Does Not Compute

7. Don’t Call Me, I’ll Text You

8. Six Stereotypes for Single Girls

Courtship

9. How Not to Screw Up Your Chances for a Second Date

10. Psychology and the Single Girl

11. Gift Giving in the 21st Century

12. Tongue Wagglin’

13. Undercover Lovers

14. The Trouble with Love Triangles

15. How to Tell if You’ve Got It

16. Guide to Pet Names

Relationship

17. An Exclusive Offer

18. Meet Her Makers

19. Your Place or Mine

20. You Brought ’er, You Adulterer

21. Seven Habits of Highly Ineffective Couples

Jumping Ship

22. How to Tell When You Don’t Got It

23. Break Hearts, Not Bones

24. Keepsake Disposal for the Recently Dumped

25. Alone Again? Naturally

Afterword

About the Author

introduction

Most people who stumble upon this book will ask Aren’t there enough books doling out fake advice about relationships?

To that I reply: Yes, there are...now.

I am not a love guru, sexpert, or world famous advice columnist. I have no degrees in social or personal behavior. I’m just an average girl with some observations and possible solutions based on real-world dating experiences. This book is intended to shed light on common cupid quandaries and rare romantic woes.

We’re all a little romance-impaired in some way. Otherwise we’d have fewer self-help books and sappy love songs. The road to love is bumpy. Hell, the road within love is bumpy, steep, and full of sharp curves.

The Curable Romantic strives to go beyond the typical gender stereotypes to uncover human truths. Whether you’re straight, gay, bisexual, transsexual, asexual, man, woman, or something in between, you’ve been in love at some point. The content does tend toward the heterosexual most times, but hopefully you can look beyond pronouns to find the key to a less dysfunctional relationship.

nolove

just say no to love

Love—it’s a word that is potentially dangerous and can have serious repercussions. Some of you may have heard about it or seen it on television. Some of your parents may have been in love. You may have already been in love yourself.

Tune out the hype and listen up. Love is a full-time addiction. Oh, it starts out small with a seemingly harmless crush. But soon, you’re hooked and looking for something stronger. You’re enamored, lustful, and filled with desire, all leading up to the hardest drug of all: l’amour.

Love can happen at any time, in any place. Mr. or Ms. Wonderful enters your life and it begins. You discover that you enjoy the same kinds of music and motion pictures. You find your special song on the jukebox at the local diner. Soon, he needs more. She needs a commitment. You’re lost in a moment and it slips out: "I