I was working with a client and she was stuck on the idea of being authentic with our feelings while at the same time taking responsibility for them and choosing what I call “helpful thoughts.”
So this week we're going to talk about the difference between processing our feelings and holding onto our feelings.
The easiest way is to think of it as sensations vs words. Thoughts are words (sentences, usually), and feelings are physical sensations. We read the tight shoulders and clenched stomach as anxiety or anger. Focus on what the body is experiencing.
We’re told to process our emotions, not to ignore how we feel, to honor our feelings, but we need to get really clear on what that means.
Going in thought circles... ruminating on that one horrible thing or that offensive thing she/he said... that's not feeling your feelings. That's just having a thought and getting really attached to it being true and having that thought over and over until you can't see your way out of it.
This week I'm teaching you how to process a feeling.
The deeper question I think is really, when is it a feeling and when is it intuition? If I know that I’m responsible for my feelings, does that mean I can’t ever use them to help guide me? How do I know the difference?
Your intuitive sense is not urgent. It is calm and clear. It doesn’t speak to you in rules like “he shouldn’t” or accusations like, “how dare he” or desperate questions like “how can I possibly not be hurt or be happy like this?” Trust that when you quiet the screaming, loud, urgent emotions, that inner voice will certainly come up for you.