People Skills 2 in 1 Bundle: 202 Short Stories to Improve Visualization Skills, Level Up Public Speaking Presentations, Master Content Marketing, Hold Better Conversations, & Boost Creative Thinking

By Armani Talks

People Skills is a 2-in-1 bundle that will help you effectively communicate your message with others. In this bundle, you will be given 2 books: Clarity and Linguist. Let's go through what you can expect from each book.

Book 1 - Clarity: 101 Shor

• Language: English
• Publisher: Armani Talks
• Release date: Feb 9, 2024
• ISBN: 9781088236024

Book preview

How to do Visualization to Build Spatial Intelligence

Visualization is a powerful concept in many circles.

From the circles of athletics, self-improvement, artists, and much more.

This site deals with communication skills.

Can visualization help you become a better communicator?

Of course!

Visualization is the training of the mind.

And the beauty is that it’s a skillset.

Meaning that we can learn a few fundamentals & practice it to get better.

The problem is that everyone thinks they are a master at visualization.

But they aren’t.

‘Why do you say that?’

Because they don’t visualize.

They daydream.

BIG DIFFERENCE.

A difference we are going to cover in this article.

Visualization is a powerful skill set for the mind.

And it’s time we learn how to visualize for dummies.

All you need is 5-10 minutes of your time every day.

Can you do that?

‘Yessir.’

Perfect. Let’s cut to the core concepts of this subject.

What’s the Difference between Day Dreaming & Visualizing?

From afar, the 2 concepts seem the same.

Daydreaming involves images.

Visualizing involves images.

But when you look closer, you’ll notice the intent is different between the 2 acts.

And that makes all the difference.

For daydreaming, you are in a mindless state.

For visualizing, you are in a mindful state.

The mind naturally wants to daydream.

Hopping from thought to thought.

But for visualization, you are choosing a target.

You are NOT hopping from thought to thought.

Instead, you are focusing on one image.

The goal is to be able to hold that image.

And from holding that image, we can eventually make it move.

Seems simple.

But it’s an extremely difficult concept to execute.

Biggest ERROR When it Comes to Visualizing

‘What would you say holds people back when it comes to visualizing?’

Trying to do too much.

Rather than focusing on perfecting one image…

We try to perfect too many images.

The mind becomes overloaded.

Aka: The Monkey Mind.

In the world of the mind, less is WAY more.

We are on a lifelong journey to reduce the entropy of the mind.

Which means to still it & make it relax.

Thoughts are the waves.

And consciousness is the ocean.

When we can relax the waves, we are pure & can see reality better.

One of the best ways to calm the waves is to train the mind to focus on a TARGET.

‘Focus on a target? Hm…this seems a little like meditation.’

Yep. Visualization done correctly is a form of meditation.

It’s a form of mental training…

So start viewing your mind the same way you view your body.

You don’t go to the gym & try to do 10 workouts at once, right?

‘Fuck no!’

Then what do you do?

‘I focus on executing one workout perfectly, complete it, and then go to the next.’

Exactly.

Likewise, with visualization, we are training our minds to focus on LESS.

That’s the intent.

Visualization for Dummies

Now that we understand that visualization requires less, the question is, where do we start?

How do we choose an image?

Truth be told, any image will do.

I recommend starting off SIMPLE.

Start off with an apple.

An apple is an easy image for your mind to warm up too.

We want to warm up the mind so we don’t overwork it.

We don’t want to be that skinny kid who tries bench pressing 400 pounds during their first time in the gym lol.

No thanks.

WARMUP IS KEY.

Leave your ego out of this.

So you have an apple (or any simple image of your choice).

Now the goal is to be able to create the image in your mind’s eye.

Can you do it?

Be honest with yourself.

We are going for CONCRETE images.

If it’s fuzzy, then keep focusing on making the image more concrete.

This can take a few sessions.

Once you are able to produce a concrete image of the apple, give yourself a pat on the back!

‘Why? It’s just an apple.’

That’s not the point.

Focus on the concept of what you just did.

What you did was reproduce an image out of thin air with your mind.

It’s quite profound when you break it down.

‘Awesome bro! Am I done?’

No.

You were able to produce a concrete image of the apple, great.

Now the question is, can you hold onto the image?

That’s key.

Visualization isn’t just about seeing flashes of an image.

It’s about holding the image as well.

‘Why is holding onto the image important?’

Because then you have control.

‘And why is control important?’

Because now you have the power to turn 2D into 3D.

Strengthening the Visualization Muscle

Most think they visualize in 3D, but they don’t.

They can barely control their own concentration.

They have so many thoughts showing up while they are envisioning the apple, that they mistake a 2D image for 3D.

3D requires work.

Thus far, we have warmed up with the apple.

We focused on making the image go from fuzzy to CONCRETE.

As we made the image clear and concrete, we focused on holding onto it.

The more we hold onto the image, the more depth we are able to give it.

Seeing a 3D image in your mind is powerful.

This is a thought that you were in charge of creating.

For a lot of people, they are not in charge of their thoughts.

Gossip, mainstream media & marketers are in charge of their thoughts.

Each 3D image you are able to create gives you more power over your destiny.

And that’s why we want to keep gradually building our visualization muscle.

As you keep zoning in on that ONE image, you will soon be able to see 3D with ease.

The apple is now more in your control.

Envision you picking it up.

Envision you throwing it.

And envision you cutting it.

As you are envisioning yourself doing these acts, your body will get involved with visualization as well.

You’ll notice a few sensations from your palm will light up when you pick up the apple to throw it.

Embrace all the physical sensations.

Those sensations give you more connection with the image you just created.

As you get advanced in 3D images, you body will naturally play a bigger role.

To speed up your journey, actively try to get your body involved rather than waiting for it to step up.

Feel the sensations of the palms.

Create a sound as you bite into the apple.

Do your best to taste it.

Get creative.

Understanding the Practical Benefits of Visualization

You now have a clear understanding of how the game works.

But let’s clarify the major points one more time.

What separates visualization from daydreaming is the intent.

