Concepts: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve Communication Skills

By Armani Talks

3 Reasons Questions Come Off As Disrespectful

User-Friendly

Why Unlearning is Difficult

Organic Likability

• Language: English
• Publisher: Armani Talks
• Release date: Apr 18, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869039965

Book preview

3 Reasons Questions Come

Off As Disrespectful

Questions are a great way to display social skills.

Asking them shows presence, charm, and curiosity.

But at times, our questions end up offending the other person.

Why?

3 possible reasons.

1. Repetitive

The first reason is because this person hears the question all the time.

If a person comes up to you and says they are a Scientologist, I'm pretty sure you don't have that much information regarding Scientology.

Heck, the only information you may have is that one infamous South Park episode on Scientology!

That's when the question:

‘Do you guys really worship aliens?’

Is asked.

They give an eye roll because they hear that question all the time from their friends, family, and coworkers.

2. Reminds Them of a Dark Moment

Another reason a person gets offended is because the question reminds them of a past trauma or present inadequacy.

Back to the Scientology example...

Ever since that South Park episode came out, a practicing Scientologist was never seen the same again.

He was bullied incessantly by his classmates for worshipping aliens.

Nowadays, when their adult self is asked, do you guys really worship aliens?

They are reminded of being ostracized from their peers.

3. Bait

A bait is a question that is meant to make someone look foolish.

When the question, do you guys really worship aliens, is asked…

It’s not viewed as a question by the other person.

It's viewed as bait.

Even if you have the most inquisitive attitude regarding their belief system...

They think you’re trying to make them look foolish.

User-Friendly

A couple of days ago, I began watching a show on YouTube.

The first half was on YouTube, the second half was on Rumble.

For me to watch the rest of the show, I had to download Rumble.

Rumble has been making news as of late because it's a free speech platform.

You can say whatever you want without worrying about getting penalized.

I downloaded Rumble and began using it.

20 minutes in, I noticed a few issues.

One, the platform did not look beautiful.

It had a poor color selection, cluttered menu, and a confusing feed.

Second, the time stamps were in the description, but not in the time bar.

So I had to look through the description, find the part I wanted to see, then go on the actual time bar and use my fat thumb to drag to the part that I wanted to see.

Third problem was when I closed the Rumble app, rather than saving where I left off, it made me start back over.

Granted, Rumble is new.

But if the app can be more user-friendly, then it has a lot of potential.

As I was noticing the deficiencies in Rumble, I thought about communication skills.

Just like I wanted Rumble to be more user-friendly, the audience wants our message to be more user-friendly.

They don’t need 50 ideas when 1 will do.

They don’t need pompous Shakespearian language when simple language will do.

They don’t need a 30-minute talk when a 6-minute talk will do.

An easy way to make our message user-friendly is to add:

‘For Dummies’ at the end of the conversation topic.

-How the internet works for dummies.

-How to cook lasagna for dummies.

-Podcasting for dummies.

Recently, I wanted to make a YouTube video on propaganda and how it spreads.

Initially, I was thinking about listing out definitions, citing propaganda moments from history, and giving use cases.

But then I said:

‘Propaganda for dummies.’

Suddenly, my mind outputted a story from my childhood...

There was a time when I was sold on the sag your pants movement.

Where you ditch your belt, have your pants hanging low, while lifting up your pants with 1 arm.

This was apparently the cool thing to do.

The person who sold me on this movement was Rodkey.

He told me that sagging your pants was a vehicle for self expression.

I thought:

'Okay, I’ll try it out.'

I ditched my belt and sagged my pants.

Soon as I did that, I began to get props from others.

I'd get dapped up by kids that I never met.

Not sure if you know this, but you need to readjust your mannerisms to truly sag your pants.

Because if you have a belt, you can just stand up and walk.

But if you don't have a belt (and desperately need one), things change...

When you stand up, you need to immediately grab your pants, otherwise, they will fall off.

Once properly grabbing your pants, now walk.

But while walking, we have to hold the pants in a way where we aren’t giving ourselves a wedgie.

It's a learning process, I tell ya!

All for what?

-To look like a dumbass.

After a while of adopting this movement, one day, I saw myself in the mirror.

I became aware that I looked like an idiot.

It was time to rethink my life choices.

I pulled my belt out of my backpack, and put it on.

Years pass...

One afternoon, I learned how the sag your pants movement really began.

It wasn’t about 'self expression.'

The origins were much darker….

The movement began in prison!

