Foggy Existence

By Yvrose Petit-Frere

Foggy. Yes. That is what best describes the shift Vanity Stonefields' life took towards struggle, pain and unhappiness. Together with her headstrong will, love of her family and faith in God, she was gifted resiliency and fortitude to surmount it all. Throughout life, writing provided Vanity the unyielding solace and mechanism like no other, while remaining focused on giving her only child a bright and better future. Vanity should have been the joy of her family, but her hidden demons turned her into a shy, reserved and moody girl. Her mere existence was foggy, but her conviction to rise above attributed to her survival and her sanity in the face of adversity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jun 22, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098314385

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Foggy Existence

Yvrose Petit-Frere

ISBN (Print Edition): 978-1-09831-437-8

ISBN (eBook Edition): 978-1-09831-438-5

© 2020. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Outline

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Prologue

Part I

Beginning

Chapter 2

Born (Cap-Haitian)

Chapter 3

Early Childhood

Chapter 4

Left town

Chapter 5

13 years old

Chapter 6

Appendicitis

Chapter 7

Pregnancy

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Part II

Teenage Years/Early Adult

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

New York/Boston 84-88

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

New York/Boston

Chapter 18

J.G.

Part III

Adulthood

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Orlando

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

1998

Chapter 24

1999-2000

Chapter 25

2004/2009 Mom/grandma death

Chapter 26

Mom

Epilogue

Dedication

I dedicate this writing to the Almighty for keeping me alive till now even after all the bad things that I accused Him of letting happen to me. I lost track of the many times I cursed the day that I was born…but today I thank God for giving me the strength and courage to write this book and for the gifts of this life. It wasn’t easy.

My beloved daughter Stherlie, my sunshine, whom no matter what still loves me and stands by me and supports me with any and everything I set this wild heart after. I have put you through a whole lot, I know. Thanks…mommy loves you!

My grandson Guiano, the love of my life, the apple of my eyes, the one who has me wrapped around his little finger. The boy I waited for all my life. My reason for living…after my mother’s death. The innocent little man who knows how to put a smile on my face.

And my grandson Greyson, who came into my life during my bad depression, but I love you and can’t imagine my life without you.

Acknowledgements

A special thanks to my cousin Marc and his wife Ernestine Thevenin for their unconditional love and unselfish gesture when I found out my mother had a stroke.

My precious friend Job Georgeon for standing by me through thick and thin. The brother I looked for all my life and the one person who showed me how to love my daughter and, eventually, myself.

My mentor, Dr. Franklin Charlot, for encouraging me and helping me with homework assignments during the first year of high school, here in America. Much appreciated.

Dr. Hirsh, my surgeon, for not removing my whole breast as promised and for understanding the importance of my daughter’s sixteen birthday before my surgery.

Dr. Rosenberg, my oncologist, and her staff for their patience and kindness during that long chemotherapy process.

My editor and all who helped make this book a reality.

My three uncles (Lucma, Paulma, and Emmanuel Petit-Frere) and my three aunts (Rose Leane Petit-Frere, Rose Pelina Mathieu, and Amalia Thevenin) for your unconditional love.

Last but not least, Gina and Rick Mariano for your help and support moving my furniture to storage during chemotherapy. I could not have done it without you guys.

You guys are the best, I love you!

Prologue

The year was 1999, the time was Monday, October 12, at 10:30 to be exact. I entered the doctor’s office to find him sitting at his desk and two young physicians sitting across from him in two of three chairs. He was reading my file.

Good morning! He got up, shook my hand, and said, Come in and take a seat, please. These are my colleagues, Dr. Michael and Dr. Wu.

We shook hands. I took the third seat, feeling a little bit uneasy seeing two other doctors in the room.

How are you feeling, Vanity? Is your pain better?

I quickly responded, I still have some pain, but I’m okay, thank you.

I was going over your file with my colleagues, and I have some good and bad news for you. The good news is—

I’ll take the bad news first. I interrupt him mid-sentence.

To my surprise, with a quick glance in my direction, he continued. The biopsy revealed that you have cancer. I could operate right away. The cancer is in its early stage, so surgery won’t be long, and we’ll start chemo and radiation therapy right after.

Did I just hear what I thought he said? Is he insane, or is it just me? How can that be? I must not have heard him quite right.

Later, while floating toward my Toyota Camry LE, leaving the doctor’s office, my primary hope was to make it home safe. It hit me like a bag of wet sand had just made heavy contact with my head. Yes, he did say Cancer, the big C word, or I am daydreaming again? A week ago, I had the biopsy. Open wound on the left side of my chest. Disgusting, yes. Annoying, also yes, to the point of wanting to put a piece of gauze over it. But how could it be? Why the hell did he say cancer?

Maybe I shouldn’t have had that stupid biopsy. I took my Aunt Amanda’s scary advice to have that non-leaving lump checked out, and against my best judgment, I went for that biopsy, and now he had the nerve to say that I have cancer. How dare he? Playing with my life when I have so much more to accomplish in this lifetime.

I’m only in my early thirties. I don’t drink or smoke. So why should I concern myself with a biopsy other than it being uncomfortable with that stupid cut on my left breast. I love dressing sexy in low-cut outfits, so a no-scar policy, especially on the upper chest area, is ideal.

Well, I can’t be worrying myself with his bad news right now because in a week my daughter is turning sixteen, or should I say, sweet sixteen. I need to start buying little things here and there for her, like my mother and I always did during her past birthdays.

I started planning that nice party I’d dreamed about for months. There was no way in hell I was going to tell my little girl that mommy might die soon because of breast cancer, which at the time felt like a death sentence to me. Don’t get me wrong, lots of people live through it, but I knew lots also die every year of all kinds of cancers. I also had heard that chemotherapy kills and radiation therapy gives or may also cause cancer along the way—rare, but it happens. So, tell me that’s not a fucking death sentence.

That drive home was twelve years ago or so. New perspectives.

As a cancer survivor, I pray, hope, and wait for a cure that may never come. Being in remission doesn’t exactly mean cancer-free for life, does it? You can never be sure of what might be growing inside of you. How do you really go on when faced with the unknown on a constant basis? When life throws punches left and right at me, I usually put on my boxing gloves and fight back with all my strength; because if I sit and mope around, the more depressed I become. More punches will come my way. I realize it’s okay to feel depressed, hopeless, or even overwhelmed, but the faster I stand, the clearer I see and the quicker, and the more focused I’ll be. But to be frank, cancer kicks my butt.

I see life as a footbridge that I have to cross regardless of the obstacles, so when the going gets tough, I ask God for guidance and direction, then start thinking and going after my goals and my dreams. When I’m very depressed, I count my blessings, and try hard

Reviews for Foggy Existence

[Ernestine Thevenin · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I love this book I could not stop reading it. ITS IS A GOOD BOOK. I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK