Dear Therapist: I Love My Best Friend Like a Brother. My Wife Hates Him.
Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.
Dear Therapist,
One of my best friends—I’ve known him since I was fourteen—is a bit of an inadvertent asshole. He can sometimes come off as incredibly insensitive, rude, and show-offy, and, for some reason, he competes with me in life. I am aware of these qualities, but I attribute them to his very difficult past and upbringing. I believe these experiences have given him a complex and some rough edges—hence my calling him an “inadvertent asshole.” To put it another way: I have known people who are nice, polite, and thoughtful, but who have not been there when I truly needed them. This friend, on the other hand, can come off as a prick, but if you