A lot of new prisoners would sag their pants to show veteran prisoners that they were open to getting sexually assaulted.

In prison, some people are willing to get assaulted in exchange for protection.

The whole sag your pants movement that the school kids were sold on was based on a lie.

Plenty of adults still abide by this ridiculous movement to this day.

I experienced propaganda before.

Why not share that story rather than just listing out a bunch of definitions?

That story beautifully tied into how false information can easily spread and alter behaviors.

People love stories.

Some may consider stories the most user-friendly type of message out there.

Why Unlearning is Difficult

Learn, unlearn & relearn.

'Why is unlearning fueled by dread?'

Because when we unlearn, it makes us question our identity and life choices.

Very similar to debating someone.

In a fantasy world, all parties in a debate know that only the ideas are being attacked.

No need to personalize.

Everything remains civil.

But how often do debates really remain civil?

Rarely.

Why?

Because people don’t think the ideas are being attacked.

They think they are being attacked.

Similar to unlearning.

In a fantasy world, we only think concepts are being unlearned.

But in reality, we feel as though we made questionable life choices and were lied to.

-Unlearning happens fast or slow.

Andrew wholeheartedly believes in job security.

‘My job will never let me go! I am certain of this!!’

2 weeks later, Andrew gets fired and replaced with a script.

Mohit sees Andrew getting fired like that.

Now Mohit realizes he needs to unlearn the concept of job security.

He begins learning more about economics, supply and demand, automation and more.

When we are climbing up the mountain, the journey feels good.

Our destination is clear.

But when we're at the top of the mountain, we see that we have to come down.

Not only do we have to come down, we see there is another mountain to climb!

That’s when we think:

‘Wait, why the hell am I climbing mountains in the first place? I could have been home watching Netflix and eating Oreos.’

A lot of people refuse to unlearn because it makes them question their sense of self.

Oh well!

At times, the evidence is insurmountable.

The idea was flat out wrong.

Or the idea was right…back then.

Nowadays, a new idea has taken its place.

Unlearning is tough.

One of the toughest things a person will do.

But if you did it once, there is no reason you can’t do it again.

Organic Likability

When thinking about charisma, we often think about doing something:

All activities that require effort.

But there's a type of charisma that requires no effort.

I call it organic likability.

This is when you just happen to be someone’s preference.

A few years back, I used to be competitive with this guy named Bader.

Bader and I would compete on who could attract more girls.

Sometimes, he would win.

Sometimes, I would win.

But I knew one type of girls to never compete with Bader on…

Palestinian girls.

Number 1, he was Palestinian.

He was 6’3, had long hair, and could tell jokes.

He was a lot of Palestinian girls’ ideal archetype.

I was the opposite of that.

Palestinian girls would never look my way.

Even if they looked my way, their faces would look disgusted.

But the reverse was also true.

There were girls who had an organic preference to me, but found Bader gross.

Where Palestinian girls didn't like me at all, there were other girls who I naturally appealed to without saying a word.

This is what I call organic likability.

And this concept does only pertain to women, it pertains to creatures.

Babies and dogs.

What do they have in common?

Idk about you, but I believe they have an organic likability towards me.

I’m cursed on the plane.

Whenever I book a ticket, I get sat next to a crying baby.

Luckily, the baby is not crying for long…

Once I sit, the fat baby who was crying like a hyena suddenly begins settling down.

The mom looks relieved to notice the decibels dropping.

The baby looks at me.

Settling down more.

The fat face stares at me.

Observes me.

Then suddenly, the baby bursts out laughing!

The mom looks at me and smirks.

Some moms occasionally say:

‘He likes you!’

This has happened plenty of times.

From planes, to waiting at the DMV, to restaurants.

Dogs...

I used to have cynophobia.

An intense fear of dogs.

If a dog owner didn’t have their dogs on a leash, my heartbeat would skyrocket.

One time, I was waiting in a bus stop.

There was a lady who was standing with her dog.

Suddenly, the dog begins licking me.

Agitated, I moved my hand away.

The dog owner saw me looking agitated.

In a sassy tone, she said:

‘Don’t worry, he doesn’t have rabies. He’s licking you because he likes you.’

And I snapped.

I said:

‘I don't care! I don't want your dog licking me!!’

She was startled.

I didn’t know why she was startled.

Lady, you are at least 40, don’t you understand the intrusion of privacy your dog just committed on me?

I didn't get why she was startled like that until a couple of years later...

Since then, plenty of dogs would lick me.