You are consciously choosing an image to focus your mind on.

Just like anything in life, we need to work our way up.

Instead of trying to envision 10 different images, we will just envision 1.

Once we choose our 1 image, our goal is to:

Produce a concrete image of it.

Be able to hold onto the image.

Turn the image from 2D to 3D.

Animate the 3D image.

Get our body senses gradually more engaged.

As you are able to do this, you can move onto bigger images.

If you want to visualize yourself, a pro tip is to find ONE picture of you & visualize that. Build a relationship with this image.

It trains your mind to see yourself from a 3rd perspective.

At this point, you have all the knowledge to begin visualization.

But will you begin?

Some will, some may not.

‘Why would anyone possibly not begin?’

Because they don’t understand the benefits on a deeper level or may not have the time.

A few benefits include:

-Your subconscious mind (the mind that dictates 95% of your life) cannot tell the difference between what is imagined & what is real.

-Visualization primes your body to be more ready for a task.

-Enhances Spatial Intelligence.

-Visualization helps you build concentration.

These are just 4 benefits I’ve noticed from my journey.

But take some time to browse the internet & evaluate your experiences to notice your personal benefits.

This is a mental workout that helps you think in the images of your choice.

See Clarity in the Mind’s Eyes

With all that being said, visualization is a cornerstone habit.

A cornerstone habit is something that has an impact on other parts of your life.

From visualization, you build creativity, concentration, mental toughness etc.

All signs of a great communicator.

In the world of telling stories, it’s all a game of how well you can create images.

As information technology grows, we are noticing a blurring of realities.

What was considered fake a couple of years ago is now considered real.

Is this blog real?

Well, if you made it this far, then the blog may have added practical value to your life.

So in the context of your reality, yes it is real.

Even though you cannot hold it, touch it, smell it, etc.

Your mind is not something you can hold.

Your mind is something that you can experience.

But why only experience?

Take control.

And you do that by leveling up your visualization game.

Go from the warmup stage to mastery in real-time.

Clear mind videos are on the horizon.

Acquaintance vs Friend: What’s the Difference?

The following post is from the ArmaniTalks Twitter Account

Social Law:

1. Keep your friend circle small.

-This allows for stronger bonds & fewer snakes.

2. Keep your acquaintance circle large.

-This allows for more versatility & networking opportunities.

‘Seems like the law is backwards?’

Nope.

It’s in the correct way.

Mistaking it as being backwards will cause a lot of tension.

Are you aware of the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?

‘Sort of.’

Let’s turn ‘sort of’ into a ‘yes.’

Continue reading…

Talk to someone’s child side to build a friend.

Talk to someone’s adult side to build an acquaintance.

Both are required for a network.

It’s not about the quantity, yet.

It’s about being able to label, first.

What do you picture when I say, popular?

‘Someone who has a lot of friends.

Mistake.

Popular is someone who has loyal friends.

Loyalty is difficult to find.

And loyalty takes time to spot.

It can be spotted while going thru the ups AND downs with someone.

That’s a big part of what separates a friend from an acquaintance.

With a friend, you most likely went thru the ups AND downs with them.

With an acquaintance, that’s not always the case.

After the up AND down process, it was easier to decide if the person was loyal or not.

If not, then the friendship probably dissipated.

If yes, then the friendship solidified.

Let’s say you have 100$ right now…

If you try to split it among 20 people, then each will get 5$.

If you try to split it among 5 people, then each will get 20$.

That’s like your energy.

Trying to split your energy with everyone causes people to get a fake version of you.

And you to get a fake version of them.

People with a lot of ‘friends’ often get backstabbed the most.

Mainly because they:

-Trusted too soon.

-Have to scope thru too many people to find the snake.

Now let’s talk about acquaintances…

This label often gets a bad reputation.

If you go to someone and tell them you view them as an acquaintance, they may get offended.

I get excited.

‘Why?’

Because acquaintances keep a network versatile.

A solid acquaintance is born from a win-win relationship.

Both of you are providing value for each other in some way.

But unlike a friend, this group does not need as much energy.

A simple text once a month to see how everything is going is MORE than enough with an acquaintance.

The numbers may vary depending on the bond.

This is called a ‘touch point.’

The reason an acquaintance is powerful is because they can introduce you to a brand new network.

With your friends, you most likely know a lot of the same people.

Not always, but that’s often the case.

Let’s say Jim needs a job.

He doesn’t want to wait months for his resume to be read.

So he contacts a guy who knows a guy.

Jim knows that Johnny works in his dream company.

Johnny is not a higher-up in the company.

But Johnny knows Ricky, who happens to be a recruiter.

Jim is connected with Ricky thru Johnny.

This is called ‘node hopping.’

The core of a network are the friends.

View that as the nucleus.

The power of a network are the acquaintances.

Less is more for the nucleus.

More is more for power.

Before I wrap up, one reason you are lonely is because you are unable to distinguish an acquaintance from a friend.

You keep dwelling on who you don’t have, and ignore who you do have.

This dwelling causes you to wonder why you haven’t been thru the ups AND downs with acquaintances.

But remember what I said earlier.

Ups AND downs are for friends!

See if you have at least 2-3 friends.

And family counts too.

What Kind of Content Should I Create?

Should you create content?

If you are remotely curious about the question, then it’s best you keep reading.

If the idea sounds laughable to you, then chances are you should still keep reading.

What is content?

Content = Stories.

Ideas.

The ideas take up life in different forms.

Sometimes, pictures.

Other times, tweets.

Videos.

There is a whole ecosystem for different ways to create content.

But the fundamentals come down to ideas.

Who should create content & why add another thing to your life?

That’s what this post aims to cover.

Hobbies

Everyone should have a hobby.

A hobby is a task that is used to unwind.

‘What if I don’t want a hobby?’

Then a hobby finds you.

But when a hobby finds you, that’s not good news.

It normally comes in the shape of a bad habit.

On a day-by-day basis, the average person is getting a flurry of energy thrown at them.

Different information, opinions, dialogues are being absorbed by this person.

All that energy absorbed should be released in an outlet.

