Singly Ever After: …Because Single Parenting Is Not Happily Ever After!

By Amanda Skold

I wrote this book after years of struggling as a single mom. I compiled all the little tricks and tips that has saved me time, money, and tears. I know how busy it is to be a single parent, so you will find this book to be a short and easy read. I wanted to offer tangible and practical advice that you could put into practice right away. With a little humor and a lot of grace, we can not only get through this, but we can do it well!

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Sep 7, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512751888

Amanda Skold

Amanda is a long time single mom of over nine years. She is currently raising two children, ages eleven and thirteen in Central Minnesota. She has lead a single mom’s ministry at her church for several years. She has a spunky, practical, and direct approach to life. Her passion is deep, real, meaningful relationships.

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Copyright © 2016 Amanda Skold.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Edited by Carol Kuhn, M. A.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-5187-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-5188-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016912528

WestBow Press rev. date: 9/7/2016

Contents

Chapter 1 How Did I Get Here?

Chapter 2 Not My Ideal

Chapter 3 Get Connected

Chapter 4 Taking Care Of #1

Chapter 5 Be Flexible And Simplify!!!!

Chapter 6 Pure Dating Bliss

Chapter 7 Encouragement For The Times Of No Second Chances

Recipes

Individual Bible Study

Leader’s Guide To Interactive Bible Study

To each and every one of my readers,

After many years of struggling at being a single mom, all the mistakes, all of the tears, and the all-time lows that I did not know were possible, I came to a place of surrender where I returned to my faith.

Yes, I heard all the clichés, was shown a lot of sympathy, and plenty of people offered scripture to help. Those were all well intentioned and greatly appreciated, but what about when the rubber meets the road? What does one do?

This is not a book of fluff. I speak to all single parents, whether you have found the hope in Jesus or not. I have intentionally made this book brief, straight-forward, and to the point. You and your children were created on purpose with a purpose. Therefore, I hope that you can walk away with some real tangible ideas to help you be the best single parent you can be. My wish for you is that you would find a new hope and see that your future is so much more than your current circumstances!

CHAPTER 1

How did I get here?

Welcome to the toughest job of your life. Single parenting is certainly not for the faint of heart. I believe wholeheartedly that God has purpose in this. In spite of this being the toughest job in the world, He knows you have what it takes. Be encouraged dear friend, you can do this!

Before we dig into the practical, I think it is important to settle our past. There are many things we carry from the past that we may not be aware of how they are affecting us. Childhood scars. Past mistakes. Even little things that were engrained in us from our parents. If we can look at the past, we can move forward in a more positive and productive way.

How did you get to this place? Did you wake up one day to suddenly realize you are a single parent or did you see it coming? For some of us, we lost our spouse or significant other. Through no fault or action of our own life was simply here and then gone. Grief is a heavy load and sometimes it may seem we will never be okay again. But, if this is you, my deepest and most sincere condolences.

For some, there never was a relationship. A one-night stand has left you with a child. Nowhere in this book will you find any judgement or condemnation. I simply want to help you be the very best single parent you possibly can be.

The rest may have watched the slow fade of a relationship coming to an end. Hurts and differences have replaced a once loving relationship. In this scenario there is great turmoil and often deep hurts and anger.

Most of us, though, saw single parenting coming. We understood while walking through the process what was happening. But, for some of us we woke up one day to have that cold reality smack us in the face. Much like your two-year-old waking you up by whacking you in the face just after you have fallen asleep. We suddenly realize the magnitude of what life has dealt.

This moment hit me the day after my ex-husband Brian died. My kids were just two and three. We had divorced only five weeks earlier. This was my choice.

You see, he was a soldier. An honorable soldier at that. He served in Iraq. The war and all the things he saw had left an impression in his heart. He saw things that most of us could not fathom. He experienced things that were both good and bad. He got to see the beautiful smiling children in an orphanage. He saw the impressive construction sites where schools, hospitals, and other positive changes were underway.

While, on the other hand, he saw great destruction. Three soldiers died during his tour. He saw images of dead bodies. For over a year he lived with the constant threat of harm. These great high and low experiences had changed him forever.

Our men and women do amazing things while at war! These experiences, though, can rock even the bravest to their very core. When Brian came home, he came home to strangers. We had grown and changed without him. I had learned to juggle it all. I completed nursing school. I lost 90 pounds. Our daughter, who was born while he was deployed, didn’t know him at all, nor he her.

He came home with a barrage of issues and negative behaviors. None of which were small or insignificant. It took me years to learn and understand that these were all symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Walking through this was so hard to understand how someone I chose to love could behave so badly.

It was almost as if I was watching a horror film in my own home. I couldn’t even wrap my head around some of the things he did. The problem was, over time, all I could see were his negative actions. I could no longer see the good.