It’s one thing if I was the only one there.

But plenty of times, dogs would weasel through crowds to sniff my balls and lick my palm.

I thought my agitation would build up.

But each time they licked me (rather than bite me) my cynophobia melted away.

I found the act endearing.

I had an organic likability towards dogs and I never knew it.

That lady I yelled at must have known it.

Her dog most likely was not licking every stranger, only the strangers that it liked.

That’s why she let her dog keep licking me.

Have you ever noticed someone having an organic likability towards you?

Multiple isolated incidents keep showcasing similar patterns?

This is the type of charisma that requires zero effort.

It’s born from just existing.

Birthdays

Have you ever met someone who goes all out for their birthday?

They don't just celebrate for a day.

They celebrate for the entire week.

Enthusiastically, they call you and say:

‘Hey bro! Monday, we're going to X place. Tuesday, we're going to Y place. Wednesday, we're going to Z place…’

They keep yapping away until the entire week has been covered.

In your mind, you're thinking:

‘Just tell me which day is the most important because I’m not coming out for every event.’

This nonchalant attitude towards birthdays is not something that you only hold towards others.

You hold this attitude towards yourself.

You're not the kind of guy who celebrates birthdays.

I've noticed people have polarized responses to birthdays.

If you forget to wish one group, they won't even notice it.

Heck, for this group, you have to remind them:

‘Hey, Facebook told me it's your birthday.’

Then this group says:

‘Oh yeah! Today is my birthday.’

But for another group, they take birthdays very seriously.

If they are not wished, it's like how a brother feels after not getting invited to his sister's wedding.

Resentment is in the air.

Another thing I've noticed about birthdays is how you can see a:

Transformation.

As a 5-year-old, people love celebrating their birthdays.

There are balloons and cakes.

As a 35-year-old, people are often iffy about their birthdays.

Especially if they are not where they want to be in life.

Even if this 35-year-old is happy, others often say negative statements:

‘Say goodbye to your joints. This is the year where it hurts to walk!’

Around the 50-year mark, I’ve noticed a change in attitude (hopefully).

Plenty of folks are like:

‘Wow!! I really made it to age 50. Let's make the second half of my life much better than the first.’

Plenty of people don’t make this transformation though.

Their bitter attitude at age 35 only intensifies at age 50.

Which I believe ties into my final point.

The final observation I have regarding birthdays is more so a recommendation.

We should stop calling it years-old.

Instead, we should call it levels.

5-years-old -> Level 5

35-years-old -> Level 35

50-years-old -> Level 50

When we say level, each year makes the person feel like they are powering up.

When we say years-old, each year makes the person feel like they are rotting.

I’m not hating on years-old though.

Years-old works great with objects.

Like cars, computers, and shoes.

But anything with emotions, level packs a stronger punch.

Half Leader & Half Follower

Every now and then, an actor goes from being an actor to a director.

One thing they often say is:

‘When I began directing, it made me a better actor. I could see things from another perspective. I saw what I could do in the editing stage, how to clean up scripts, when to use CGI etc.'

This person has a viewpoint of a part in the system, actor.

Plus, they have the viewpoint of the person who creates the system, director.

In the past, I’ve met people who came from India to the US to build a Dunkin Donuts empire.

A lot of these Indians started off working low-level positions.

Like dish washing, making donuts, mopping etc.

They learned everything about Dunkin Donuts.

Eventually, they were bumped up to manager status.

After learning how to manage people, they decided to make the next leap.

They bought 1 franchise.

Turned 1 into 2.

2 into 6.

Their collection grew.

Soon, they had a Dunkin Donuts empire.

Many built the empire to only lose it.

Only a few kept it and multiplied it.

For those who kept it and multiplied it, their cheatcode was:

‘Never have too much pride to roll up your sleeves and do the dishes for your franchises.’

Doing the grunt work in the stores is a great way to keep a pulse on what is working and what is not.

This guy was half empire builder & half dish washer.

Eminem is one of the most decorated rappers of all time.

You would think he only shows up when he feels like it, right?

Nope.

Where a lot of artists only show up when they want to.

Eminem treats his business of rapping like a 9-5 job.

He clocks in at 9:00 in the morning, and clocks out at 5:00 PM.

He's a rap mogul & an employee at the same time.

A lot of times, people who have high-level positions let the hubris get to them.

Their only intention is to rise so they can flex.

But flexing is poison for a leader.

A leader has to have a lot of perspective so