Dear Daddy, Where are you?

By Angela M. Smith

The ‘Dear Daddy’ Anthology Project was conceived when the author’s father passed away in 2006. Even though her father lived in the home, she realized that she never knew him like other’s knew him. Knowing that it is too late to develop a father-daughter relationship, she pens her letter recalling events and circumstances that has shaped her life with a father she knew, but didn’t know. Selah!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Angela M. Smith
• Release date: Apr 12, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301114009

Book preview

Dear Daddy: Where Are You?

An Anthology of Hope

BY

Angela M. Smith

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Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are taken from The King James Version of the Bible

Dear Daddy: An Anthology of Hope

Smashwords Edition

Angela M. Smith

[e-mail]

~Contributing Authors~

Angela M. Smith a.k.a. Messenger Beloved & China ~ Kokomo, IN

Apostle Tracey George ~ Florence, SC

Stephanie Gregory ~ Nashville, TN

Christina Janet Masters ~ Jacksonville, NC

Sola Ogunseitan ~ Dagenham, Essex UK

Joanne Smith ~ Indianapolis, IN

To schedule any contributing author for a community or ministry event, in regards to this project, please contact:

Airgood & Associates, LLC

[e-mail]

IN MEMORY OF Daddy

~Jimmie Lee Smith~

January 17, 1927 – April 16, 2006

I dedicate this book to my father who did the finest he could to be the father he was. Selah!

Angela M. Smith

Kokomo, IN

Angela Marie (Heavenly Messenger Beloved) is born the ninth of ten children to Dr. Lurline Smith and the late Rev. Jimmie Lee Smith. She was reared in Florida where she received her childhood education and undergraduate studies in Accounting. A true advocate of knowledge, she is continuing her life-experience learning in Christian Counseling Psychology and worship arts literacy. Among other gifts, the Lord has called, appointed and anointed this author as a prophetic psalmist to deliver the yoke destroying Word of God for healing and restoration.

Messenger Beloved has survived years of emotional abuse through un-Godly relationships. Always seeking to be genuinely loved, she lost sight of her identity as her name so declares her to be. For the lack of love, she began to physically abuse herself by beating her knee to demise. This ultimately led to knee surgery. The spirit of accidents started to rule, and each accident was strategically centered on the destruction of her knee and her back. All in all, The Strength of Israel has been, and is, her hope in the days of evil.

China is blessed with three God-Ordained sons Gerald, Josue’ and Jordan; two grandsons Jalyn Dwight (decease) and Gerald II; and one daughter-in-law, Felicia. She is the CEO of S&M (Savior & Master) Consultants LLC located in Kokomo, IN, mom and Editor of Top Kids Magazine, created by her sons Josue’ and Jordan Hicks, and is a faithful congregant of Refreshing Springs COGIC under the leadership of Pastor A. Wendell Brown, Jr.

To schedule a speaking or worship appointment, you may reach her at [e-mail].

This Time

~by Angela M. Smith a.k.a. China

Dear Daddy:

It is stated that a sociopath is more likely to be one that grew up in a fatherless home. Well, I am forever grateful that my home, as a child and a period of time as an adult, was filled with your presence. I am honored that I was not one that had to be sent off to school somewhere, in the prime of my adolescence, to be reared by strangers--leaving me disconnected from home and family.

Although I didn’t know you in the healthy and full capacity of a father-daughter relationship, the value of you being in the home was priceless. Occasionally, we as children don’t recognize the gems in parents until we establish parent-adult child relationships with our own children. And even then the gratitude, at times, is too late. Meaning, our loved ones have gone on to eternity heaven or eternity hell and we are left wishing we could have, would have, should have, but didn’t.

As a child, I didn’t understand a lot of things. In those days, it was to be expected that what I wanted to understand couldn’t be uttered by you or mom. I think that even if you wanted to or could speak, it would have been from your point of view and not from the sum total truth of the matter. As it is, to have the unbroken truth of any explanation is to not only have his story told, but her story told and with understanding. This I have come to identify with concerning my children.

In some situations, I’ve learned to conceal the truth that existed so that my situations didn’t look as bad as they were. However, at other times I would react worse than the situation required, which ultimately created a bellow of confusion for everyone involved. My plight was only as dreadful as my response. Therefore, I had to mature spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically, so that I would react differently to the trials that beat up on me.

You know dad, it wasn’t until the 12th hour of your illness that I became conscious. Of what? That the onset behavior leading up to your death to life experience was not an intentional provocation. Since your departure, I’ve spoken with mom about creating a program in your honor. This program will offer a workshop entitled African Americans & Alzheimer’s Disease--A Faith Approach. What I’ve discovered is that majority of the disease research and studies are bordered with reference to the physical and physiological (brain deterioration and function) aspects for patients and how these changes affects the caregivers.

However, I believe that when we couple that information with the faith and unconscious being of ourselves, it generates a healthier method of psychologically dealing with the disease (and its outcome) for both patient and caregiver. Hmmm, and this principle applies to a score of ailments. My hope is that mom will consider this when I present it to her--again.

Anyway, like I mentioned above, it wasn’t until the 12th hour of your illness that I became conscious that your bothersome behavior was not premeditated. Had I known all that you were enduring, the signs and the symptoms, I would have been prepared to effectively deal with you as you were--an innocent person in an aged body, facing a lion’s share of system failures.

As I had shared with you a few months before Josue’s birth in 1998 (eight years before your passing) I truly felt like you did things to wind me up. When I sat and talked with you and discovered that you had no remembrance of those ill-mannered behaviors, I was oh so utterly ashamed of myself for hating you all those years past. Hating you with a cause, I did. Yet, becoming aware that you didn’t remember inflicting pain was even the more upsetting.

Hmm, I guess this was all part of my maturing process. Undoubtedly, it was a step in the right direction of learning how to effectively communicate; how to get a clear understanding of an issue; and how to forgive. This is why knowledge is so important. It is important for us to KNOW those we labor among. Carelessly, that phrase, know those we labor among, has been used to relate to the fellowshipping of laborers in the church, the body of Christ.

In spite of this, I submit to myself and my readers that how can we know them (laborers in the church) if we fail to know those we live with, eat with, sleep with, wash clothes with, play with, argue with, grow up with, and love? Aren’t the church laborers the family laborers? I guess had I labored wisely, and not