Leaving the OCD Circus: Your Big Ticket Out of Having to Control Every Little Thing

Written by Kirsten Pagacz

Narrated by Emily Sutton-Smith and Greg Tremblay

“It’s like the meanest, wildest monkey running around my head, constantly looking for ways to bite me.” That was how Kirsten Pagacz described her OCD to her therapist on their first session when she was well into her 30s?she’d been following orders from this mean taskmaster for 20 years, without understanding why.

Initially the tapping and counting and cleaning and ordering brought her comfort and structure, two things lacking in her family life. But it never lasted; the loathsome self-talk only intensified, and the rituals she had to perform got more bizarre. By high school she was anorexic and a substance abuser?common "shadow syndromes" of OCD. By adulthood, she could barely hide her problems and held on to jobs and friends through sheer grit. Help finally came in the form of a miraculously well-timed public service announcement on NPR about OCD?at last her illness had an identity.

Leaving the OCD Circus reveals the story of Pagacz’s traumatic childhood and the escalation of her disorder?demonstrating how OCD works to misshape a life from a very young age?and explains the various tools she used for healing including meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy, yoga, exposure therapy, and medication. Pieces of her art scattered throughout the book add depth and humor to her stories.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Vibrance Press
• Release date: Jan 16, 2017
• ISBN: 9781624614262

Kirsten Pagacz

Kirsten Pagacz was born in 1966 and grew up in Oak Park, IL. OCD came to her life when she was nine years old. At the onset, it was a welcomed distraction that took Pagacz away from her chaotic childhood. Her OCD was like a secret friend that always had interesting things for her to do. By high school she was deep in the clutches of her illness. Pagacz also developed the shadow syndromes of anorexia and substance abuse. When she was 32, after a complete mental collapse, Pagaczwas diagnosed with severe OCD. On that day, in front of her doctor, she found one grain of sanity left within herself. From that one grain she had to grow a peaceful warrior, because the fight of a lifetime was in front of her. Kirsten wanted to do more than merely exist. She wanted joy back. She was tired of being robbed of literally thousands of hours while trying to comply with the demands of her OCD. Since being diagnosed with severe OCD, Pagacz has been actively on a path to wellness and stability. Today, her OCD is in the side car, and she’s driving behind the wheel and teaching other sufferers to do the same.

Reviews for Leaving the OCD Circus

[Éva Gabriella Bíró · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

IT is genial how she wrightes. Of you have OCD, IT is the Best help.

[eediriweera · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Reflecting self with
Compassion
And conciousness , simple easy to understand

[S Shelton · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This was an incredibly powerful story with so many lessons for anyone who is suffering from OCD or who loves somebody suffering from OCD. I think Kirsten so much for sharing her story and wisdom