Help Me Help Myself

By David Chilcote II

Help Me Help Myself is a self help ebook written to empower people to live a happier life. It is authored by David Chilcote, a successful medical social work therapist, and is designed to help people learn to help themselves. Using stories and examples, as well as tried and true therapeutic advice, this self help book is easy to read and can be effective in helping people facilitate change.

It is further designed as a reference book that can be referred to and re-referred to as life challenges come and go. Simply written, simply applied. Embrace it and enjoy life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Chilcote II
• Release date: Oct 12, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465972972

David Chilcote II

I am a Master's prepared Social Worker who left the field of counseling after a very successful career of 13 years. Currently, my wife and I co-own a small professional recruiting firm in SW Florida. I have enjoyed the arts of drawing, writing, computers and creating for many years.

Book preview

Help Me Help Myself

By

David Lawrence Chilcote II, MSW

Copyright © 1997

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

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Help Me Help Myself

Proven self help strategies that work to help us rebuild our happiness and well-being

David Lawrence Chilcote II, MSW

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Other works by this author:

The Reunion

Yikes! She’s Going To College

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Table of Contents

Preface

Chapter 1 Emotions

Chapter 2 Dealing with Shame

Chapter 3: Understanding Our Parents

Chapter 4 Managing Our Past

Chapter 5 Forgiveness of Others

Chapter 6 Forgiveness of Self

Chapter 7 Dealing with Divorce

Chapter 8 The Art of Appreciation

Chapter 9 Children

Chapter 10 It’s All about Attitude

Appendix 1 Feeling and Emotions

Acknowledgements

About The Author

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Preface

Help Me Help Myself is a self-help book written specifically to help people live a happier life. It is written by a highly successful medical social work therapist and is designed to help people learn to help themselves. Using tried and true therapeutic methods, this book is easy to read and yet very effective in helping people change. It arises out of ideas spurned in therapy and in consultative collaboration with professional colleagues, children, clients, parents and spouses.

It is further designed as a reference book that can be referred to and re-referred to as troubles come and go in our life experience. Simply written, simply applied. Enjoy it and enjoy life.

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Help Me Help Myself

Layout and illustrations are produced by Kathleen C. Chilcote

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Chapter 1- Emotions

Most people believe emotion is the way we feel about the events in our lives; that emotions just happen to us. I’m an emotional wreck, or I’m so emotional, or He or she has gotten me so upset, are a few common phrases people speak. In reality, our emotions are only partially about feelings. The thoughts mentioned above and many others are really just beliefs that have become ingrained into our being from our life experiences and from accepting teachings from those around us.

Emotion is best defined as a feeling we allow to exist in our life stemming directly from a value we place upon a thought. Whew, that’s a mouthful and worth re-reading slowly. It may sound difficult to understand, but one can understand it very shortly. The fact that emotion is a feeling we allow to exist, is well worth studying and understanding. To truly understand this is the basis upon which all of us can use to positively change how we feel.

Notice the beliefs evident behind this truth:

1. Only we can control how we feel; not the people, places, things around us, nor the events we experience.

2. Feelings are not much more than thoughts we permit to influence our mood.

3. As it relates to emotions, perception is much more important than reality.

Let’s take a look at how emotions work. Emotions are affected by events, perceptions and the processes of valuation.

An event happens that we experience.

We place a value on that event.

Based upon our valuation, we have a particular emotional reaction.

The emotional reaction affects our current and forthcoming experiences.

Because of our individualized experience and learning prior to any given event, we perceive the event in an individualized manner. Simply said, each person can react differently to any given event. Perception is a thought process that has been taught to each of us through a series of rewards and punishments in our growing up, which we incorporate into our being. Based upon that training, when an event occurs, we can subconsciously put a value on the event and that value affects our emotions, negatively, positively or neutrally. Those emotions affect how we perceive the next event, etc.

Typically, when we have a negative emotion, most of us have a bad habit of placing blame for that negativity on an event, a person or an experience. This is an unhealthy habit, but one that can easily be changed. With a little work and a little insight, we can control our emotional response to any event in our life without blaming others people, places or things. This is much healthier for all of us and makes our experience in life much nicer.

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Emotion can best be described as a feeling that is born in thought, tied to a belief and an assigned value.

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