In coaching, there’s a concept known as ‘The Manual’ - an unspoken set of rules we hold other people to without their knowledge.  In a negotiation scenario, this line of thinking can be problematic, counter-productive and destructive to our ability to really advocate for ourselves. Our employers aren’t automatically aware of the specific core values we bring to an organization. Expecting them to “just know” erodes our confidence, and holds us back from optimizing our employment outcomes. How do we practically stop basing our success on how other people respond? How do we shift towards a more beneficial and empowering mindset? In this episode, I talk about why assumptions set us up for failure, and how to optimize what you control. Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode    The danger of trying to control other people in negotiation Why is it hard to fully advocate ourselves in a negotiation when we’re making assumptions and holding the other side to a set of rules they have no idea about?   Why we have to focus on what we control and let go of everything elseFraming our success in negotiation around someone’s response can foster discouragement and defeatist thinking. How do we positively focus on optimizing what we can control instead?    How to bounce back from a fumble How can we flip a negotiation fumble into an opportunity to raise the bar and create an opportunity for mutual value?