When no outlet is assigned, that’s when bad habits like:

excessive pornography, alcoholism, smoking cigarettes takes form.

Intentionally choosing a hobby signals to the subconscious mind that YOU are in charge.

Not the outside environment.

Why Content Creation is the Ultimate Hobby

A great hobby should leave you better off.

It should hit any of the target points:

-makes you a better communicator.

-adds money to your bank account.

-gives emotional fulfillment.

-leads to mental clarity.

Any of those effects show the sign of a great hobby.

Guess what?

‘What?’

Content creation hits all of them.

Content creation is the art of storytelling.

So you leave off as a better communicator.

Strategically leveraging your content leads to money.

An example is this blog.

If anyone clicks on the ads on this blog, I get paid.

It’s the concept that matters.

Ideas are turning into cash.

Emotional fulfillment happens when you pick a topic that you are naturally curious about.

What should be avoided is picking a topic just because others are choosing it.

Find the topic which aligns with your inner world & emotional fulfillment happens.

The byproduct of emotional fulfillment is mental clarity.

The mind mainly gets fuzzy when emotions are chaotic.

Smooth emotions equal a calm ocean.

A calm ocean equals a calm mind.

What Kind of Content Should You Create?

‘Alright Armani, I am really considering becoming a content creator of some sort.’

Awesome!

‘The only problem is that I am stuck on the sort. No clue what to do next. What kind of content should I create?’

Before getting too detailed, it comes down to looking at your consumption.

‘Don’t you mean production?’

No, I mean your consumption.

What kind of content do you predominantly consume at the moment?

You may be wondering why this is an important question.

This is important because it shows 2 things:

-It shows where you are currently finding emotional fulfillment.

-It gives signs to your thinking patterns.

‘I predominantly listen to podcasts.’

That means you enjoy podcasts.

Also, you most likely consume podcasts from more than 1 creator.

So chances are your mind is thinking in a new way.

Your voice is being morphed to sound like a podcaster.

May not notice it yet…

But just know that you consuming podcasts will help you in your unique content creation journey.

Fear and Joy

The content you predominantly consume does not necessarily always have to decide your content creation fate.

I am a hybrid.

I like to read books, don’t listen to many podcasts & occasionally watch some YouTube videos.

But the ArmaniTalks brand covers most forms of media.

Emails, tweets, blogs, YouTube, podcasts & books.

You’ll truly know when you start creating content.

That’s when it comes down to zoning in on the passion.

‘How is the topic chosen?

The topic can be chosen in 2 different ways:

-Fear

-Joy

Let’s talk about this.

Finding The Topics to Talk About

Great content is born from fear and/or joy.

What is it that you are scared of?

Go on a journey to conquering the fear & creating stories on that.

This kills multiple birds with 1 stone.

A fear is conquered.

In-depth content is created for life.

Others who want to conquer the same fear, learn.

The joy route is doubling down on a passion.

This too kills multiple birds with 1 stone.

The passion turns into a codified skill.

In-depth content is created for life.

Others who want to level up this skill, learn.

Both fear & joy have the emotional component involved.

Which charges up the lifeless content.

Without the emotions from your end, it’s hard to make someone else feel from their end.

Create a Schedule and Start

Procrastination will never get you started

Perfectionism will never get you finished.

So it’s a game of beginning before you’re ready.

A recap:

Find out what you consume the most to look for signs of which platform to begin on.

Find topics that either scare you or make you feel alive.

Create content on number 2.

A rough schedule helps a ton.

Example: a blog every Sunday, Wednesday, and Saturday.

Or a new YouTube video every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

This is a game of repetition.

The content does not exist if it is not published.

Get comfortable with publishing & each rep gets more polished over time.

Leaving a Dent on the Internet

The internet is still in the infancy stages.

Despite how complex it seems at this stage.

The beauty of the internet is that it does not see age, race, gender, etc.

It just sees value or no value.

The other beauty is that anyone can carve out a niche for themselves.

No matter how bizarre it may seem at the moment.

Creating your own lane is always an option as well.

It never hurts to be a pioneer on the digital stage.

The best content is the one that is created with you leading the way.

Lead with personality first & sprinkle in your skillset along the way.

Thriving in Chaos

Chaos gets a bad rep.

It’s seen as something that should be avoided.

But is this true?

What about in an alternate reality where chaos is rewarded?

Well, I guess we are living in an alternate reality.

Because chaos is rewarded.

From muscles to businesses, to innovation…

All greatness is born by thriving in chaos.

Why the poor narrative regarding it?

Because all things have a poor narrative depending on the angle that it’s being looked in from.

Thrive in chaos.

Invite it in willingly.

And evolve to a new state.

Destruction

People are creatures of habit.

The ability to do a certain task without any further conscious thought means it has become a habit.

Brushing your teeth, typing, driving, etc.

These are acts that are good to have automated.

Imagine if you had to think intently every time you had to brush your teeth.

No thank you.

Despite the automation of tasks being a good thing….

It can also be a deadly thing.

‘Why do you say that?’

Because too much automation leads to complacency.

The brain likes comfort.

But the same desire for comfort is the same reason why someone gets stuck in the comfort zone.

The zone where no growth takes place.

That’s when some destruction is needed.

Why Introduce Chaos?

Destruction sounds scary.

And you may be picturing one of those old-school cartoons where a cat blows up a building with a stick of dynamite.

It’s not quite that serious.

Destruction in the world of neural pathways & cognitive efficiency comes down to:

Doing something new.

Or adding in uncomfortable repetitions to something old.

Something new can be picking up a task that you have little to no experience in.

This automatically introduces a level of chaos.

Adding in uncomfortable repetitions to an old task will also introduce chaos.

Like how you normally plan a speech for a few days.

But now you’re setting the intention to have the whole speech created in a day.

Scratch that…in a couple of minutes.

That’s chaos.

This chaos leads to something great.

‘What does this chaos lead to?’

A new you.

Why Chaos leads to Evolution

There are many definitions for art & there are many definitions for artists.

One of the definitions for an artist on Google is:

A person skilled at a particular task or occupation.

This is a very different definition than many were probably expecting.

When I was young, my definition of an artist introduced the image of a guy painting.

Thought the only way to be an artist was to draw or paint.

However, that was a limited perception.

The true definition is a highly skilled individual.

Now the next question…what is art?

I see a lot of definitions on Google.

But I don’t like them.

What I do like is:

Art = Structured Chaos

What composes of that chaos?

That can depend.

It can be due to introducing the new uncomfortable reps.

The chaos can be born thru dark emotions.

Chaos can be introduced by starting a new field…etc.

But from my lens, chaos is interwoven into art.

With the definition of an artist being a highly-skilled individual, everyone should strive to be an artist.

At least in one or many fields.

And it can truly be any field.

Family, storytelling, business, basketball, etc.

When someone fails to introduce artistry into their life, that’s when sadness & anxiety starts creeping in.

The inner greatness wants more.

It wants to seek expression.

Therefore, go on…

Give it expression.

How to Start Thriving In Chaos For Dummies

Where do you go from here?

What’s the next step?

Well, this can be the beginning of you introducing chaos at THIS moment.

Rather than expecting a response from me on those 2 questions.

Answer them yourself.

Where do you go from here?

And what are your next steps?

Think about it.

It really comes down to changing something up.

Maybe it’s a daily routine.

Or maybe it’s introducing a new variable to your day.

The mind is much more inclined to participate in voluntary chaos when it knows the rewards.

And the rewards are enhanced skills in a given craft.

If you’re someone going thru a tough time right now…Let’s say a rock bottom.

Then surprisingly, this is good news.

The ability to work thru tough emotions is a form of chaos.

And the ability to rise above this chaos builds consistency into the future.

My Example with Chaos

So one example of myself introducing chaos came down to impromptu speaking.

I was doing public speaking in the Tampa area, doing some talks & emceeing different events.

This was an enjoyable process.

However, a part of me thought about approaching these talks with no notes.

By building the ability to think fast.

At first, the limiting thoughts of:

-No, you need notes all the time.

-Your memory isn’t strong like that.

-Don’t be lazy.

Started to come to me.

However, I decided to practice impromptu speaking.

Started a YouTube channel that was built on the back of impromptu speaking.

Topics that I cover are related to communication skills.

And I consistently put out videos, exercising my memory, logic, articulation & impromptu muscle.

Over time, this skillset started to feel more comfortable.

In the initial stages, it was a pain in the ass.

You’ll be surprised how much physical pain is felt building impromptu speaking skills.

-The head hurts.

–Breathing patterns need to be managed so the voice doesn’t break.

-And there are tons of muscle spasms doing a talk without interruption.

However, eventually, my mind & body adjusted to the chaos.

And nowadays, when I get invited to do a talk, I feel much more confident to take it.

Before, I would need a minimum of a 1-week heads up for a talk.

Nowadays, a same-day talk is not out of the ordinary.

Thriving in chaos in this situation is still an iterative process.

And that process of iteration is what keeps everything unpredictable & interesting.

Thriving in Chaos like a Winner

Overall, chaos is a part of the game.

By choosing to avoid chaos, you still invite chaos.

The dark narrative with this situation though is when chaos comes…

You’ll be rattled.

You’ll be like ‘damn, I wasn’t expecting that! What the fuck?’

Negative perception.

On the flipside, by intentionally introducing chaos to your life now, the game changes.

It’s more about building micro reps of destruction.

This conditions a positive perception towards unpredictability.

Then when unpredictability outside of your control is introduced…

There is this strange composure.

Others around you are looking at you puzzled.

‘How is this guy so composed?’

But you know.

You’ve been preparing for this.

Preparing like an artist who takes their craft seriously.

Straight poise…

Showtime.

Demystifying Public Speaking Nerves

When I first started public speaking, I hated the nerves.

The nerves of danger is what I considered it.

Still remember it like it was yesterday.

I had to give a 5-minute presentation about myself to give to a club that I wanted to join.

5 minutes.

That’s not too bad, right?

Wrong.

It was THAT bad.

When the club announced that potential new members had to give a 5-minute presentation on themselves… I was terrified.

It didn’t matter that I had to talk about ME.

It should be easy to speak about me!

But that was not remotely the case.

That day, I ended up feeling so many nerves, that I turned a 5-minute speech into a 35-second one.

Others thought I was arrogant for making my speech so short.

They thought I didn’t care about joining the club.

But that’ wasn’t the case.

Public speaking nerves got the best of me.

Everyone has a plan…until they are terrified.

It’s time that we understand these nerves on a deeper level.

If the public speaking nerves aren’t going to go away, then lets at least learn how to work with them.

Better yet….LEVERAGE them.

Why do we Feel Public Speaking Nerves?

That speech day, I learned how public speaking nerves can come out of the blue moon.

Why was this?

It’s because public speaking is an unnatural act.

We rarely are put in a situation where we have to talk in front of a large-scale group.

One on one conversation? Sure, we can do that.

Talking in a small group? Sure, we can do that.

‘How come I can talk to friends in a group, but not give a speech?’

Because typically, when you are talking to friends in a group, y’all are all having a bunch of conversations.

Tim is talking to Julie & Sam.

You are talking to Mikey.

Russell is talking to Jose.

Everything is DECENTRALIZED.

While with public speaking, the interaction is CENTRALIZED…

You are the central node.

The star of the show.

Us humans crave the spotlight, until we get it.

And that’s when we start to feel the fear.

So let me reiterate…

Public speaking nerves spike up because you’re doing a task that is outside your traditional comfort zone.

Is the Public Speaking Nerves Bad?

‘Alright, Armani.. You told me why I have these nerves. Now tell me how to get rid of it!’

Whoa… wait up there bud.

Why do you want to get rid of it?

‘Because I’m scared!’

Let’s take a pause for a second.

Aren’t you also scared while watching a scary movie?

More specifically, that one scene where the curious lady is going into the DARK room.

You know..

The room with the serial killer!!?

We feel scared during those moments.

That suspense causes similar sensations as the public speaking nerves.

Heart beats fast.

Tingle down our spine.

Skin feels chills.

Yet, we watch scary movies after scary movies.

Why?

It’s because humans LOVE to feel.

We consume most entertainment because it makes us feel a certain type of way.

Otherwise, we would not consume it.

The main difference between a horror movie & public speaking is a matter of choice in the feeling process.

We have the CHOICE to feel a certain way for a horror movie.

But we don’t have that same level of control in regards to public speaking.

However, what if I told you that those nerves were needed?

That those nerves were not your enemy, but rather your friend?

Would you still want to kill it off then?

‘If these nerves were my friend, then no. I’d like to keep them. But I doubt that’s the case!’

Well, your doubt is incorrect, my friend.

Your public speaking nerves is nature’s ways of telling you to WAKE UP.

Nature’s Red Bull

Nature’s Red Bull comes down to you feeling strong sensations.

And these sensations can be self-generated.

Just imagine that.

You can get a Red Bull (energy) anytime you desire (envision the right scenario).

Any person who has been public speaking for YEARS will tell you that they feel nerves.

Every time they have to give a talk.

And if you probe even further.

They’ll tell you that they would have it NO other way.

Why?

It’s because, for them, they don’t use words like ‘public speaking nerves.’

-That conditions the minds towards negativity.

They view those nerves as energy.

-That conditions the minds towards neutrality.

A big part of emotional intelligence is to use fewer words (at times) to describe your feelings.

Just FEEL your damn feelings.

Meaning that you physically sit with the feelings & learn to become friends with it.

Sort of like a body meditation.

Avoid picking up your phone.

Turning on your TV.

Or distracting yourself with narcotics when you feel these ‘nerves.’

All you’re doing is treating these nerves as an enemy.

If you want to become friends with the nerves, then just sit with it.

Welcome it.

The more you sit with the feelings, the better you feel.

Sitting with this energy makes you more emotionally intelligent.

You control your energy, not the other way around.

Leading up to a speech, you feel a fuck ton of tension.

That’s the perfect time to drink Nature’s Red Bull.

A speaker who feels the EXACT same on speech week as he/she does when there is no speech, tends to be boring.

They don’t rise to the occasion.

Because in their mind…there is no occasion in the first place!

A lack of nerves makes you a bland, boring speaker.

Your goal is to never kill the nerves.

It’s learning how to LEVERAGE it.

And the way that you leverage the nerves is by sitting with it, so it becomes integrated into your being.

Welcome Nerves & Conquer Public Speaking Fear

Your nerves were always a sign bud.

And if you are reading this portion, then you have knowledge that unfortunately, many others never will.

They don’t ask questions when they are confused.

Rather, they just mail it in.

Acting like a victim.

You now know that your nerves are just a part of the process.

Rather than acting like you are the only person in the world going thru it…

Realize everyone goes thru it.

This gives you a sense of peace knowing that you are not alone.

Now embrace those nerves.

They will always follow you in all facets of life that requires you to rise to the occasion.

So you know what to do.

RISE.

Dominate.

Conquer the #1 fear on the planet like a warrior.

5 UNIQUE Ways to Practice for Public Speaking

It’s not easy to develop a routine practice for public speaking.

Mainly due to a common misconception.

The misconception is thinking that you need an audience to practice public speaking.

That’s not always the case.

An audience helps, don’t get me wrong.

But the type of audience that we use can be something that we get creative with.

Other times, an audience is not needed at all.

That’s what this blog post is for.

You are going to learn how to develop a practice for public speaking.

I’m going to give you some suggestions to spark creative insights within you.

From there, it’s a matter of being bold, disciplined and consistent in executing the practices.

Conquer your speech anxiety.

That’s how you show that you mean business.

Tools Needed

Before I give you my suggestions, I have a few tools I would recommend.

That’s the camera and your wardrobe.

You may be tempted to practice your speech in front of a mirror…

However, I don’t recommend that.

The mirror can cause you to be more excessive in your thinking.

It gets you in your head more.

Sure, a mirror is better than nothing.

However, a camera skyrockets your growth because you can always watch it back from the perspective of the audience.

Plus, you don’t overthink as much.

Next, for the wardrobe, I recommend doing your best to wear the same clothes that you plan to wear on speech day.

Sometimes, a shirt you were going to choose may be a bit tight around the collar. The practice session will help you spot that.

The main reason you’re wearing similar clothes for your practice session as you plan to wear on speech day is because we want to create a real life simulation.

PS: your scent is a part of your wardrobe. So spray the same exact scent you plan to wear on your speech!!!

The closer we get, the better.

For each of the following 5 strategies, use the camera and have the correct wardrobe.

Strategy 1: Hell Method

In one of my Toastmasters competition’s, I learned the hard way that I hated speaking in cold weather.

This competition was in a library and it was freezing.

There were 4 speakers who were set to do the planned speeches.

As I sat next to them, I noticed my fingers shivering due to the cold.

This shivering made it harder to speak.

Although I was capable of speaking, I learned that day it is best to prepare for the worst.

Likewise, with the Hell Method, we are creating our personal hell factory.

If you hate the cold weather, practice in the cold.

If you are feeling too calm, then do 50 pushups and begin your speech.

Drink tons of coffee and force yourself to think straight.

Invite friends to intentionally distract you.

In this Hell’s dungeon, you are conditioning your mind to prepare for the worst, so you are pleasantly surprised on speech day.

A baby is crying on your live talk?

Who cares! You prepped in hell beforehand.

Strategy 2: Social Interactions

Rather than going out to clubs and spending all your money on alcohol, host an event.

Invite 3-5 friends over, buy them pizza and have them serve as your audience.

If you want to be extra slick, combine this method with the Hell Method.

Have your friends heckle you.

Surprisingly, allowing them to heckle you will bond you guys closer, and you’ll exercise your concentration more.

This is a beautiful practice for public speaking.

More importantly, have them give an honest evaluation of your talk afterwards.

What they liked and what they didn’t like.

These friends may not be formally trained on how to give an evaluation, so avoid being too sensitive.

Just take what works and avoid what doesn’t.

Strategy 3: Projector Method

Learning about the subconscious mind is fascinating.

If you cannot remotely articulate the difference between the conscious and subconscious mind, then what’s wrong with you??

Just kidding.

A little psychology knowledge creates a deadly speaker.

Conscious mind handles intellectual processing, imagination, language formation etc.

Subconscious mind absorbs and serves as the database.

If you can get the subconscious mind on your side, your speech anxiety will plummet.

It’s easy to fool the subconscious mind.

Get a projector.

Pull up an image of a crowd.

Then give your talk.

This will feel like a real-life audience.

Practice locking eye contact with someone and delivering a point.

Then transition smoothly to another audience member.

Even though the intellectual conscious mind is like, ‘this isn’t a real crowd!’

The subconscious mind is being fooled.

Try it.

Strategy 4: Speak in Public

I had this one Toastmaster mentor who made me give a speech to him at iHop.

I was embarrassed as hell and was very angry at him for putting me in that position.

However, I did it.

It was a short talk about a computer learning to talk.

A few people from the iHop looked at me and went back to eating their meals.

While others were listening to my talk and wondering what was going on.

After the initial talk, my face was hot and my skin felt flushed.

After 2 minutes, I FELT BOLD.

Something about giving a speech in a setting where you aren’t supposed to be giving a speech makes you feel alive.

I’m not saying to crash your local iHop.

But see if you can get a friend and have him or her record you as you speak in a park.

Talk as though you are recording a YouTube video or documentary.

Some people will look at you, intrigued.

Others will flat out not even notice.

It’s rarely that serious.

Strategy 5: Old Fashioned Way

The old-fashioned way to practice a speech is to just talk in front of the camera and watch it back.

You don’t necessarily need to create a personalized hell..

Invite friends over..

Go to a park…

Just create a talk, record it, watch it back.

The goal is to get through your speech 5 times to perfection, before you stop practicing.

This is probably the least glamourous practice method out there…

Guess what though?

‘What?’

It works.

You don’t need to do too much.

However, I do believe making it challenging helps way more than it hurts.

Just know that the strategies are limitless.

The only barriers are limiting beliefs.

Leverage all the Practice for Public Speaking

One of the worst things you can do is have a limited perspective in regards to speeches.

When you act like you are about to give your final speech, that’s when you get jittery.

Too much high pressure for no reason.

Have an abundance mindset for public speaking.

The opportunities truly are limitless.

You can always join a local Toastmasters, create a Meetup group or host a club meeting to work on your speeches.

The ultimate recipe is to keep cultivating that abundance mindset.

That’s when all the practices for public speaking are not going to feel like a chore.

Instead, it’s going to feel like a game.

View public speaking as a game and you can’t help but become a better speaker.

Now the words flow out…rather than being pushed out.

Podcast vs YouTube: Which One is Right for You?

Are you team Podcast or team YouTube?

‘Depends man. Sometimes I like podcasts better. Other times, I enjoy watching a video.’

Dope, that’s like most people.

In terms of content consumption, we are pretty flexible.

Different moods lead to different consumption methods.

On the flip side, let’s say you are now trying to CREATE content.

A more concrete method may be needed.

Which is right for you?

Starting your own Podcast or YouTube channel?

Thus far in the ArmaniTalks brand, I’ve recorded over 200 podcast episodes & 200 videos.

Also, coached different clients on launching their personal Podcasts & YouTube channels.

There are a couple of insights you should know before getting started.

By internalizing these insights, you’ll be able to pick the path which works for you, long term.

Not one of those wishy-washy content creators who only show up when they feel like it.

Benefits of a Podcast

A podcast is ridiculously easy to set up.

You need a few things.

Let’s talk about the basics.

A laptop.

Free audio recording software (audacity).

A USB microphone that can plug into the laptop.

Ideas.

Detailed equipment in the resources tab.

We can get even more complex by adding in the cover art, hosting services, & all that…

However, that’s not needed for now.

A laptop & microphone is what gets the ball rolling.

With the ease of setup, a Podcast is an easy world to commit to.

You can do it dressed up or in your PJs.

This is a great route for someone who loves their privacy and is not a big fan of showing their face.

Surprisingly, you can build a large podcast following without ever having the need to show your face.

With podcasts, the shows can range from 7 minutes to hours long.

So there is flexibility in that regard.

Podcasts also feel highly intimate.

Something about sound…

When we hear sound, it feels like we know this person on a very deep level.

Plenty of people listen to podcasts in an isolated manner.

Meaning, they will listen in their car, plug-in their headphones in the gym, or play an episode while cooking.

Due to the intimate nature, you don’t need to do anything overly extravagant to keep holding attention.

Actually, it’s better if you can act like you’re talking to your best friend.

Benefits of a YouTube

YouTube surprisingly is pretty easy to set up as well.

We can always make it more complex later on in the game.

Honestly, a smartphone is all that is needed to get the ball rolling.

As a creator advances, they can get a nice camera, a lapel mic, lighting, and all that.

Detailed equipment on the resources tab.

But in the beginning, the smartphone has a lot of these variables blended in.

The beauty of YouTube is that the audience gets to see your face.

‘Why is that important?’

It’s important for a certain segment of people.

They like the ability to see your face & hear your voice.

Humans are highly visual creatures.

And through the visuals, it’s a great way to cheat code the rapport-building process.

Plus, with YouTube, there is always the ability to add in other variables like:

-Graphics.

-B-roll.

-Music.

-Transitions and all of that.

Since you’re going to be on camera, this requires a bit of freshening up.

However, that’s not always needed.

Some creators just focus on the content & appearance is secondary.

It’s always the content that is king.

In the world of YouTube, if you get a nice keyword research tool like TubeBuddy, then it becomes much easier to find topics to create content on.

If you chose a topic that is pretty highly searched, with low competition rankings, it’s easier to rank for that word.

This means you will show up on YouTube’s search bar when someone searches for that keyword.

Making it easier to organically grow an audience.

Can you do both YouTube and Podcast?

‘Can I do both? Rather than it being Podcast VS YouTube, can it be Podcast AND YouTube?’

The answer is yes, you can do both.

That’s what I do.

However, you want to ask yourself something…

Why am I trying to create this content in the first place?

As cheesy as it sounds, the WHY will determine if you will stay consistent with the process.

No need to get super specific with the why, yet.

Just ask yourself..

Is the content channel a way to:

-grow business

-build credibility

-establish a body of work

-build a portfolio of ideas

etc.

For me, it was a bit of all the 4 above.

But predominantly, I wanted to get as much experience in regards to media as possible.

So I could get in the habit of articulating my ideas, while building a smoother voice & pleasant body language.

Blending the world of Podcast & YouTube helped me improve my communication skills.

Balancing the 2 requires simplicity & a schedule.

Especially if you are bootstrapping the whole thing.

‘What’s bootstrapping?’

Basically putting in your own time, editing your own stuff, and thinking of your own content.

Bootstrapping is often required in the beginning stages as we are growing.

Rough schedule for me:

-New video every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

-New podcast every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

You can even make the journey easier by having a disk drive of a bunch of pre-recorded Podcasts & YouTube videos.

Having backups always leads to more creativity.

Podcast vs YouTube: Long Term Game

Ultimately, ask yourself, which one can I see myself sticking to long term?

A lot of the times, the answer lies in the media that we consume the most.

If you consistently consume podcast episodes, who knows, that may be your calling.

And vice versa is always true.

The beauty is that with modern video editing software, it’s much easier to extract audio & add in images to cross combine media.

Examples:

-Strip off the audio of the YouTube video to upload it as a podcast.

-Get the audio from a podcast episode & add-in images to create a YouTube video.

So whichever decision you make, understand you can cross combine the 2 worlds later.

Not only in terms of content, but in terms of content ideas.

The beauty of the world of creativity is that everything begins connecting at one point.

Just ask yourself, what can I do long term & why am I doing it?

This will guide you towards your path.

Best Era to Be a Content Creator

With the advanced world of the internet & the affordability of technology…

This is the best era to be a content creator.

Whether it’s Podcast vs YouTube or Podcast and YouTube.

It’s difficult for someone to tell you exactly what your path should be.

In the world of the internet, with an abundance of information…

Self-awareness is key.

Both the world of YouTube and Podcast offers their own benefits.

However, the only way to grow the audience & build credibility is by playing the long game.

That’s the beauty of content creation.

It will always be the consistency that serves as the weeding out process.

Best Social Skills Books

Social Skills are a crucial component of the real world.

The ability to form a social asset can pay dividends to your future.

‘Social assets? Is that even a thing?’

Yes.

In his famous book, Rich Dad Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki defines assets & liabilities in very simple terms.

He says:

Assets put money in my pocket.

Liabilities take money out of my pocket.

In the social world, there are similar parallels.

Social assets add value to your life.

Social liabilities take value out of your life.

We all have different definitions of value.

Some of us view value as having fun.

Others view value in a business sense.

But at the core of it all, value leads to an empowering feeling after an interaction rather than a drained feeling.

In this blog, I am going to share a few books which I think do a great job in giving you education on social skills.

I already created a blog on my best books for communication skills.

That blog is a more high-level approach to communication in general.

It covers topics such as public speaking, negotiation, emotional intelligence etc.

But this blog will be specific for the best social skills books.

Social skills is a topic that we were never taught in school.

But better late than never.

The books I list in this blog are filled with timeless principles that will build your charisma from the ground up. Let’s begin.

The Charisma Myth

Social skills & charisma are very ambiguous concepts.

If we are someone who considers ourselves logical, we often prefer more concrete principles to follow.

In that case, the Charisma Myth is a perfect fit.

The author, Olivia Fox Cabane, does a great job of distilling the fundamentals of charisma into a science.

She spots patterns in charismatic behaviors & distills it down to the details.

Which is why this book is great for a high-level overview approach + a low-level look as well.

The Charisma Myth is highly practical and sheds the notion that people are born charismatic.

Rather, charisma is something that is learned, practiced and mastered.

How to Be a Power Connector

Having a social network is great.

But have you ever wondered how much of the network you are fully utilizing?

In How to Be a Power Connector, Judy Robinet gives insights on how to create a valuable network.

Judy places an emphasis on strategic networking, rather than mindlessly exchanging business cards.

One thing that I enjoyed about this book was the concept of leading with value.

A lot of networking relies on short-handed tricks & strategies.

But Judy urges her readers to think about how to add value to others so getting value back is a tension-free process.

This book includes offline & online strategies on how to improve social skills that build your network.

It’s Not All About Me

Have you ever met someone who always makes the entire conversation about them?

And who knows, you may fall into that boat!

A lot of us subconsciously make ourselves the center of attention in interactions.

Rather than actively listening, we are planning the next thing that we are going to say.

This is one of the main causes of social anxiety as well.

In his book, It’s Not All About Me, Robert Dreeke gives us a MUCH needed reality check.

We learn that it is not all about us & in order to develop social skills, we need to escape our ego.

Easier said than done.

Robert gives practical strategies in learning about the human mind, taking the focus off of ourselves & how to build rapport.

An underrated book in developing charisma.

Never Eat Alone

Personally, this is my favorite book on developing social skills.

I enjoy this book because it is very versatile.

In Never Eat Alone, you learn the art of developing personal & professional relationships.

The author, Keith Ferrazzi shares real-life examples of how he used his networking skills to make effective moves in his corporate career.

When we think of social skills, we often think it holds value in our personal lives, but not as much value in our professional lives.

But Keith demonstrates that notion could not be further from the truth.

Keith teaches you practical strategies on pinging, how to stay relevant in today’s noisy era & how to effectively distribute content to build influence.

This book can be applied to entrepreneurs or to that shy person who is looking to build a social circle from ground up.

Social Intelligence

Humans are naturally social creatures.

But how much do social skills impact our biology & core state?

Daniel Goleman would argue, plenty.

In Social Intelligence, Daniel breaks down how to be socially dynamic & analyzes the main factors that lead to social success.

I initially discovered the book after reading Emotional Intelligence (which is a great book for understanding motivation, empathy & emotional regulation).

This book teaches you how to build stronger relationships with family, friends, romantic partners, business partners etc.

You gain depth into how each relationship is different & should be treated with care.

If you are looking for the nitty-gritty science & fundamentals, then this book is for you.

Daniel Goleman talks about charisma, first impressions, attraction & the traits of future leaders.

How To Win Friends & Influence People

When you typically think of social skills books, this is probably the first one that comes into mind.

And it is one of the most popular social skills book for a reason!

Dale Carnegie distills the fundamentals of what makes a charismatic human.

And it doesn’t have much to do with saying the right things or your bragging about your accomplishments.

Instead, in How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale talks about principles like:

-Leveraging another human’s name.

-Making others feel important.

-Talking about your own mistakes before criticizing.

This book brings clarity to ambiguity & is a great resource to understand humans at a deeper level.

How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People

I was recommended to read this book when I was in high school by my psychology teacher.

He said everything I needed to know on how to build confidence around humans can be found in this book.

How to Have Confidence & Power in Dealing with People is special because it breaks down myths about what power is supposed to be.

When we normally think of power, we think of someone who can bulldoze their way to the top.

However, the author Les Giblin provides strategies on how you can develop power & have the other person feeling empowered.

You become an advancing personality who leaves people better than you found them.

Les Giblin’s practical strategies can be applied to any type of humans ranging from family, business partners, friends, etc.

Learn to build power & do it the ethical way.

Building Your Social Skills

Even though we were not taught social skills in school, it’s never too late.

Once you get out there in the real world, you begin to realize that life is a game of people.

Whether you are forming alliances or trying to make sense of a betrayal.

People will be a significant part of your life.

These are my best books on social skills because all the tips are timeless.

There are no gimmicks or short term strategies.

Instead, each of the books covers core concepts of psychology, sociology & emotional intelligence.

Read the books.

Study them.

And continue to apply them.

You’ll gain experience that you are able to tie concepts into.

That’s how you build tools for the future.

Anyone can become charismatic and develop social skills.

But only a few will.

Which group will you fall in?

Only time will tell.

Data Storytelling for Dummies: What is It?

Data storytelling is becoming a popular phrase as of late.

This is one of the fields that will be responsible for merging the technical world with the creative world.

What took so long?

As information technology has advanced, we have been leveling up our data storage game.

Companies have acquired more data in the past 12 years than all the prior years in history.

That’s how gargantuan the digital progress has been.

Data by itself means little.

The goal is to turn the data into meaningful insights.

That’s where data storytelling is born.

In this article, I’m going to share a dummies guide into understanding this field.

We will understand some concepts of gathering data, cleaning it up & finding the context beneath it all.

No matter which field you’re in, understanding some basic data storytelling principles will help you out.

My First Encounter with Data Storytelling

In my final year of my master’s, I had a project coming up.

I was given access to a bunch of data for a company & had to give a presentation on it for the class.

The purpose of the presentation was to share:

Why was this data important?

I was given a bunch of data for Air BnBs in Chicago.

More specifically, a few particular neighborhoods.

At first, I was blankly staring at all the data and had no clue what to do with it.

That’s when I got my first insight:

Data by itself doesn’t mean much.

The question is, so what?

That’s when I got more data for nearby restaurants.

And I saw that there were certain neighborhoods that would go to certain restaurants.

Maybe because the restaurants were close by?

No, as I looked closer, there were people walking PAST the close restaurants to walk to the further ones.

The close restaurants were chains and the far ones were restaurants authentic to Chicago.

This gave me an insight that the Air BnB guests were probably visiting nationally or internationally and wanted to get authentic Chicago food, whether it meant walking further or not!

That made sense.

What kind of savage travels somewhere new & eats McDonald’s? Jk lol.

How smart would it be if a restaurant owner of authentic Chicago food built a store right next to that neighborhood?

Fundamentals of Data Storytelling

From this story, there are a few things you should know:

Data = Unstructured

Information = Structured data

Story = Information with personality

If we have a bunch of data, that’s great.

That’s better than having nothing.

At this stage, we have high entropy.

‘Entropy?? That seems like a scary word!’

No, it’s not.

Entropy = High Disorder = Little Meaning

Our goal as the data storyteller is to get the data and create meaning out of it.

We want to see what the data is telling us.

This is when we want to observe without bias.

The ‘without bias’ part is important.

If you have a bias, you’ll see whatever you want to see.

That’s how data is used to spread lies and brainwash people.

But if you keep humbling yourself and remaining in curiosity mode, the more your perspective will open.

As you start seeing certain patterns, you’ll often need to get more data at that point.

The more content you have, the more you are capable of spotting a context.

Remember, we are going through the data for a reason.

Our goal is to provide useful value.

‘Useful value to who?’

To people.

How to Add Value to People

There’s a big difference between information and a story.

Information is something that you can Google.

A pie chart is information.

Whenever you create a story, understand that you are talking to people’s identities.

Their identity has emotions, memories, intellect, and all that.

But to dumb it down even further, picture humans have a sign on their forehead that writes:

‘What’s in it for me?’

Or:

‘Who gives a fuck? I could be watching Squid Games right now.’

If you enter the data like that, then it will become much easier to not only extract information from the data…

But to deliver a story with the information that you get!

How do you turn the information into a story?

Know who you are talking to.

Give examples and analogies.

Don’t share more than you need to.

These 3 steps are what’s needed to turn your data into a story.

So, here’s the sequence:

Data to information.

Information to story.

Where to Practice Data Storytelling

‘I’m not in a technical field right now. How can I practice data storytelling?’

You don’t need to be in a technical field, data doesn’t discriminate.

Let’s say you started a diet and got a Fitbit to track your health metrics.

6 days out of the week, you follow your diet.

But one day, there is a massive spike which indicates