The Life

By Imani McKinnon

It's about me and my life. The good and bad times.

The main characters is me and I do have my mom in the book, Jacqui Mckinnon.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookTrail Publishing
• Release date: Jan 25, 2024
• ISBN: 9781962256476

Book preview

cover.jpg

Copyright © 2024 Imani McKinnon

Paperback: 978-1-962256-46-9

eBook: 978-1-962256-47-6

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024900942

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Ordering Information:

BookTrail Agency

8838 Sleepy Hollow Rd.

Kansas City, MO 64114

Printed in the United States of America

I was born with C5 Quadriplegia at Brooklyn Hospital in 1979 marking the beginning of my journey. Despite this, I have never fully comprehended how I came to be in this condition.

It’s been very hard since the accident happened 40 years ago. Now I do have my ups and down days just like everybody else, but whenever I’m on my low moments, I find myself grappling with the thoughts of what happened and trying to understand why it did.

I’m not saying that my accident is a bad thing at all. But because of it, in fact, good things also happen. This is largely due to the unwavering support of my mother, my sister, and a multitude of friends and family.

However, groups are not always supportive, especially when it comes to interactions between different groups and individuals with disabilities. Problems can arise when being part of a group, as they may not fully accept you for who you are. This remains a significant challenge in today’s world.

I have always enjoyed my own company, and I continue to do so. While having some friends can also be beneficial, it’s crucial to choose them wisely.

It’s time for a change of plans; a new day has dawned for me. I’ve decided to remove negative influences and people who are no longer true friends from my life.

Sometimes my back hurts from time to time, but I don’t mention it. I just keep pushing forward without complaining.

Like everyone else, I experience anger, but I’ve learned to keep it in check for a very long time. I’ve held onto it and never let it go; this has been my approach for as long as I can remember, and it remains the same even now.

I understand that someone might suggest that holding onto anger isn’t healthy, especially for individuals with disabilities like mine, albeit in different ways.

Back in the late 2000s, I experienced a serious health setback that led me back to the hospital. I faced life-threatening situations more than twice during this period. Once, during surgeries on my back and hips, and another instance involved a severe cold affecting my lungs, putting my life at risk.

Despite all the challenges I’ve faced in my life, I’m determined to keep moving forward and never stop. It’s time for a new change, and I’m ready for it.

I’m not that little kid anymore who once thought that life was going to be over while in the hospital. Even though I still face health issues like sores and occasional back pain, it’s not as severe as it used to be. Perhaps the numerous surgeries throughout my life have contributed to the changes.

I still grapple with health issues, such as sores all over my body. There are times when these issues force me to pause from my usual activities, and in those moments, it can feel like life is coming to an end. However, I recognize that it’s not truly over.

My mother has been a significant support in my life, helping me navigate through challenges like dealing with sores, undergoing surgeries, and everything else that has occurred. She has always been there for me whenever something goes wrong.

Now, life has presented another challenge as my grandmother has been unwell for an extended period, and my mother is unable to take care of both of us simultaneously.

Also, my mother is currently unwell due to back problems, and additional issues have surfaced, causing concern. The unpredictable nature of the future is particularly distressing. Thus, my mother is no longer able to take care for me as she once did, making the situation even more challenging for both of us.

As time passes, I realize that I must gradually learn to take care of myself as I grow older, in one way or another.

One fascinating aspect of life is its occasional humor. When I was a child, I didn’t really enjoy my life; it was quite challenging. I found myself constantly battling for my life, both in school and outside of it, and this struggle persists even now.

During my time in the hospital in the late 2000s, I fell seriously ill and ended up in the hospital. I faced life-threatening situations more than twice—once during surgeries on my back and hips, and another instance involved a severe cold affecting my lungs.

Despite all the challenges I’ve faced in my life, I am determined to keep moving forward and never stop. It’s time for a new change, and I am ready for it.

I’m no longer that little kid who was in the hospital, thinking that my life was coming to an end. Even when I do get sick now, it’s not as severe as it used to be.

Even though I still experience health issues such as sores and occasional back pain, it’s not as intense as it used to be. Perhaps it’s a result of all the surgeries I’ve undergone throughout my life.

Now I continue to face health issues, such as sores scattered across my body, which sometimes force me to halt my activities. It also makes my life feel like it’s coming to an end, even though it truly isn’t.

My mother has been a tremendous support in everything happening in my life, from dealing with health issues like sores to undergoing surgeries and handling various other matters. She has consistently been there whenever something goes wrong.

But now, life has presented another challenge as my grandmother has been unwell for an extended period, and my mother is unable to take care of both of us. Additionally, my mother is not feeling well due to her back problem.

And now, another set of problems has risen, affecting not only my life but everyone’s. This one is particularly frightening because we don’t know what is going to happen next.

I couldn’t bid farewell to my grandmother as she passed away due to COVID, since my own health wasn’t in the best condition. However, my mother had to go and ensure everything was well with my grandmother, despite the challenges posed by the pandemic.

It’s disheartening that COVID continues to impact our lives, and now a similar situation that happened to my grandmother is occurring with my uncle. Sadly, I won’t be able to see him before he passes away. However, I find comfort in knowing that my grandmother will be there for him.

My mother will be there, ensuring everything is taken care of, but due to COVID, I won’t be able to join. Nevertheless, I’ll cherish the memories of both him and my grandmother.

Unfortunately, my goddaughter is unaware of what has happened to her own father due to the mess she made of her own life and that of her daughter. Regrettably, she didn’t consider the impact of her actions on my family.

When you made those choices, it seems you didn’t consider the consequences for my grandmother or the time you might face, jeopardizing your freedom and losing your only daughter. It appears that avoiding consequences mattered more to you than taking care of our family or your daughter.

I wish you had known our grandmother the way the rest of us did, but unfortunately, between you and your boyfriend, you took advantage of her and everything she had. You didn’t consider that, nor did you think to reach out to me or anyone else. Now, it seems you don’t have a life anymore. I won’t miss you at all.

Though they say to forgive and forget, I find it difficult to forgive or forget, and I don’t think I ever will.

But thanks to the groups that supported me and the friends currently in my life, I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes in life, you have to be selective about choosing friends, much like you choose ripe fruits.

Selecting friends is challenging because often, they aren’t there for you during both the highs and lows, a universal experience, not exclusive to disabled individuals.

When friends are absent, life becomes difficult. For instance, when my grandmother passed away, no one took the time to inquire about my well-being or ask how I was doing. There was a void in my life during that time.

Some of my family members, particularly the insincere ones, inquired about me, but most of them were genuinely there for me, my family, and even my grandmother’s friends. Some of those friends were never truly close to my grandmother; she saw through their insincerity, but I struggled to understand it then, and perhaps I still do.

However, what I do understand is that my grandmother will always be cherished and never forgotten.

I’ve been told that my grandmother is present with me, but not in a physical sense; it’s a spiritual presence, different from what is typically portrayed in television shows.

This spiritual connection is incredibly comforting, and I couldn’t ask for anything more than knowing she’s still around me in that way.

My grandmother’s birthday is approaching, and this time, it’s going to be particularly challenging for me and my family as we’re still grieving her passing.

Nevertheless, we plan to celebrate her birthday in a different way, ensuring she knows it’s a collective tribute from all of us.

It’s interesting how life unfolds, with people entering your life unexpectedly and swiftly.

They act like nothing ever happened, being there one moment and gone the next, without any apparent reason. It leaves you wondering why they disappeared, perhaps because they didn’t think about you in the same way you did about them.

You left without saying anything, and as we grew older, our paths diverged, and the love faded away. Despite occasional conversations as friends, nothing more remained.

I never expected that feeling to return in a million years. After all, we weren’t talking as much, and you were my ex at that time, nothing more than that.

But we shared some great times when we were together, but I have no desire to revisit that relationship.

Being friends is perfectly fine with me. While relationships are good, I’d prefer to remain friends. I’ve been through that experience, and when the right person comes into my life, I’ll recognize it.

I’m content and relieved not to be with that person anymore. I